Skip to main content

like a gauntlet thrown at my very feet


ok, we've all heard the jokes about women and shoes. it's one of the "girliest" vices a woman can have. long ago, around the time that my mother started calling me "imelda" in high school, i learned to shrug off the mockery. the argument seems to be that they're frivolous (unlike 50" television screens) or that they're a waste of money (unlike gambling or lotteries) or that there's no way they could all have a practical use (unlike, say, well, almost anything we consciously choose to do). i am a woman with a very large shoe collection and dammit, i'm proud.

i never suspected i was the only one who felt this, but i did think that i was one of the few who could come up with cogent arguments as to why the process of self-indulgence is important, that allowing oneself to have things that can be enjoyed on a purely sensual level is an important part of the brain's reward system and that suppressing this urge will pervert it and make it come out in other ways (like just about every other urge we try to suppress).

but it's been called to my attention that one woman is making a very practical case as to why she has so many shoes: because she wears them all.

and she's chosen to document this blog style on elie's shoes.

well gee, i never thought about doing a photo essay as justification. how ludicrously simple. disprove the argument that my little darlings are impractical by showing me making practical use of them.

now all of a sudden, my high-toned arguments sound a lot like that super-space aged pen that the americans developed, the one that could write upside down, so the astronauts could use it in zero gravity. after investing millions of dollars, they found out that the russians used a pencil.

Comments

Martin Rouge said…
Darling, the reason you need so many different shoes is that you need to accessorize the pedestals you need to stand on. If they dont get that, then they dont understand the concept of divinity :D

as long as you're here, why not read more?

presidenting is hard :: nato

oh donald, i've been slacking on my promise to help you out with your duties as president. [yes, you may take a moment to giggle at the word "duties". but make it quick.]

it's not because i think you don't need the support; you are every bit as ignorant and inept as i'd feared/ expected and the erstwhile presence of "adults in the room" hasn't made you any better. it's just as well that you've dispatched of them. you weren't listening to what they said 95% of the time and on those few occasions when you did try to listen, you didn't understand what they were saying. increasingly, we're getting to see you for the complete intellectual non-entity you are and to see how someone who knows nothing about history, geography, culture or military tactics addresses the challenges of foreign policy.

the latest development on that front is that i've heard that you're planning on leaving nato. we all know that you've never be…

making faces :: written in the stars, in lipstick [part three]

and lo the earth has completed another journey 'round the sun, passing through all of the signs of the zodiac. well, in lipstick terms, it won't have completed its journey until later this month when it moves from capricorn to aquarius, which is where bite beauty chose to start its turn of the wheel last year. i still feel a little unnerved that they followed the calendar rather than the astrological year [which would have meant starting their astrology collection in march with the sign of aries] but i suspect that that's because their financials also follow the calendar.

after some truly infuriating times early in the calendar and collection year, bite was able to get their inventory issues sorted, which means that all four of the lipsticks reviewed here are still available through bite's website, sephora, or both. hallelujah.

i have some thoughts on the overall collection that i'll share afterwards, but let's just get started on the final four shades of the …

making faces :: written in the stars, in lipstick [part two]

it's the middle of september already? i'm not prepared for that? i mean, i am prepared for it because the heat this summer has been murder on me and i've been begging for a reprieve for months but i'm still bowled over by the speed at which time passes. this year, i've been measuring time through the launches of bite beauty's astrology collection, which arrives like the full moon once a month. [the full moon arrives every four weeks, which is less than any month except february -ed.] earlier this year, i took a look at the first four launches of the collection and already it's time to catch up with four more.

the most important thing for you to know is that after several months of problems, bite and sephora appear to have sorted out their inventory planning. for the last several releases, information has been clear and reliable as to when and where each lipstick will be available [pre-orders taken for a couple of days on bite's own website and a general…