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assimilate this, motherfuckers
as many of you know, i love my spam. not the imitation foodstuff, you realise, but the emails i end up getting for things like imitation watches, cheap drugs and sex videos featuring celebrities about whom i couldn't care less. but this one- copied and pasted, word for word, elevates the spam email to a sort of art form. there was a link provided in the email promising something called "free ciolis", but honestly, who cares? the text is where the action is at. [btw, dom mentioned that if you read this in a growly voice, it sounds exactly like a skinny puppy lyric. he's right.]



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canon victuals mysterious caesar daily chestnuts stirrups egabe secure witnesses dangerous hither caponets deeply deprevit sell care disquiet fesse thought second jousseaume reached belike rhizotome hangs those whereupon side breast came patience having launched past acooling famous dixi used without undertakings mace whole figure dress casego jaws dough giving game higher century asked.
words coccaie nouvelles delivered stayed mondam eleven nevertheless equal toil messalina days mankind kitlings followeth wrung inspection god achilles pecus perche coughing sound surrounded glad loof drinking reason magdalene blood god dinner nailed drooping back sempiternally heart eous bully family virtue friends air invincible drivelling trust.
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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

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