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i'm probably happier not knowing

i like to check what search terms lead to my blog, because, along with tracking which posts are the most popular, it's a good way of gauging what readers would like to see more of. some terms, of course, are just linked to a popular image that shows up high in google searches. others are actually indicative of what people are looking for. searches for dark coloured lipsticks- whether specific shades or in general- often lead here, which makes sense. searches for information on specific mental disorders often lead here, because of the currently dormant "mental health mondays" posts. i get that.

others are a little stranger, like "how do i apply lipstick from the tube?" or "where is my bipolar located?"

and others still are downright disturbing. you don't want to know how many searches for "anorexic porn" end up here. [specifically ending up on the "mental health mondays" piece about anorexia, which does have a nude, but clearly medical in nature, picture with it.]

and then there is this week's winner:

"rick santorum poop"

i'd just about recovered from the daily searches for either rick santorum or mitt romney gay porn, which, if it exists, would never, ever, ever, ever be posted here because i don't want to do that to you. or to myself. [although that's different than posting a picture of santo made from gay porn, which i have done. because that's just made of awesome. and penises.] but the idea that someone- correction- multiple someones- are out there searching for internet evidence of caca di santo is the sort of thing that makes me afraid to leave my house in the morning. do i know these people? have i shaken hands with them? what are they going to do with the results if their search is successful? what made them search for this in the first place?

so many questions. and there are probably answers to all of them. honest, disturbing answers.

Comments

as long as you're here, why not read more?

dreamspeak

ok, so i've been lax about posting here. i apologise. there are reasons. i don't know if they'ree good reasons, but they include:


i've had a lot of work to do, which is nice because i'm a freelancer and things tend to slow down in the summer, so the more work i get now, the less i have to worry about later [in theory].i started watching the handmaid's tale. i was a little hesitant because i didn't actually like the novel very much; i found it heavy-handed and predictable. the series relies on the novel for about 80% of its first season plot but i nevertheless find it spellbinding. where i felt that the novel beat readers with its politics, the series does a better job of connecting with the humanity in the midst of politics. i'm dithering on starting season two because i am a serial binger and once i know damn well that starting the second season will soon consign me to the horrors of having to wait a week between episodes. i don't know if i can han…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…

making faces :: written in the stars [in lipstick]

are themed collections of things you like dangerous to you? once you've started down a rabbit hole, does it become a necessity to complete the set, lest you be left forever feeling like something is missing from your life? are you interested in lipsticks? then stay away from the astrology by bite collection/ series that is rolling out month by month throughout 2018.

the collection is pretty much exactly what you think it is: a lipstick a month inspired by the zodiac sign that begins in that month. a lot of people are interested in getting the one for their own sign. but that's not me. i'm interested in collecting the whole damn thing. it helps that bite's amuse bouche lipstick formula is one of the nicest on the market and that i've been weeding through my collection of lipsticks to find those that have started to "turn" [smell like crayons or grow dry] so that in theory, i have room to add more. [you have enough lipsticks for three people who wear lipsti…