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recovery mode

for all those of you who, like me, were contemplating suicide as a viable option to having to sit through another christmas carol (my own personal nadir this season came with the carpenters' version of "have yourself a merry little christmas"), here is a little playlist which, listened to as a collection, will get your humbug working and have you ready to face the world again.

boyd rice\ hatesville:: after having to listen to weeks of phony warmth and maudlin sentimentality, it's nice to give equal time to the opposition. here's someone who wants you to know that it's ok to want to carve up your annoying druncle and serve him for dinner.

foetus\ ramrod:: hell yeah! puts your fists in the air and sing along to the soundtrack to everyone's trapped-among-the-rednecks nightmare. wallow in your own superiority, a completely un-christmaslike thing to do.

xiu xiu\ clowne towne:: what your friends really think of you. a sugar-coated cynanide pill from one of my favourite recent discoveries.

mick harris + martyn bates\ murder ballads:: this is not a track, but a set of three albums. any one of the tracks will do just as well as any other, since they do sound a wee bit the same. once upon a time, christmas was a season to tell ghost stories as well as to exchange crap you'll be pawning off at the office secret santa next year. revive the bloodcurdling tradition...

sol invictus\ kneel to the cross:: the parts of church history pope benedict probably won't be mentioning in any of his feel-good speeches.

haus arafna\ last dream of jesus:: it does actually sound like what would be going through your head if you were nailed to something.

sleep chamber\ that's romance:: it is impossible to simultaneously hold the thoughts of christmas and sadomasochism in your mind for longer than eight seconds without suffering permanent brain damage. don't even try. crank this one up and banish the spirits of christmas past, present and future until you feel comfortable inviting them back for a little visit.

whitehouse\ my cock's on fire:: he ain't talking about burning christmas dinner, baby.

peter murphy + tom waits\ christmas sucks:: self-explanatory

repeat as necessary until you start smiling again. you are never as far away from hearing next year's christmas carol marathon as you are right now.

Comments

Arvo said…
Looks good to me. I've posted a version of the 12 days of Christmas backwards, in hopes that it will funtion as an overdubbing of the crap that I'm forced to hear.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

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