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i am better than dick cheney

through some unfortunate set of circumstances, i ended up watching fox news sunday last week, where i got to see former vice president dick cheney talking about his new memoir. as far as i can tell, the sole purpose of this book is so that he can prove how aptly named he is. first of all, the man himself has made a big deal of just how bitchy some of it is, promising that "heads will explode" [his own, one hopes -ed.] over the revelations, which really seem to amount to a sort of juvenile mocking of the people in the bush administration who aren't almost universally reviled [yet]. second, the man seems to have had no purpose in writing a book other than wanting to keep up with those from the administration who already had written books because, you know, you'd never want to be the one who takes the opportunity to shut the hell up.

seriously, who would you rather?
as a[n unsuccessful] writer, it bothers me that people like this have automatic access to big publishers and budgets. it bothers me a lot more because this is a guy who should be facing charges, not being given a pulpit. the excerpts i've read from the book tell me that it is... a book, with words arranged into sentences with punctuation more or less correctly placed. i'm sure it will sell many more copies than i'll ever sell of anything and that it took him about as much time to write it as this self-serving blog post is taking me.

there are enough other things i want to read that i doubt i'll ever get around to reading through the dick-cronomicon, but i'm pretty sure it ends with him being fantastically wealthy and laughing at torture victims from a safe distance.

if you too would like to read something other than dick cheney, please feel free to check out the unfolding serial "a definable moment in time", which is updated tuesdays and saturdays. since blogger updated its interface, the formatting of pages has become much easier, which means that the page now has at least 40% less suck. at some point, i'll get around to re-formatting the whole thing, but for now, all the new installments are easy to read.

you can also check out other things i've written in past issues of paraphilia magazine. i have short stories in issues 8, 10 and 11.

or you could order yourself a copy of "interference" a collection of short stories published in 2009.

Comments

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oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

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