|happily ever after|
post-life travel, of course, has some challenges. you will need a spouse, friend or family member with a good sense of humour, profound sense of humour and stunted gag reflex. on the plus side, you may be able to save a little money by having yourself checked as luggage rather than buying an additional ticket. these are details that are at the discretion of the individual traveler.
some of these excursions could get pretty expensive, but then again, so are funerals, and they don't seem nearly as fun.
sapânta, romania :: i apologise to any romanians reading this article, because i know the spelling of the town name is off, but blogger/ chrome just isn't giving me access to the characters i need to get it right.
|can i have this dance for the rest of my life?|
if you're feeling at all depressed about your recent passing, this place is pretty much certain to cheer you up with its innocent, charming artwork and on-point limericks [for those of you who read romanian] that tell the tales of the people who have lived there.
ahmedabad, india :: most restaurants get all snotty if you try to bring a corpse on the premises, like those hypocrites don't serve chopped up animal corpses every day. but you don't have to fear that sort of alive-ism at the new lucky restaurant, because they have their own corpses right on the premises to keep you company. open since the 1950s, the dining establishment was originally on the outside of the adjacent graveyard, but has since expanded so that some of the neighbours are permanent residents. to date, there have been no zombie incidents, and the restaurant owner treats his dead guests with great respect, keeping them neat and clean. we're not quite sure how this works with the health inspectors, but if they don't have an issue, there's no reason anyone else should.
|don't talk too loud, you'll wake the dead|
the tradition involves digging up the remains of one's ancestors and then dancing with them. so if you're dead already, you need not have that adolescent fear that no one will want to dance with you and that you'll feel hellishly awkward. your lifeless state pretty much guarantees you'll be the belle of the ball. you might even get someone to slow dance with you. [i actually imagine that most of the dances are pretty slow, because going all riverdance would likely result in the guests of honour quite literally falling apart.]
sagada, philippines :: big cities tend to be a little judgmental when it comes to a traveling corpse, so why not get really off the beaten track and kick up your heels in the remote town of sagada, famous for its heady rice wine, stunning mountainous landscape and hanging coffins.
tibet :: although you'll want to leave this to near the end of your trip, it's hard to overstate the powerful ritual of sky burial. this is a ritual whereby the body is wrapped in white cloth in the fetal position, under the watchful eyes of monks, who then carry it to the "charnel ground", where it is dismembered and laid out for the angels to claim. the angels in this case take the form of vultures and they claim the body by devouring it, but what the hell do you care? you're dead anyway, so someone might as well eat you.
it is important to note that photography is strictly forbidden during these ceremonies, as the tibetan belief is that it could interfere with the ascent of the soul. so, no matter how tempting it might be to capture the moment when you're eaten by vultures, no selfies.
space :: in theory, the angel vultures are supposed to eat all of the body, but you might want to ask your travel companion to hold back just a wee bit of you in order that you might take the ultimate post-life holiday. that's right: you're going to infinity and beyond.
|i'm a rocket man|
nevertheless, you have to admit that it would be pretty cool to know that your body [or whatever the vultures leave of it] could be circulating in space, creating cosmic litter for eternity. life is fleeting, but you could revel in the glory of death for all time!
so that's a quick look at just a few of the exciting destinations you should consider after you're done visiting all those places you simply must see before you die. remember: our greatest voyages must be unchained from the tyranny of breathing. the best experiences you'll ever have are probably those that will happen after you're dead, assuming that part of you is somehow around to enjoy them. live long and prosper or die young and explore; the choice is yours.