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the crying of page 45

do you love me?
there's been this thing going around facebook all week like some sort of social media herpes. everyone i've been in contact with has had it, or at least a lot of them have it goes like this: you're supposed to open the book nearest you and turn to page 45. magically, the sentence will explain your love life.

i figured i'd give it a shot, since some of the answers were interesting in an "i'd never thought of it like that" way. unfortunately, if i go by strict proximity to my body in the office, where i have my computer, things get a little weird. because almost all the books are in the living room, or possibly in the bedroom if i'd pulled them out to find a basis for me to win an argument look up something in particular.

it turns out that the shelf closest to me is actually the one where i keep my cookbooks. but rules are rules. the winning book turns out to be [appropriately enough] a taste of the maritimes by elizabeth bailey, which is a wonderful source of seasonal cuisine suggesting options for local [maritime] suppliers for key ingredients. and this is what the first sentence of the page has to say:

use this recipe as an opportunity to experiment with local wine you've never tried before- half can go into the recipe and half can go into you [and whoever is lucky enough to be your lab partner]. 

there you have it, folks. my love life is all about getting myself and my partners drunk. and that's probably what many suspected anyway.

at least i didn't end up with a story about getting nails in the head.

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long suffering

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so i tried writing something about just a part of it: the media coverage or the entertainment industry or the politicians or …

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: getting cheeky

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highlighters are an even trickier lot, since many of the more brilliant ones have a tendency to e…