Skip to main content

life is balance

being a libra, i have an inborn sense that things in the world should be balanced. now, that doesn't seem to be true for me on a macro level, in that my years of not killing people who annoy me has yet to be rewarded with me being given trillions of dollars and being made ruler of the universe- which only seems fair- but it does seem to be true for little things.

for instance, last night, dom and i were sitting in bed when the following conversation [sort of] happened:

dom :: stop doing that, it's creepy.

me :: what?

dom :: i mean it, cut it out!

me :: i don't know what i'm doing!

dom :: stop making that face!

me :: i'm not making a face.

cue several minutes of awkwardness while i try to figure out how to make my face not creepy, which essentially involved scrunching over on my side and looking at the wall until i didn't feel awkward anymore [because everyone looks creepy when they feel awkward].

in point of fact, i think i had been trying to look sort of sensual in the hopes that he'd notice and reward me with a spoonful of the hagen dazs he was eating. criticism accepted, dom.

but in the interests of universal balance, today saw this blog surpass it's record for number of views in one day- a record that was set just a little earlier this month. in fact, it blew that record out of the freakin' water! yeah, this month has been epic and today was sort of epic epic, so i just want to take the opportunity [again] to thank all of you for supporting this blog just by stopping by.

so there's balance for you. my sexy face is apparently the stuff of nightmares, but lots of people like hearing from me when i'm at a safe distance. seems about right.

i'll see YOU later! [when you're sleeping and vulnerable]
fyi, that is not actually a picture of my sexy face, but an image of an actual ad, which i found on the wonderful photoshop disasters.

Comments

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: getting cheeky

blush might just be the last thing that a beauty lover comes to appreciate, seeing as it can be a matter of slight degrees that separates one product from another, and it's most difficult to tell from just swatching a product how it's going to look. and it did take me a long time to appreciate that, despite loving my refined pallor and believing that my natural rosy flush was more than enough of a blush for me, blush is my friend. it softens, sculpts, perfects and, although you might not see it at first blush [yuk yuk yuk], it is something that subtly harmonises with the other colours in a look to make it "complete". yes, it's the most tricky thing to pull off when you're wearing something that doesn't mesh with your own undertones. but it's also the thing that can take a face from gloomy to glowing with a swish of the magic wand known as a makeup brush.

highlighters are an even trickier lot, since many of the more brilliant ones have a tendency to e…

making faces :: chanel's velvet realm

who doesn't love velvet? i know when i was younger, i used to, as george costanza longed to, "drape myself in velvet" and although that phase passed with time, i still think that the plush fabric has to be one of the high points of human achievement, up there with interior heating, advanced medicine and vodka. so to me, it's no surprise that one of the most hotly anticipated launches in the cosmetic world is chanel's new "rouge allure velvet" lipstick line, because even the name immediately makes me want to put it on my lips.

on a more concrete level, chanel describes these lipsticks as "luminous matte", which is sort of like the holy grail for lipstick lovers. we all want those intense, come-hither film noir lips, the sort where young men and sunlight are lost and never heard from again, but historically [including during the making of those films], applying a matte lipstick felt sort of like colouring in your lips with an old crayon that had…