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spam of the week :: writers' strike?

i got three spam messages this week that looked like this:


that's it. well, there's a web site link, but that really doesn't interest me. 

i'd like to think that there's a code, but i sort of doubt it. so it looks to me like spammers are just getting extremely lazy, since they can't even be bothered to make up some hilariously misspelled text about how they were the business partner of some crazy deposed dead tyrant and need me to babysit their gold bullion for a while. but then i noticed...

all the codes in the different spam messages are different. completely different. why would anyone bother with that? do they think that there are people who are going to be fooled into following the link because they haven't yet received that specific code of letters and numbers? "well the first five i knew were ridiculous, but then i saw numbers that almost matched my birthday on line three and i figured this one was special."

or perhaps they're doing all these different combinations to be mysterious. like they suddenly want to seem all serious now that we've figured out that they aren't the crown prince of nigeria. maybe they think that if they send something strange and inscrutable that we'll stop posting these messages and making fun of them, in which case, they need to be told that no one gets mocked as viciously as people who are difficult to understand. 

but in the interests of having fun, here's my pre-crafted equally-spammy response:

thank you for your message. understand that we cannot stop the mission at this time. we will take measures to try to ensure your safety, but you must always be ready to take ultimate responsibility.  watch your local newspapers tomorrow for crucial developments
you may find what you are looking for in your car. no further communication can take place through this channel. certain elements may have already been compromised.
to the greater glory! w.a.s.t.e. 

i figure that if there is anything even resembling a human being involved in this process, that should be enough to make them a little paranoid. at the very least, it should get their creative juices flowing again.


as long as you're here, why not read more?

making faces :: soft touch

ah winter, how my lips hate you. it's too bad, really, because the rest of me likes winter, down to about -12 or so. but there's no arguing that i get dried out. nuxe rĂªve de miel is my super best friend at this time of year, even more so than otherwise. [i gave bite's agave lip mask a try only to find out i'm allergic to something in it.] but our [still] new apartment is somewhat drier than the old one [electric vs hot water heating], which meant that, for a long stretch, virtually every kind of lipstick was uncomfortable. the horror. [i wrote a post a while back about the formulas that are friendliest to chapped lips.]

faced with this dilemma, i decided to try something not exactly new, but [for me], out of the ordinary: being a gloss girl. now, i don't mind glosses. i buy them from time to time, and i used to buy more until i discovered that i just wasn't using them near enough to justify the continued purchases. my issues with glosses are that they feather…


i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:

am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: a lip for all seasons [summer edition]

this may seem like an odd time to think about summer, but not to think about coolness. it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea that summer is considered "cool" in colour analysis terms and, in my opinion, reads as the coolest of the cool, because everything in it is touched with the same chilly grey. winter may have the coldest colours, but its palette is so vivid that it distracts the eye. everything in summer is fresh and misty, like the morning sky before the sun breaks through. in my original post on the season, i compared it to monet's paintings of waterlilies at his garden in giverny and, if i do say so, i think that's an apt characterisation.

finding lip colours touched with summer grey and blue is, as you might expect, kind of tricky. the cosmetic world seems obsessed with bringing warmth, which doesn't recognise that some complexions don't support it well. [also, different complexions support different kinds of warmth, but that's another…