Skip to main content

forget your daughters, lock up your cats

it helps to have an innocent-looking accomplice
our fur-children were curious this morning when they spotted a new friend in the next building over. she's a big, beautiful girl, a dilute tortoiseshell with a lovely round face and persian-type cobby body [although she's short-haired, not persian]. she was obviously just as curious about our motley feline crew as well, sitting there for ages and watching them [mostly simon and lulu, who are always the social ones] and only leaving several minutes after they'd moved on. dom and i weren't nearly so interesting to her. and i'm almost certain that she was particularly checking out simon's butt. i know i would.

but what really concerns me here is my own reaction when i saw her. because the first thought that entered my head and stayed there for several minutes, being pondered when i saw how interested she was in my babies and they were in her was: "i wonder if i should go and take her."

i want to emphasise that this was a clean, well-fed [but not overfed] cat. she looked extremely healthy. she seemed calm and happy in her window. but most importantly, she was inside, in a third or fourth story apartment, meaning that she doesn't have to deal with the terrors of the urban outdoors. i wasn't thinking of rescuing a cat from abandonment or mistreatment. i was just thinking of plucking her out of the arms of people who probably love her for no other reason than she seemed to like looking at my fur-children.

it's bad enough that i was picturing myself shimmying up the rickety fire escape of the building next door, tearing my way through the window screen and then descending that same fire escape with a large cat in one arm undetected [like she'd just sit there as i banged and thumped my way up the iron staircase and bashed in the screen in front of her, since that would be such typical cat-like behaviour]. but consider my line of logic here: "she looked at me, so that means i should just go take her". that's the justification that rapists use. so if you scratch my feminist surface with feline claws, i am the enemy.

of course, it did eventually dawn on me that cat-napping the neighbour's baby was neither a nice nor an intelligent thing to do, but it kind of scares me that it took quite a while for what i'd term "rationality" to kick in. and i'm not sure that it wasn't because i started to think about the unpleasantness of ascending a fire escape in the 35c heat. like the main thing between me being the way i am now and me being a malevolent and chaotic force for destruction in the universe is my own laziness.

at least now i feel like i have a good defense for my laziness.

so the good news is, i didn't stalk and kidnap someone's beloved pet today. but just to be safe, if you're anywhere near where i am or where you think i might at some point be, you should keep your cats at a safe distance and behind at least one locked door. because, if it's not too much of an effort, i'm clearly a menace. 

Comments

Bellyhead said…
I hardly ever had thoughts about stealing other people's people children, but often have such thoughts about their fur babies. Is this wrong?

as long as you're here, why not read more?

mental health mondays :: the war at home

what's worse than being sent off to war when you're barely old enough to order a drink in a bar? making it home only to get poisoned by the government that sent you there. 
although it's certainly not a secret, i don't find that the opiate/ opioid crisis happening in america gets nearly the attention it deserves. at least, what attention it gets just seems to repeat "thousands of people are dying, it's terrible", without ever explaining how things got to the state they are now. there's mention of heroin becoming cheaper, of shameful over-prescriptions and dumping of pills in poorly regulated states/ counties, etc. but too much of the media coverage seems content to say that there's a problem and leave it at that.

one of the things that might be hindering debate is that a very big problem likely has a lot of different causes, which means that it's important to break it down into smaller problems to deal with it. and one of those problems conne…

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

digging for [audio] treasure

my computer tells me that i need to cut down the amount of music stored on my overstuffed hard drive. my ears tell me that that would deprive me of some wonderful listening experiences. 
halifax, nova scotia was not the easiest place to find out about music with limited appeal. it was a very music-centred city, to be sure, but, being smaller, things like noise, industrial, and experimental music struggled to gain a foothold, even as the alternative rock scene exploded in the early nineties. i was lucky enough to have some friends who were happy to share music that they loved, but i knew that there were lots of things that i was missing out on.

with the dawn of the internet, and various types of music sharing, i found myself able to discover bands that i'd heard about, but never managed to track down, from the days of underground cassette culture. and, to my surprise and elation, many of them do very much live up to what i'd imagined from reading descriptions of them in catalo…