Skip to main content

dear america

hi, it's me. we've spoken about the 2012 election. i still bemoan the loss of "the republicans", my absolute favourite television show. i was able to enjoy it then because i was content in the belief that there was no chance in hell that you were actually going elect one of those clowns, but since i see that the scales have, improbably, started to tip in mitt romney's favour, i feel it's time we had a little talk about you, your leadership choices and the rest of the world.

now i don't mean to pick at one of your historical scabs, but do you remember that previous guy? the one who nobody but you ever liked? i'll admit, we were occasionally a little nasty about the way we let you know our opinions.



but we want you to understand: there were reasons we thought that way. that guy had a tendency to start wars in places he knew nothing about for reasons only he understood. he wasn't much interested in finance and so he figured he'd just let the money guys do what they wanted, which they did. that fucks our shit up, if you'll pardon my french. it raises our gas prices and kills our exports and slows our economy. not yours- or, rather, not just yours, because god knows you got hit bad as well- but ours. and we don't want that. we didn't want it then and we sure as hell aren't ready to go through it again.

and we don't seriously think that you want to go through it again.

you just need to remember how we all got to this point and you need to remember how the last guy just sort of let things unravel to the point where all the houses in your country were worth about $98 collectively. and you have to remember that no one on that guy's team seemed to be too worried that the bottom was about to fall out of the economy while they were spending your national rainy day fund on not tracking down osama bin laden.

yeah, the last four years have been less than stellar. things are far from being back where they were. if you concentrate, you can probably remember that amidst the chaos and jubilation that was election night 2008, the guy you elected mentioned about how long and hard the road ahead would be. or perhaps you remember his rather bleak inaugural address. the point is, he was actually right. not that he's been right about everything or lived up to the promise that we all thought he showed, but he was dead-on about that. the way back for all of us is going to be hard and you know what? we may never get back. or it may take a lot longer than it ever has before, because no one's going to start a world war to give one country's economy a shot in the arm. 

so yeah, we recognise that the current guy isn't necessarily what you imagined, but look at it this way: if you were starving and went to a place where you were offered the choice of a seared salmon filet or eating the contents of the septic tank, would you let your decision be guided by the fact that you didn't much like the smell of fish?

don't eat the septic tank, america. because your bad decisions make the rest of us sick, too.

Comments

Shadowy Lady said…
lol, I love your posts! I'm kinda worried about the elections to be honest. Just the thought of a republican in the office down south and a conservative in the office here totally disagrees with my liberal values. I think if that happens I shall move to the land down under :/
Kate MacDonald said…
It did occur to me that if our southern neighbours want a conservative so much, that we could just switch leaders and be done with it.

Personally, I suspect that the whole American election is a conspiracy on the part of comedians, who miss having a president that made writing jokes easy.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

dj kali & mr. dna @ casa del popolo post-punk night

last night was a blast! a big thank you to dj tyg for letting us guest star on her monthly night, because we had a great time. my set was a little more reminiscent of the sets that i used to do at katacombes [i.e., less prone to strange meanderings than what you normally hear at the caustic lounge]. i actually invited someone to the night with the promise "don't worry, it'll be normal". which also gives you an idea of what to expect at the caustic lounge. behold my marketing genius.

mr. dna started off putting the "punk" into the night [which i think technically means i was responsible for the post, which doesn't sound quite so exciting]. i'd say that he definitely had the edge in the bouncy energy department.

many thanks to those who stopped in throughout the night to share in the tunes, the booze and the remarkably tasty nachos and a special thank you to the ska boss who stuck it out until the end of the night and gave our weary bones a ride home…

mental health mondays :: the plane truth

here we go again. it's sad enough to hear that nearly a hundred and fifty people died at the hands of an individual unwisely entrusted with a a potential missile, but now we get to observe the media circling and waiting for confirmation that the man who may have murdered them had a mental illness. and what a grotesque spectacle it is, because it basically consists of nothing but ominous insinuations that this co-pilot was depressed and so he flew a plane into a mountain, without trying to provide any larger context about the disorder or the millions of people who suffer from it.

to be clear, i don't have a problem with his apparent record of depression being brought up as a possible explanation for what happened. it's possible that there is a link. but smashing a plane full of innocent people into a mountain is not the act of someone who is merely depressed. there is a whole other level of illness going on there and, with the information we have thus far, it seems disturbi…

eat the cup 2018, part seven :: oh, lionheart

it all seemed so magical: england's fresh-faced youngsters marching all the way through to a semi-final for the first time since 1990. everywhere, the delirious chants of "it's coming home". and then, deep into added time, the sad realization: it's not coming home. oh england, my lionheart.

now, if we're being really strict about things, my scottish ancestors would probably disown me for supporting England, because those are the bastards who drove them off their land and sent them packing to this country that's too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. and indeed, shops in scotland have sold through their entire stock of croatian jerseys, as the natives rallied behind england's opponents in the semi-final. however, a few generations before they were starved and hounded from the lands they'd occupied for centuries, my particular brand of scottish ancestors would have encouraged me to support england [assuming that national football had even…