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it's going to be one of those weeks

"like a lot of you, i hate. but i hate with style and creativity." -henry rollins

ok, i'm not exactly sure what got me under such a black cloud today, but it's reached these epic proportions. it's like anyone who comes anywhere near me becomes the enemy. be happy you're viewing this over the internet, where i can't get you.

the roots of some of this go back to september. i was on a business trip and this had required me to bring a considerable amount of baggage (the physical, not the emotional kind) in the form of samples, etc. i ended up traveling with three bags that were really heavy. my strongest memory of this trip is me, struggling to get all of these bags off the carousel and onto a cart while the two men i was traveling with stood some distance off, drank coffee and giggled at the spectacle i was creating.

yesterday, i got ot see the flip side of my situation. a woman of my acquaintance, had managed to convince the director of her department to come and pick her up in at the airport because she was too freaked out by business travel to risk taking a ten-minute cab ride on her own. apparently, this is completely acceptable behaviour in a thirty-five year old woman. i should add that this woman has a case history of freaking out and running crying to whatever man is in a position of authority and getting sympathy for it.

i wouldn't have a problem with this scenario if i could point to some tangible benefit i was getting from trying to maintain some sort of composure and independence. but the fact is, the men around me, particularly those i do or have worked with, are a lot more likely to tease me about my shoe fetish than to ask my opinion on a matter of substance. i'm still treated like a bimbo, i just don't get the perks.

this used to bother me less, back when i was younger, because when you're young, you don't expect that anyone takes you seriously as a rule (and young women always get the bimbo perks anyway). now that i'm old and gnarled and bitter, it bugs me. it bugs me a lot when i think about it, which is with increasing frequency.

if anyone's looking for me, i'll be wallowing in the vat of self-pity i've had built in my apartment.

Comments

I dont know how to say this any better than by proclaiming, now and for all eternity that you are a smart beautiful and particularly gifted, and that if there was ever one I could count on to have a debate of substance in this wonderland of mediocity, its definately you to whom I'd turn.
And if anyone would care to dispute any of these irrevocable truths, well, they can stand in line, single-filed please, so that I can, and with much gusto, kick them in the gonnads.
Feeling lucky, punk? Well, are you?

as long as you're here, why not read more?

the world at war?

in my semi-smug but genuinely curious way, i posted a question on my facebook page earlier: how much of the world has to be at war before it counts as world war iii?



the first response i got raised the very legitimate point that this is the sort of question that gets answered by historians, once the haze of the present has faded. the other important factor is that people don't just declare war on each other the way that they used to. major powers entered both the of the world wars with the blessings of their own parliaments, whereas conflicts since world war ii have happened in coded language, sometimes circumventing the political process in the interests of expediency. president reagan never declared war on the nicaraguan government in the eighties, for example, but the united states was clearly in a state of armed conflict, even if most of the arms were being carried by their proxies, the contras.

whether or not we are living in a world at war is a tricky question. despite what…

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

diet diary, part 2

so the battle with the bulge continues. i'm actually becoming used to the pace, although for some reason my stomach still seems to think it needs far more food than it actually does.

week days, when eating is more of a functional than a festive activity, are fairly easy to cope with. weekends are a challenge, especially living in a city that has as many good restaurants as toronto. i'm not restricting myself to the home, but i am finding that i have to pay careul attention when i go out. last night, i overindulged on injera atthe ethiopian house. injera (the soft, moist, spongy bread that serves as food and cutlery in ethiopian cuisine) makes food fun by forcing you to eat with your fingers. it's hard to exercise restraint in such conditions.

when i first moved to toronto, i was expecting to find it much as i remembered it from years ago- with a dearth of good eating places. apparently, things have changed. there are great places to eat just about every kind of food you&…