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let me ruin something else for you forever

a few days ago, i was in a grocery store and the gentleman next to me asked me if brie was a goat cheese. i told him, no, it comes from cows, which garnered no reaction at all, leaving me to conclude that "is brie a goat cheese?" was actually a secret spy phrase and he was just trying to suss out if i were his contact. because the man just didn't seem that interested in cheese, despite starting an ultimately stunted conversation about it.

now, if he had been interested in pursuing the subject of cheese, the sad fact is i wouldn't have been able to contribute a lot aside from saying "i really like cheese", because despite the fact that i enjoy it, i'm no good at remembering which animal produces which cheese, other than being fairly certain that goat cheese comes from goats and knowing that brie comes from cows.

and the only reason i know that brie comes from cows is because when i was little, my father waited until he saw me eat a nice little wedge of brie, complete with rind, before announcing to me that the rind was made of dried cow poop.

now, my father had studied cooking and he loved food, so it never occurred to me that he might just be trying to traumatise me by making me believe i'd eaten cheese encrusted with dung and enjoyed it, although even at a young age, i was certainly aware that "trauma time" was one of his favourite activities to share with his child.

of course, after years of carefully spooning brie from the centre and ensuring that any part of it that touched the crust was thrown away immediately, i did find out that the rind is actually made of edible mould.

there aren't actually that many things that would make finding out your food is wrapped in mould a happy discovery, but apparently there are some. the greater point is that i never forgot that brie came from cows and now, you probably won't either.

you're welcome.


Comments

Aaron Fenwick said…
Mmmm edible mold *drools*
bunnyface said…
Blech! I love brie but I have only just gotten to the point where I can eat the skin...my mama used to get so mad at us for scooping out the delicious creamy inside and leaving her with the skin. I find it a lot easier to get down when covered in pastry and baked. You don't even need a cracker!
Kate MacDonald said…
Yes, certainly baking makes it better. But honestly, if you think about what cheese is, knowing that it's encased in mould isn't really the worst part. I try not to think about that.

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jihadvertising?

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am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

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