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it was only a matter of time

so, after sixteen years with a lead foot and an unblemished driving record, i finally got my first ever speeding ticket this morning. apparently, i was doing a little over 20km/h above the speed limit and, while i never saw a radar gun or anything, i'm willing to accept that it was a definite possibility.

the irony is that i was coming off a turn and was in the process of accelerating. in another four blocks, i might have been looking at a truly nasty ticket. i didn't bother to tell the humourless lady giving me the ticket that, though.

a couple of people have said i should fight this, but i'm figuring that the law of averages is that i was bound to get a speeding ticket eventually and it's a minor miracle it hasn't happened before. i'm also aware, while i know i'm a pretty safe driver (don't run yellow lights, don't talk on the cell phone, always check my blind spots), there are a lot more people killed in ontario every year in car accidents than there are by, say, guns.

so tax payers of ontario, rejoice. your police force is keeping you safe from drivers like me, which is exactly what they should be doing. i'll have to hold off on any visits to fluevog for a short spell...

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…