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armchair centreback :: breaking up and breaking bones

we have to talk
must be nice being a manchester city fan, where you can just buy everything you want. and if it doesn't work out, you can just pawn it off on someone else and buy yourself another.

sad face.

yes, my beloved swans finally had to capitulate and sell their best goal scorer, wilfried bony, he of the velvet eyes and godlike legs [which are apparently popular, since it's one of the search terms that leads people here], to big-spending city. and all swansea fans knew that this day was coming- hell, i said myself that i was shocked to see him back at the liberty in august- but it still sucks. really sucks. sure, we have 30 million gbp with which we can dry our tears, but it's not a lot of fun looking for a solid player when everyone knows you just got a big cheque. there's no incentive for anyone to make a good deal because what are you being so cheap for? you just won the lottery!

i look at this wilfried thing as a cautionary tale about relationships. after all, he never made a secret of the fact that swansea was a springboard to go to a big club and play in the champions league with the rich kids. it's a tribute to swansea's player supply chain that they were able to get him at all, and even that cost them a club record 12 million, but no one thought this was a long-term thing. it's just that it was so enjoyable while it lasted. imagine you meet a guy or girl, whichever is your preference, and they're new in town and want someone to help them get to know the place and have a little fun together. that person is clear up front that he [i'm just going with he now, because it suits my wilfried metaphor] doesn't want a relationship, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy each others' company. and say that you know in your heart of hearts that this person is really smart, or really talented, or just plain gorgeous, way more than anyone you'd be likely to get on your own, except that he doesn't know anyone in the area and seems pretty cool about being with you. and you're aware that you're probably getting a bit more into this than you should, because it's clear you have no future, but you're just enjoying the ride so much that you figure everything will work itself out for the best eventually.

you are worth applauding, you dream-crushing bastard
then one day he shows up and tells you that it's time to end your little fling because he's met this successful, glamourous, fabulously wealthy girl [again, could be a guy, fill in your own pronouns] and she's amazing and he wants to get serious with her. you knew something like this was bound to happen, right? and it's not like he was ever dishonest, right? he never said he wasn't looking for a relationship at all. he said that he wasn't looking for a relationship with you. so you can't even really hate him and he's kind of a great guy, even if he is just the slightest bit full of himself, so you want him to be happy, but maybe it would be nice if he could find a way to be happy with you, as unlikely as that is?

so then you're moping around, feeling sorry for yourself and wondering what's so bad about being with you. after all, you're charming and a bit of a spitfire and sort of adorably quirky. what happened to looking beyond the surface? what happened to sticking with the one what brung ya? and at the same time, you're forced to admit that you're never going to be the girl with the perfect teeth and the supermodel body who could have any man she wanted. it's hard on the ego, but it was pretty much inevitable and so you decide to steel yourself and march right on.

and then you get clobbered by chelsea 5-0. [sorry, i couldn't figure out how to work that into the narrative. but i am thrilled that "is josé mourinho satanic?" has been among the search terms leading here in the last couple of weeks. yes, my friends, yes he is.]

that's the kind of week it's been if you're a swansea fan.

but on the brighter side...

well, we have thirty million pounds that we didn't have last week, so that's something. it's two and a half times what we paid for wilfried, so it was a good piece of business. also, there's this weird rumour going around that swans management may have approached mario gomez, who's had a very rough time with fiorentina in italy since returning from the injury that kept him out of the world cup.

that even looks a bit like a swansea jersey...
getting shipped off to swansea would still be a huge demotion for gomez, who just two years ago was playing in his home country for one of the best teams in the entire world. plus, we don't know what kind of attitude he's going to bring. we'd be like his rebound relationship and that almost never works out well.

on the other hand, gomez is a pretty amazing player when fit and if he were to recover his confidence, swansea would be a force to be reckoned with. but then he'd probably leave us... see how you've shattered our confidence, wilfried???

it's entirely unlikely that this rumour will amount to anything, but it does make my heart flutter just a little to think that it could. and it's not just because gomez is one of the choicest morsels of man candy in the game. i mean, that's a big factor, but it's not the only one.

*

serious mat is serious
if you're an arsenal fan, you don't really need to worry so much about money. sure, your parent might be really, really, obstinately adverse to giving you any, but you know that if you're ever in desperate straits, it will be there. if you're an arsenal fan, what you have to worry about is that someone seems to have put some kind of hardcore curse on you, or has voudou dolls of all your players and is jabbing them full of pins and nails every week.

it's not just the number of injuries that the team has suffered- believe it or not there are a few teams who are worse off- but it's the caliber of players they've lost. their main striker broke his tibia a couple of games into the season. their team captain has been unable to play, which is kind of a problem when you're supposed to be leading the field. their principal goalkeeper managed to injure his back in the process of making a costly error, which would have been bad enough, but the backup goalkeeper had already injured himself without actually playing. but the real problems have been with the defense, which has sustained so many injuries that the team has almost had to resort to using parking cones on the back line.

so it was a huge relief when summer singing mathieu debuchy returned after getting his leg broken early on. i mean, it was nice that they were able to replace one of the parking cones, but more importantly the sudden surge in team form was noticeable as soon as he came back. i don't mean to imply that this was all him, because it wasn't, but i think everyone felt better knowing that they had someone a bit tougher and a bit more aggressive back there.

and then one of stoke city's resident thugs gave him a helping hand [two, actually] into the advertising boards last week and dislocated his shoulder. the shoulder required surgery, which means that poor mat will be out for another three months and arsenal are looking at dragging out the parking cones again.

i'll personally miss seeing his handsome mug on the pitch and i suspect i'm not the only one.

they even got matching haircuts. world's. greatest. bromance.

it's a sad situation, because when he's been healthy [those four or five games], he's been a real asset. i'm hoping that the damage to his shoulder is overstated, but i also don't want him rushed back before he's fully healed.

on the other hand, arsenal steamrolled over manchester city today [take that you bony-poaching fuckers] and their defense was pretty amazing. youngster hector bellerin did a great job replacing debuchy, so it seems that all may not be as dark as it seems, as long as absolutely no one else gets injured for the rest of the year.

however, on the chance that the curse has not, in fact, been lifted, even parsimonious manager arsène wenger has admitted that it might be a good idea to bring in some defensive reinforcements. his usual habit is to hire fourteen year-olds and say that they'll mature into fantastic players [although they'll be crippled by injuries before that happens], but there has been talk that he may sign german defender mats hummels, who's old enough to be considered one of the best in the world at his job, but young enough that he could be around for quite a while yet.

hot stuff, comin' through
supposedly, mats was signed, sealed and on the delivery wagon to manchester united, but, like most people would, he may have had some second thoughts and rumours about him and arsenal that had gone dormant are coming back from the gossiping dead. it remains to be seen if he'd agree to a move in january, or at all, and he'd be an extremely expensive option because everyone wants him, which is great while it lasts and it only lasts until you make a choice. nonetheless, arsenal do have their charms and they do seem to be hitting their stride of late [although their stride occasionally leads them into advertising boards that break their shoulders]. everyone wants to join a team that seems to be headed for better things.

and once again, i'd like to say that my eagerness for this transfer is entirely because i think that he would be a great fit. although i do get a little wobbly in the knees looking at him.

as you can see, neither dom nor i got our christmas wishes from santa. [screw you old man! i hope your reindeer go on strike!] i, in fact, got the inverse of my wish, which was that we didn't get a good new back-up striker and we lost wilfried for good [may he rot in hell, although i wish him the best]. but i am trying to be positive about things [i positively hate manchester city, for instance]. things can only get better. well, really, they could get worse. but there's more room for them to get better than worse. which doesn't mean they will get better, but that there's a statistically good chance that they will get better. eventually. perhaps.

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