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...and this is why i shouldn't be allowed in public, ever

i spent last weekend in toronto for work reasons, which included an evening dinner and cruise with a hundred or so customers of the company i work for. 

i've never quite understood why employers put me in places where i could conceivably interact with their customers. perhaps they're not quite aware of exactly how socially clueless i am. here's an example, which happened in the presence of a couple of coworkers and a supplier who was probably wondering why he'd come all the way over from europe to be confronted with someone who'd evidently escaped from a mental hospital. 

coworker :: you have an empty plate with you? 

me :: i'm never sure what to do with these things. i don't know if there's a specific place to put them, or if i can just leave them wherever i feel like it. 

coworker :: i think that you can just put it wherever. 

me [leaving plate on table] :: yeah, that seems like a good way to get rid of things. just leave them lying around and hope that someone else takes care of it. 

coworker :: as long as you're not doing that with small children. 

me :: i thought that was what you were supposed to do with them. was that wrong?

coworker [laughing] :: how many children do you have anyway? 

me [straight-faced]:: none- anymore. 

i don't think i'll be invited on any more outings.

Comments

Néphèle said…
Hilllllllllarious dialogue, witty as always, cracked me up! :)
Kate MacDonald said…
Glad you enjoyed it. Sadly (for my employers more than anyone), every word is true.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

long suffering

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so i tried writing something about just a part of it: the media coverage or the entertainment industry or the politicians or …

making faces :: getting cheeky

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