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useless technology update

no matter how much skill you may think the human brain possesses, most of the time, it is only going to be used to invent crap.

latest case in point is canadian, unfortunately... a camera that tracks eyeball movement from passersby in the vicinity of billboard, so that advertisers can test their efficacy and, one assumes, take steps to make their billboards more attractive (in the sense that they will attract more eyeballs, not in the sense that they look any better).

i'm going to state a fact that i would have believed to be obvious, but which has apparently escaped the brain trust at queen's university: most people passing billboards are driving CARS. we don't need to design better billboards to take their eyes off the road, because most of them are not that safe behind the wheel to begin with. i have to deal with this crowd, who are apparently convinced that they can talk on their cell phones and drink their starbucks while the car drives itself and, trust me, it's bad enough already.

i forgive some stupid technological advances because they have legitimate and helpful uses. but the eye-cam seems to have no redeeming value whatsoever. it's sole purpose is to deliver information to advertisers, so that they can make more calculated decisions on how to distract us with their wares. bravo.

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: pop quiz

those of you who are friends of mine on facebook [that might look a little weird to those of you seeing this post on facebook] may have seen my weekly "sunday quiz time", where i just ask random questions in the name of stimulating conversation. after doing that this week, i ended up taking a very wide variety of quizzes on mental floss, which made me a little smug about my knowledge of geography and a little rattled about my knowledge of the finer points of grammar. [i want to say, in my defense, that the one grammar quiz i found was really f**king hard. is that last sentence grammatically correct? i don't know. i have no confidence in my grammar anymore.]

i got so into answering questions about just about anything that i thought it might be fun to apply that format to mental health mondays. i've already done links to quizzes about various mental disorders and how to tell if you have them [i think it turned out i had all of them], but i wanted to do a special set of…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…