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everything's bigger in texas

i thought i'd heard it all.

airlines are becoming increasingly alarmed about overweight passengers, as the increase in average weight is throwing off their fuel usage calculations and potentially endangering lives by weighing the plane down with a greater load than it was intended to carry.

funeral homes are running into problems because super-sized, uh, customers are not fitting within the confines of the usual repositories.

but this story from houston may take the cake (which could be part of the problem).

there is nothing that i am going to say that will add any meaningful insights into our morbid and obsessive relationship with consumption. while i have theories as to why this is becoming so prevalent, they really aren't groundbreaking.

still, stories like this, with their hints of the tragic and the absurd, never fail to fascinate and appall me. as someone who's had some pretty up-close experiences with various types of eating disorders, i know that food has moved well beyond its role as necessary sustenance and has become emblematic of many other things.

Comments

Martin said…
*Wheeze wheeze* so doc, *wheeze* what's wrong with me? *Pants wheezes*

Well, the problem is simple: you're fat. In fact, you're dying from it. Us medical professional call it with the rather technical morbidly obese.

*wheeze wheeze* So is there a *wheeze wheeze* pill I can take? *Wheeze*

*Blink blink* Well as a matter of fact, *reaches into his medicine cabinet and takes out a small container adorned with a death's head* there is this rather radical treatment *hands the patient a pill* you only need to take one, and then you're cured!

*WHEEZE wheeze* Really doc? Thanks! *wheeze*

Don't mention it. Now make sure that when you take it, that you're not driving or doing anything requiring your attention, okay?

*wheeze* is it going to *wheeze* make me sleepy? *wheeze*

Yyyyyeeesss, you could say that. In fact, I'd recommend that you take it just before you go to bed. By the morning, you'll be fine.

*Wheeze* I'll do that, thanks! *closes door*

Another life saved, just another day, doing my job *replaces the bottle of cyanide pill in the cabinet.*

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

eat the pain away?

nearly twenty years ago, an emergency room doctor took a look at the crushing muscle tension i was experiencing [they were clenched enough that a doctor at my regular clinic couldn't get a reflex reaction on my left side and thought i might be having a stroke] and told me she believed that i had fibromyalgia. a couple of weeks later, i went to see a family doctor that a coworker had recommended to me. when i told him what the other doctor had said, he snapped that i was being ridiculous, because, if i'd had fibromyalgia, "i wouldn't be able to move". after i moved to toronto, i got a new family doctor and told her what the other doctors had said. she said that she couldn't be sure, but it was better just to deal with any symptoms i had one at a time. then i came back to montreal and got a new family doctor, who didn't really buy into the whole idea of fibromyalgia and said there was no way to do any definitive test anyway. that doctor passed away, and my …

long suffering

i've been meaning to write this post for a while, but, every time i get started, something happens that makes me rethink portions of it, to add or subtract or consider a different way of looking at things. the post was originally going to be my take on a #metoo statement, but i ended up making that post on my personal facebook page. [it's not that i don't love you all, but there are a few things i'm not comfortable putting in the entirely public sphere.] but beyond joining the #metoo juggernaut, i wanted to write something about the wave of sexual assault revelations that continues to swell over the north american media landscape that wasn't about me. then i realised that that was a little more complicated than just writing "so, lotta sex rapes happenin' these days, ain't there?" or whatever it was that i was going to say.

so i tried writing something about just a part of it: the media coverage or the entertainment industry or the politicians or …