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who is beatriz coca?

i wish i could answer that question for you. in fact, if anyone were able to answer that question, it would be me, because beatriz makes an appearance one pages 184-185 of "a definable moment in time", aka the story i've been publishing in serial form here on the blog. [see "let me tell you a story", above right. and no, we're nowhere near pages 184-185 yet, but i passed them long ago in writing terms.]

i know that there was a reason that i included her and a reason why i gave her a fairly distinctive name [at least for a story largely about white north americans and europeans] and i even have a hint as to how she's supposed to tie into the story. i'm reasonably sure she was an excellent clap of thunder in the midst of a brainstorm. there's just one problem.

i can't remember who she is anymore.

because of the relative complexity of the story for "a.d.m.i.t." [best. acronym. ever.] and the fact that it was clear from the beginning that it was going to take me a long time to finish it, plus the fact that i'm coming up with a lot of new details as i go along, i forced myself to keep very good notes on everything that's supposed to happen in the story because, just in case it appears otherwise, almost everything is in there for a very specific reason.

unfortunately, when i got caught up in writing about beatriz, may she rest in peace [actually *minor spoiler alert* in pieces, but we'll get there eventually], i was excited that i'd come up with a new way in which to enrich the plot. i was so excited that i guess i figured that there was no way i wouldn't remember such awesome and important ideas and i never bothered to update my notes. now i'm stuck with a name and a couple of sparse details of what happened to her, but i'm not sure at what point her true importance is to be revealed.

i have to say that part of me does appreciate the irony of the fact that i'm having this crisis over a story in which the central character has fairly severe memory problems and has to keep copious notes about who she meets, what she's been doing and everything else in her life. but more of me is just mortified that i was silly enough to deviate from the established path without leaving myself a few bread crumbs to find my way home again.

let this be a lesson to all of you who have similar creative pursuits: write things down. always. if you decide to drop your set plan or go off in another direction that's fine, because it's your business. however, if you don't bother to keep track of your creative genius, you'll sooner or later be kept up all night, haunted by the realisation that you are not only your own greatest critic, but your own biggest road-block.

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dreamspeak

ok, so i've been lax about posting here. i apologise. there are reasons. i don't know if they'ree good reasons, but they include:


i've had a lot of work to do, which is nice because i'm a freelancer and things tend to slow down in the summer, so the more work i get now, the less i have to worry about later [in theory].i started watching the handmaid's tale. i was a little hesitant because i didn't actually like the novel very much; i found it heavy-handed and predictable. the series relies on the novel for about 80% of its first season plot but i nevertheless find it spellbinding. where i felt that the novel beat readers with its politics, the series does a better job of connecting with the humanity in the midst of politics. i'm dithering on starting season two because i am a serial binger and once i know damn well that starting the second season will soon consign me to the horrors of having to wait a week between episodes. i don't know if i can han…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

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dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

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making faces :: written in the stars [in lipstick]

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