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the migraine that ate my brain

update! actual conversation that happened today ::

my boss : are you ok?
me : yes.
my boss :  what's that with your face?
me : i think i was trying to smile at you.

also, if you're functioning at below optimal, be careful not to get distracted by conversations that might be happening around you, or you'll end up sending an email that says

"these images are really just to help you peeing the bed"

in case it wasn't clear, that part in italics wasn't supposed to be in the email. i don't advise people on how to pee the bed for a living. although in my state, maybe that's what i should be doing.

*

yesterday, i had a migraine, which is always a weird experience for me, in that it can be almost any unpleasant sensation you can imagine. yesterday's was particularly painful, which mine generally aren't [hate me, it's ok] and has left me with what feels like a seasickness and an epic case of the stupids.

a couple of examples:

meant to say :: haha! my hubby sent me a picture of himself wearing a face mask. it's so cute that we're both conscious about our skin.

said :: my husband is at home giving himself a facial.

clearly, there is a meaning to that second one that i didn't intend. and, for what it's worth, no one wants to be the one who asks which meaning you were going for. in fact, no one wants anything to do with you if they think you might have been trying to start a conversation about someone getting spooge on their face.

meant to say :: i have coloured my hair, which is now black, having been light blonde the last time you saw me.

said :: you wouldn't recognise me- i'm black now.

and it doesn't help when you try to clarify by saying "i mean i went black over the weekend".

i'd also like to point out that i've had to rewrite this incredibly short post several times because my spelling, grammar and logic are not working today.

also, this makes me laugh way too much:




Comments

as long as you're here, why not read more?

dreamspeak

ok, so i've been lax about posting here. i apologise. there are reasons. i don't know if they'ree good reasons, but they include:


i've had a lot of work to do, which is nice because i'm a freelancer and things tend to slow down in the summer, so the more work i get now, the less i have to worry about later [in theory].i started watching the handmaid's tale. i was a little hesitant because i didn't actually like the novel very much; i found it heavy-handed and predictable. the series relies on the novel for about 80% of its first season plot but i nevertheless find it spellbinding. where i felt that the novel beat readers with its politics, the series does a better job of connecting with the humanity in the midst of politics. i'm dithering on starting season two because i am a serial binger and once i know damn well that starting the second season will soon consign me to the horrors of having to wait a week between episodes. i don't know if i can han…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…

making faces :: written in the stars [in lipstick]

are themed collections of things you like dangerous to you? once you've started down a rabbit hole, does it become a necessity to complete the set, lest you be left forever feeling like something is missing from your life? are you interested in lipsticks? then stay away from the astrology by bite collection/ series that is rolling out month by month throughout 2018.

the collection is pretty much exactly what you think it is: a lipstick a month inspired by the zodiac sign that begins in that month. a lot of people are interested in getting the one for their own sign. but that's not me. i'm interested in collecting the whole damn thing. it helps that bite's amuse bouche lipstick formula is one of the nicest on the market and that i've been weeding through my collection of lipsticks to find those that have started to "turn" [smell like crayons or grow dry] so that in theory, i have room to add more. [you have enough lipsticks for three people who wear lipsti…