Skip to main content

ruining your life, one blog post at a time

i've alluded to what i do for a living at various times, although out of respect for my employer's privacy and their right not to be embarrassed by being associated with me, i don't get too specific. however today, i feel the need to get a little more specific than usual.

part of my job involves reviewing materials written by scientists- mainly biochemists and naturopathic doctors- to "translate" them into marketing language or just to make sure that people who aren't scientifically inclined can follow along. i'd like to add that this is normally one of the most interesting parts of my jobs, because despite my general artiness, i've long had an interest in chemistry and particularly organic chemistry. there's something so perfect about how it works, each element constantly seeking balance... i think it might be because i'm a libra.

but today, while reviewing a presentation dealing with skin and the various remarkable things it does, i came across something that i really wish i hadn't. the skin is truly amazing in so many ways. even if you're not concerned about appearances, you should try to keep it in good shape, because you're way more dependent on its good health than you might realise. in fact, you should take a moment right now and give your skin a kiss to show it how much you appreciate how hard it's working. i say to do it now, because you might not want to once you're finished reading.

as i was perusing the presentation in front of me this morning, i came a across a notation about how skin is important in eliminating toxins in the body. we know that already, it clears out toxins by sweating. but in brackets next to this was written "= urine 10x diluted".

that's right. that healthy glow you're sporting when you go to the gym, that sexy sweat you work up with a loved one [or lusted one] in bed, that dampness that speaks of hard work... it's your body peeing all over itself. 

yes, it's diluted, but to put that in perspective, that means that wiping your brow is kind of like sticking your hand in the toilet before you flush.

so now that you can't un-know what i've just told you, i hope you have fun tonight as you attempt to plug every pore in your body with antiperspirant. [you'll probably die if you succeed, but you won't die covered in your own pee, if that makes you feel any better.]

remember that information is power; the power to be disgusted with everyone you see.

Comments

Martin Rouge said…
It don't bother me none, for two basic reasons: biologically, urine is sterile when it leaves the body; and spiritually, urine is a bodily fluid accepted for sacraments. So ironically, satanists pissing on a church altar are actually blessing it according to christian dogma.

Science!
I made peace with sweat after I began dancing Argentine Tango. It is next to impossible to dance in one crowded space, sometimes with little to no rest, so after a certain point you wrap your arm around your new partner only to discover their entire back has gotten a heavy layer of sweat. How much sweat you are in contact with depends on if you are dancing in an open embrace (anywhere from a full arm's length apart to half an arm's length) or close embrace (chests together, follower's whole arm touching the leader's back), which is much easier. Guys normally don't have much contact with mine because my lower back gets most sweaty and the guy's arm would be just beneath my shoulder blades. Yes it's gross but I prefer to have a strong connection that is easy to follow than avoid the ick.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

fun-raising

no, i am not dead, nor have i been lying incapacitated in a ditch somewhere. i've mostly been preparing for our imminent, epic move, which is actually not so terribly epic, because we found a place quite close to where we are now. in addition, i've been the beneficiary of an inordinately large amount of paying work, which does, sadly, take precedence over blogging, even though you know i'd always rather be with you.

indeed, with moving expenses and medical expenses looming on the horizon, more than can be accounted for even with the deepest cuts in the lipstick budget, dom and i recently did something that we've not done before: we asked for help. last week, we launched a fundraising campaign on go fund me. it can be difficult to admit that you need a helping hand, but what's been overwhelming for both of us is how quick to respond so many people we know have been once we asked. it's also shocking to see how quickly things added up.

most of all, though, the ex…

losers?

just a short time ago, i waxed prosaic about trump supporters who felt betrayed by their candidate pursuing in office the exact things that he said he would. short version: i have no sympathy.

today is a bit different. in the wake of america's bombing of a syrian air strip, in response to a chemical weapons attack by the syrian government, my facebook and twitter feeds were peppered with plaintive shades of "we believed you". these are the people who heard trump say that he wanted the united states to step back and focus on defending its own. indeed, trump did say such things, over and over; america cannot be the policeman of the world. even arch-liberal cynics like me had to admit that this was a refreshing argument to hear from someone outside the paul family, and, could easily have been turned into trump's greatest argument against hillary clinton. [he chose to go another way, which also worked.]

trump also said, repeatedly, that america needed to invest heavily …

long division

after the united states election last year, there were the usual calls for the country to unite behind the new president. that never happens anymore, because, since george w. bush scored a victory in 2004, having launched the country into a war in iraq for no reason, the people on the losing side of a presidential election have been pretty bloody angry about it. democrats hated bush 43. republicans really hated obama. democrats really hate trump.

it didn't help that trump didn't make the typical conciliatory gestures like including a couple of members of the opposite party in his cabinet, or encouraging his party to proceed slowly with contentious legislation. barack obama arguably wasted at least two and as many as six years of his tenure as president trying to play peacemaker before he felt sufficiently safe to just say "screw you guys" and start governing around the ridiculous congress he was forced to deal with. not-giving-a-shit obama was the best president in …