Skip to main content

recovery mode

for all those of you who, like me, were contemplating suicide as a viable option to having to sit through another christmas carol (my own personal nadir this season came with the carpenters' version of "have yourself a merry little christmas"), here is a little playlist which, listened to as a collection, will get your humbug working and have you ready to face the world again.

boyd rice\ hatesville:: after having to listen to weeks of phony warmth and maudlin sentimentality, it's nice to give equal time to the opposition. here's someone who wants you to know that it's ok to want to carve up your annoying druncle and serve him for dinner.

foetus\ ramrod:: hell yeah! puts your fists in the air and sing along to the soundtrack to everyone's trapped-among-the-rednecks nightmare. wallow in your own superiority, a completely un-christmaslike thing to do.

xiu xiu\ clowne towne:: what your friends really think of you. a sugar-coated cynanide pill from one of my favourite recent discoveries.

mick harris + martyn bates\ murder ballads:: this is not a track, but a set of three albums. any one of the tracks will do just as well as any other, since they do sound a wee bit the same. once upon a time, christmas was a season to tell ghost stories as well as to exchange crap you'll be pawning off at the office secret santa next year. revive the bloodcurdling tradition...

sol invictus\ kneel to the cross:: the parts of church history pope benedict probably won't be mentioning in any of his feel-good speeches.

haus arafna\ last dream of jesus:: it does actually sound like what would be going through your head if you were nailed to something.

sleep chamber\ that's romance:: it is impossible to simultaneously hold the thoughts of christmas and sadomasochism in your mind for longer than eight seconds without suffering permanent brain damage. don't even try. crank this one up and banish the spirits of christmas past, present and future until you feel comfortable inviting them back for a little visit.

whitehouse\ my cock's on fire:: he ain't talking about burning christmas dinner, baby.

peter murphy + tom waits\ christmas sucks:: self-explanatory

repeat as necessary until you start smiling again. you are never as far away from hearing next year's christmas carol marathon as you are right now.

Comments

Arvo said…
Looks good to me. I've posted a version of the 12 days of Christmas backwards, in hopes that it will funtion as an overdubbing of the crap that I'm forced to hear.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

the world at war?

in my semi-smug but genuinely curious way, i posted a question on my facebook page earlier: how much of the world has to be at war before it counts as world war iii?



the first response i got raised the very legitimate point that this is the sort of question that gets answered by historians, once the haze of the present has faded. the other important factor is that people don't just declare war on each other the way that they used to. major powers entered both the of the world wars with the blessings of their own parliaments, whereas conflicts since world war ii have happened in coded language, sometimes circumventing the political process in the interests of expediency. president reagan never declared war on the nicaraguan government in the eighties, for example, but the united states was clearly in a state of armed conflict, even if most of the arms were being carried by their proxies, the contras.

whether or not we are living in a world at war is a tricky question. despite what…

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

diet diary, part 2

so the battle with the bulge continues. i'm actually becoming used to the pace, although for some reason my stomach still seems to think it needs far more food than it actually does.

week days, when eating is more of a functional than a festive activity, are fairly easy to cope with. weekends are a challenge, especially living in a city that has as many good restaurants as toronto. i'm not restricting myself to the home, but i am finding that i have to pay careul attention when i go out. last night, i overindulged on injera atthe ethiopian house. injera (the soft, moist, spongy bread that serves as food and cutlery in ethiopian cuisine) makes food fun by forcing you to eat with your fingers. it's hard to exercise restraint in such conditions.

when i first moved to toronto, i was expecting to find it much as i remembered it from years ago- with a dearth of good eating places. apparently, things have changed. there are great places to eat just about every kind of food you&…