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say your prayers every night before bed


Our spaghetti
Who art in the colander
Hallowed be thy sauce
Thy serving come
Thy strands be wrung
On forks as they are on spoons
Give us this day our daily meatball
And forgive us our starchiness
As we forgive those who are starchy against us
And lead us not into Kraft parmessan
But deliver us from Chef Boy Ardee
For thine is the garlic
And the onion and the bay leaves
For ever and ever.
Ramen

thanks to james for that one

**for those of you who are unaware, last night's round of elections dealt a serious blow to the campaign to teach the theories of the flying spaghetti monster's creation of the world in american public schools. voters in pittsburgh defeated their school board, who wanted to force teachers to include the theory of intelligent design as an option equivalent to evolution and replaced them with candidates who do not favour its inclusion in school curriculum.

Comments

I suppose, given your vehement, sarcastic dismissal of 'intelligent design' (whatever that is, I don't read the news), that you have a counter theory for how the world comes to be? I'm interested to hear.

-best,
nic.
flora_mundi said…
my problem with teaching intelligent design (in a nutshell, the theory that the universe is too complicated to have evolved from a random series of events and shows the hallmarks of the interference of a larger intelligent presence as the designer) being taught as equivalent to the theory of evolution is twofold:

1. it is presented as a scientific equivalent- the science behind it is pretty specious

2. it misses the spiritual point- believing in creationism should not involve the need to prove it as science. having faith in something means that you believe it because you feel it is true without empirical proof.
qed said…
I got that one via some other blog, I didn't write it myself - might want to clear that up. -J.
The funny thing is that whenever I hear about "intelligent design" I keep thinking of space aliens, not some godhead...

I guess I just want to believe.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: pop quiz

those of you who are friends of mine on facebook [that might look a little weird to those of you seeing this post on facebook] may have seen my weekly "sunday quiz time", where i just ask random questions in the name of stimulating conversation. after doing that this week, i ended up taking a very wide variety of quizzes on mental floss, which made me a little smug about my knowledge of geography and a little rattled about my knowledge of the finer points of grammar. [i want to say, in my defense, that the one grammar quiz i found was really f**king hard. is that last sentence grammatically correct? i don't know. i have no confidence in my grammar anymore.]

i got so into answering questions about just about anything that i thought it might be fun to apply that format to mental health mondays. i've already done links to quizzes about various mental disorders and how to tell if you have them [i think it turned out i had all of them], but i wanted to do a special set of…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…