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slow company

it seems like once again, quebecers and maritimers have it right.

after all, and i admit that i'm indulging in a little hypocrisy here, what on earth is the benefit to killing yourself week in, week out slaving all your life away at a job? for most of us, myself included, we could drop dead and no one we work with would notice anything except that there was an office available. hell, in the maritimes, you're likely to have a job swept out from under you at a moment's notice, with no extra compensation, so you'd better cultivate either strong outside-of-work relationships or a serious drinking habit if you're going to pull through.

i'm amused to know that 44 hours is considered a "very long" work week, since it's been several years since i've worked less than that on an average week, but i like to think that i've improved since the times when working 44 hours would have been something i considered a vacation week. my point in mentioning that is that i know what of i speak. for all the time that i've invested in any job, no matter how much or how little, i've basically gotten the same thing out of it: a pay cheque (or a direct deposit, but, you know, same difference). i've picked up some skills, but i've discovered that the amount that i learn is inexplicably inversely proportional to the number of hours that i'm putting in. perhaps it's because you tend to learn things when you're new, when there's nothing to keep you in the office for long hours.

fact is, we'd all be better off putting more time and effort into family, friends, intellectual and creative pursuits. the proof of that is that quebecers are the most satisfied with their current work-life balance. only the people who are already working longer hours harbour the jejeune belief that they would be happier if they were able to work and earn more. it doesn't work like that.

that's not to say, of course, that money can't by some remarkable substitutes for happiness and we all need a certain amount to keep us happy, but the people i know who work the longest hours are generally among the most miserable and depressed. all the money in the world doesn't buy back the experiences you miss by shutting yourself off from the world at a job.

so if you're reading this from quebec or the maritimes, sit back and crack open a beer. feel superior. if you're reading this from central or western canada (or from the usa), you'd better close your browser, because we all know you're still at work and big brother is probably monitoring your internet usage.

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: pop quiz

those of you who are friends of mine on facebook [that might look a little weird to those of you seeing this post on facebook] may have seen my weekly "sunday quiz time", where i just ask random questions in the name of stimulating conversation. after doing that this week, i ended up taking a very wide variety of quizzes on mental floss, which made me a little smug about my knowledge of geography and a little rattled about my knowledge of the finer points of grammar. [i want to say, in my defense, that the one grammar quiz i found was really f**king hard. is that last sentence grammatically correct? i don't know. i have no confidence in my grammar anymore.]

i got so into answering questions about just about anything that i thought it might be fun to apply that format to mental health mondays. i've already done links to quizzes about various mental disorders and how to tell if you have them [i think it turned out i had all of them], but i wanted to do a special set of…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…