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i might need a little help figuring this one out...

one of the wonderful things about living with cats [probably any animals] is that they are just so... unpredictable. they have things that they do all the time for no reason they ever explain. i mean, some of them make perfect sense. they shred curtains because they hate your taste in decor, for instance.

some are a little more puzzling, but you can still relate them to some type of animal behaviour. lulu, our youngest, has a compulsion to bury anything edible. i understand that this is a holdover from the wild [lulu was, indeed, born feral, although you'd hardly guess that from the rest of her outgoing, hyper-confident personality]. wild cats will bury their leftovers to stop potential predators from figuring out where they are. in a house with multiple cats, that can be a bit frustrating, particularly for the other cats, because the second the food dishes are alone, lulu starts digging and carrying whatever crap she can find [she's not above pulling things out of the garbage] and throwing it on top of the remaining food. i don't know what predators she thinks are going to pick our locks in the middle of the night, but she's really convinced that it's incredibly bloody important to bury all the food, post haste. the same thing goes for any dishes dom and i use, except that with us, she doesn't bother to wait until we're finished with them. if our plates, bowls or coffee mugs are anywhere but in our hands, she will try to bury them. and we've discovered the hard way that burying them often entails knocking them onto the floor.

but most recently, i've noticed a type of behaviour that really can't be explained by subconscious cat programming. this is simon, using the litter pan:

and he's thrilled i'm posting this on the internet, let me tell you

i don't want to state the obvious, but that's not normal.

of course, simon isn't exactly normal. in addition to having to protect our plates and bowls from lulu, we've also had to develop the habit of keeping any alcohol in a firm grasp and cautioning any guests to do the same, because if there is even a whiff of beer, wine or cider in the air, simon will not rest until he's found it and at least tried to consume it. he's not exactly a beacon of normal cat-ness.

so now that we've become accustomed to his alcoholism, we're having to deal with the fact that he's decided to pee standing up and perched on the side of his litter pan. i'm really sure that there aren't little bobcat urinals in the wild, or even port-a-potties [surely national geographic would have found them already?], so i can't relate this to some ancient part of his brain. but i can't relate it to any other part of his brain either and, despite the fact that he talks more than any cat i've ever met, he can't seem to explain it to me.


part of me thinks that he's imitating dom and me, because he sees us sort of doing the same thing and he's damn sure that we never stand in our own toilet, which made me think that he could possibly be trained to use the big people potty. then i started to worry that he'd fall in in a drunken stupor. plus, of course, his little brother hecubus has fallen in the toilet twice without even being drunk. so it seems like i'd just be creating a world of problems.

so that's my week. i have a new book out and a cat who perches on the side of his litter pan to pee. happy easter.

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