more like space

the montreal metro project, part 8 [the grand finale]

2012-01-28T13:36:00.002-05:00

here at last are the final photos in my series on montreal's metro system. i hope you've enjoyed this look at what i consider in my hometown pride to be one of the most fascinating underground networks in the world. although some stops show serious signs of disrepair, each one is unique, something highly uncommon in public transit systems in the western world. [subways in former eastern block countries were often made more with aesthetics in mind, with the aim of making them testaments to the power of the workers and the state.]

to start us off, there are a few images of the cote-vertu metro station, which lies at the western terminus of the u-shaped orange line. it's one of the network's most used stations, as it serves as the hub for buses going to the suburban west island and to the western side of laval, to the north. i had to transfer to a bus from this station for over a year and in my daily rush, i can't say that i ever remarked at how striking it is. it's that sort of reaction that made me want to do this series to begin with.

from the western prong of the orange line, we skip over to the east, to take a look at the last few stations on the other end.

below are a couple of shots of sauvé station, which is more or less parallel to cote vertu. it's one of those unassuming "we couldn't think of a theme so we went with beige" stations, but i've always thought there was something a little spooky about it's long, shadowy corridors and blind staircases. i would love to shoot a horror film in here.

and from there, we move to station henri bourassa, formerly the end of the orange line, before it was expanded into laval a few years back. the image below is actually a piece of art, which shifts as you watch it [should've taken a video], but it's also a functional piece, since it helps direct passengers. not too shabby...

MUCH MORE AFTER THE BREAK!

as we move to the north, we come to the three newest stations on montreal's network, all located on the island of laval. these stations were opened in 2007 and it shows. all seem bright and clean and happy and display a sleek modernity both in materials and design. they're three of the loveliest stations on the network, however, since they're in laval, most city-dwellers won't get to see them. [to be perfectly honest, i didn't exit the metro at any point when i went to take these photos. i get scared when you take me out of the city.] here are a few shots of cartier station, just on the other side of the thin river that separates the island of montreal from its northern neighbour.

and here is a look at de la concorde, my personal favourite of the three new stations. it's flooded with natural light and its geometric components give on the impression of being part of a giant, neutral lego set.

only one of my pictures of the orange line's eastern terminus at montmorency came out, which is a shame, because they've taken care to make the end of the line suitably grand. although you couldn't necessarily tell it from this picture, it's quite colourful, giving an almost playful atmosphere to something that's normally associated with dreary hours spent commuting. it also apparently has the highest ceilings within the network.

and finally, we'll take a quick look [which is really all you can take] at the yellow line, the tiny spur that goes from berri-uqam to the suburb of longueuil on the south shore. if city planners had extended the network further into the south shore, i firmly believe that the area would be to montreal what williamsburg is to manhattan. unlike the stations in laval, which are located at the very end of one of the lines, the yellow line emanates from a very central location, meaning that, if you live near the southern terminus, you're only 15-20 minutes from downtown, even though you're separated by water. unfortunately, the line comes to a dead halt after two stations and the south shore continues to seem far removed from the bustle of the city.

following berri, the first station one comes to is jean drapeau, named after montreal's iconic mayor who was responsible for bringing the world's fair to montreal in 1967 and the olympics in 1976. drapeau's shadow looms large over much of montreal, for his grandiose ideas transformed the city into what we see today. he made montreal a world-class destination and also came close to bankrupting it and among his many enduring projects, he was responsible for building the metro system. it's fitting that the station that bears his name sits on an island largely constructed to hold the 1967 expo. the tiny island was greatly enlarged by using the earth excavated to build the metro.

and finally, we have the unassuming station longueiul-université-de-sherbrooke, usually called just "longueuil". located on the edge of the south shore, it is a massive hub for public transit to all of the suburbs that line the eastern part of the st. lawrence's south bank.

thanks very much for reading! i hope you've enjoyed this ongoing series and, if you'd like to revisit the whole thing, you can find all the links conveniently assembled here. for a lot more information adn photographs, i highly recommend the bilingual site metro de montreal. you can also check out the official site for all things transit-related in montreal here. if you're planning a visit to montreal, particularly at a time when the weather might be dicey, i do highly recommend taking some time to explore the wonders of the underground. it's cheap, it's sheltered and, of course, it's easily accessible.

making faces :: a mediterranean escape with edward bess

2012-01-27T17:39:00.000-05:00

much of the hype around former model edward bess' cosmetic line is focused on his ability to make magic out of seemingly mundane shades. the collection is focused on naturals and nudes, the kind of colours that have been around a long time, but which still form the staples of most cosmetic stashes. after reading so many rapturous reviews of his products, i overcame a little of my hesitance [mostly caused by the fact that his line seems to have a distinct bias towards warm-toned complexions] and decided to dabble my toes in the sea of bess.

although the greatest number of rave reviews are for his eye shadows and lipsticks, i decided to take a chance on one of his "quad royale" palettes- a soft highlighting blush with four slightly different [both in tone and texture] shades designed to be used on the cheeks or as an all-over powder. i think i was drawn to these because it's dark and grey and snowing periodically and these quads are all named for locations along the mediterranean coast- "south of france", "summer in capri" and the most recent addition "monte carlo". these stir visions in me of gorgeous vistas of sea and sky and glowing, vitamin d-enriched faces lounging in the afternoon warmth and enjoying the sea spray in the air and a good strong cocktail à la "tender is the night".

i selected "south of france", the lightest and coolest of the three, figuring that this would perk up my pale face without giving me the "fake bake" look i so detest. i wasn't sure what to expect, because some highlighters hardly register at all, while others tend to be overly shiny and emphasise pores. since i was buying this sight unseen [thank you, zuneta], i was taking a bit of a chance. but i felt good about it and my guts are generally very honest with me.

and indeed, it steered me very, very right. "south of france" is a sandy highlighter with a slight mauve-pink cast that comes mainly from the deepest colour of the four. it would serve purely as a highlighter on most skin tones, but on pale types [like me!] it has enough colour to work as a soft blush. it comes in a sleek black case with a brush provided. the brush itself is good mostly for a light wash of product, but not much more. i actually think that one of arthur's paws would be perfect for this, but he has no interest in helping me out, even though opening a salon with cats who could apply cosmetics would undoubtedly be a golden ticket for all of us and we'd be booking appointments well into 2016 already. so i've been using a regular dense, fluffy brush, which gets the job done, but isn't nearly as cool.

MORE IMAGES AFTER THE BREAK

although there are four shades in the palette, no one of them is really large enough to use alone on the face. you could certainly try individual shades on the eyes, as a highlight along the brow or the inner corner, or wherever strikes your fancy [what you do with your makeup is your business]. it is perfectly possible to use two of the shades at a time, so you can use the darker shades in the lower half to create a bit of a contour and the upper shades to highlight. or you can use them all together. for something that looks like a small cake of pressed sand, it's a remarkable multi-tasker.

four shades swatched separately

the effect is subtle, but quite glorious. the powder is very finely milled and less shimmery than a lot of highlighters, meaning that it imbues the skin with a healthy radiance, but also gives it a smooth, flawless surface- hiding pores, uneven colour and whatever else you've managed to do to mess up your skin. it's light enough that it's pretty much impossible to overdo. it never becomes cakey or glittery, never hogs the spotlight. it's not likely the sort of thing that people will notice, other than to tell you that your skin looks lovely.

all colours blended

i compared it to a few shades of mac's mineralize skinfinish and the one thing that stood out was that, next to the "high beam" effect of those, "south of france" looks almost matte. perfect topping, which i expected to be closest in terms of colour, shows a lot darker and warmer when swatched alongside "south of france". "soft & gentle", the only permanent shade i thought might be similar, looks gold in comparison. "by candlelight" is again warmer and darker. all of the mac powders look and feel heavy compared to the edward bess one. going from memory, i'd say that the quad royales have slightly more colour payoff than guerlain meteorites.

l to r :: perfect topping, south of france, soft & gentle, by candlelight

each quad royale is $45usd and can be ordered from www.edwardbess.com, from zuneta [where the price can work out better, depending on your exchange rate], neiman marcus and now from sephora, who have picked up most of the edward bess line [although not, strangely enough, his iconic eye shadows]. for fair complexions, i'd almost say it's a must-have, because it's the sort of thing you can use every day if you were so inclined. those with medium or darker complexions would probably want to check it out in person [if possible], or opt for one of the other shades.

because it is a more subtle look, it's a little difficult to capture "south of france" in the wild. [i suspect that it's warmer, peachier cousins, "summer in capri" and "monte carlo" are a little easier to spot.] nonetheless, i thought i'd share a look i put together with it, just for kicks.

products used

face ::
mac prolongwear foundation "nc15"
dr. hauschka concealer "01"

eyes ::
mac e/s "silverwear"* [silvery light purple]
mac e/s "altered state"* [dark purple]
armani eyes to kill e/s "purpura" [shimmery purple and gold mix]
mac e/s "crystal avalanche" [shimmery white]
mac superslick liquid liner "on the hunt" [black]
mac eye kohl "smolder" [black]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
edward bess quad royale "south of france" [shimmery sandy mauve]

lips ::
mac l/s "aristo-cat"* [medium purple with gold shimmer]

*suggested alternates :: silverwear = mac crystal [a bit deeper]; altered state = mac indian ink [matte, bluer]; aristo-cat = mac creme de la femme is the closest permanent shade, but it's actually nearer to the limited edition shades "purple haze" and "courting lilac"

h+m wtf?

2012-01-24T19:49:00.000-05:00

i saw this on a friend's facebook page and felt compelled to share. basically, it's the story of a really sweet, decent gesture made by illustrator/ artist tori laconsay to show her appreciation for her georgia hometown. she decided to use a blank sign to send a positive message to the people in her community, which is something that a lot of us will never witness. what a wonderful idea for a piece of guerrilla art.

retail giant h & m evidently thought it was a great idea too. because somehow their design team came up with the same idea, using the same text style and the same heart for some of its housewares. h & m, of course, denies that their work is in any way derived from laconsay's.

this strikes me as the kind of thing that happens when you're a teenager and you come home at three in the morning and try to convince your parents that you haven't been drinking or smoking because, of course, it's not like they ever did anything like that when they were teenagers. in this case, h & m are the drunken idiot teenagers and the rest of us are the parents wondering who the hell they think they're fooling.

i suppose i can give them credit for deciding not to use the period from laconsay's original work. and they tilted the "n" a little. astounding creativity.

last week, i and a lot of others were fired up at the idea that large corporations were going to censor what we could see on the internet in the name of copyright protection. this is a case of the flip side. a large, wealthy corporation is using its muscle to scam an individual out of residual payments to which they would be entitled under the law.

you don't look nice, hennes and mauritz, you don't look nice at all.

making faces :: quick peek [guerlain spring 2012]

2012-01-22T00:05:00.000-05:00

today it was -15 celsius outside. "spring" is not the first thought that comes to mind. certainly not the particularly delicate palette of spring 2012, marked as it is by ultra-soft pastels from the likes of dior [see here], lancome [whose spring collection features a fragile mix of pinks and cool greens] and eve guerlain. i say "even" because last year, guerlain's spring collection seemed to target those who were spending the first quarter of the year hiding in the tropics until the mercury rose. although some shades had a lighter payoff, there was definitely a lot of colour- red-corals, peach, pinks and the stunning centrepiece of the collection, the torrid "blush g", which became a popular favourite.

from that offbeat take on spring, guerlain has swung to the other side, with a palette of pink, pink and pink for 2012. [they call it "pink & black", but the black seems to refer to the packaging only. or to their newly launched mascara, which is kind of a separate thing.] i went through the whole "pink blows" phase and have made my peace with the colour. in fact, i've learned to quite like it [especially since i figured out it actually tends to make me look better]. but i have to say that it seems guerlain has really loaded their pre-easter eggs in an exceptionally girly basket.

LOOK INSIDE THE BASKET...

to be fair, there are some bold colours, to be found in the two four-colour shadow palettes [$64cad each] available with the collection. one is a selection of pinks, but they're not the more delicate shades. in fact, i think that these would be a real statement if worn together [pink eye shadow is not nearly as scary as some people believe].

les roses

the second eye shadow quad is a selection of aquas and teals, which i suppose is nice enough, but this is the third take on aqua/ teal/ blue that we've seen in a guerlain quad since the fall. i'll admit that i'm a wee bit prejudiced, because it's a colour family that often doesn't work on my eyes, but i'd probably be annoyed even if they kept releasing palettes of plum shades. [although, this seems as good a time as any to point out that there hasn't even been one.] nonetheless, if you are one of the world's many aquaphiles, the shades here are exquisite, even by guerlain's high standards. [and i should add that of the three blue/ aqua combinations we've seen lately, this one is definitely the best both in terms of colour and quality.] i'll try to enjoy the feeling of not spending my money, in the meantime.

les aquas

there is also a six-shadow palette [named, as all their 6-shadow palettes are, for a guerlain location in paris], which breaks the bank at $90cad, but which is a more subdued mix of mauves and rosy taupes- colours that you're likely to get more use from. guerlain also packages their six-shadow palettes in an exceptionally beautiful metal case, so it's as much a pleasure to look at as it is to use. well, sort of. i found that four of the six shades were beautiful, had excellent colour payoff and blended easily. two of the more matte shades [swatched on top] were a little stiffer and it was harder to get them to show up. i think it would be easier to work with these using a brush, of course, but there is a definite difference in quality with those two.

6 shadow palette "66 boulevard de montparnasse"

colour-wise, i preferred the six-shadow palette, because i felt that i'd be able to use it without having to reach for "helpers" from elsewhere in my stash and because i thought there was a little more variance the shades. however, in terms of overall quality, i'd give the edge to the four-shadow palettes, in particular the pink one. my understanding is that all of the eye shadow palettes are permanent.

for the lips, guerlain is offering four new "rouge g" lipsticks and four "kiss kiss" glosses. normally, it's difficult to separate me from a rouge g once i've laid eyes on it, but i didn't feel that immediate bond with these. the four are varying shades of pink, which is fine, but they're exceptionally sheer. exceptionally. the swatches you see are built up a fair amount so that they'd show up in the photo. the formula is much more like the sheer "rouge g brilliant" and i have no idea why they weren't marketed under that formula. [although honestly, even those are usually more pigmented than these ones.] two of the shades- rose innocent and rose barbare- are cooler and two- rose ensoleillee and rose piquant- are warmer, but the differences are very slight.

l to r :: rose innocente, rose ensoleilee, rose piquant, rose barbare

the formula for these specific rouge g's includes "ruby dust", which allows the colour to cling to lips and last longer. which would be awesome if you can get it to show up in the first place. i tried on rose barbare, the deepest of the shades, shown in the photo below. [note- this is layered a little to get the colour more pronounced and even and it's the brightest of the shades. the photo was taken less than ten minutes after application, so this is as intense as you're going to get from any of these colours.]

the picture actually makes the colour look bolder than it did in person. it had a glossy sheen when i first applied it, but that faded within minutes. i stopped by another makeup counter on my way home and none of them could tell i was wearing lipstick. in addition, when i was applying it, despite the slick, sheer formula, it was tricky for me to get the colour on evenly.

ironically, the glosses in the collection are a lot more pigmented than i expected [keeping in mind that they're glosses]. the shades are really lovely, too- an icy white-pink, a gold shimmered pink-peach, a saturated pinky coral and a perky semi-sheer fuchsia. these appealed to me much more and were much easier to differentiate one from another. the lipsticks may appeal to natural lip lovers, but i'd personally say that this is a case where you'd probably be best off saving your money [rouge g's are $50cad each] and picking up something like mac's sweetie or nars' dolce vita, both shades that give a lovely, semi-sheer flush of pink to the lips, with better results and a lot less of a hit to the wallet. the glosses, however, are worth the $35cad asking price.

l to r :: cherry pink, rose in bloom, frosted rose, flush pink

my understanding with the lip products is that the glosses are permanent, but the lipsticks are limited.

once again, the real attraction of the collection is the astounding blush/ highlighter "cruel gardenia" [$76cad, the only product that is significantly more expensive in canada than in the united states]. and it is a beauty. it's breathtaking to behold, a finely carved pink rose, but it's even lovelier in use [which will make you feel less guilty about destroying that lovely design.]


behold its pristine beauty

behold its less pristine, but more practical beauty

more than anything, it reminded me of a silver-pink version of my beloved terra inca sublime radiant powder- soft and drenched in shimmer, which can be exceedingly glamourous or subtly brightening depending on how much you use and how much you blend it out. it also looks great tapped in the inner corner of the eyes to add a sparkly highlight. this is certain to be the hit of the collection and it is limited, but fortunately guerlain seems to provide lots of stock when they know an item is going to be in demand. [yes, mac cosmetics, i am giving you the stink-eye.]

i'm such a huge guerlain fan that i'm actually annoyed that i don't like this collection more. i'd say that it has a couple of definite hits, but it lacks the overall quality and cohesion of some of their other launches.

best bets :: cruel gardenia, whichever gloss you prefer

meh :: lipsticks

the right angles

2012-01-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

i guess every girl eventually wants to write letters to the stars of her favourite television show.

dear mitt,

i hate to shatter your illusion that you're the aristocratic, above-the-fray president-in-waiting, but you need to know that your awkwardness is so pronounced that i feel awkward just watching you. the overwhelming tension that's evident when you smile makes me think you're being shot full of electrodes, or that you're about to fire me, neither of which is a good look for you.

we really don't care about your tax returns, but the fact that you squirm and stammer every time you talk about them makes us all wonder what it is you're trying to hide. and the fact is, i don't really think you're hiding everything. you say that you're proud of the success you've had, but your actions tell a different story. your reticence to throw a public light on your finances tells me that you're deeply uncomfortable revealing that you are a rich guy doing rich guy stuff with his money.

dear ron,

that moment in the debate where the crowd had to holler at john king to remind him to let you answer a question was kind of priceless. i notice cnn hasn't been running that one ad nauseum. in fact, it very much suited the outsider-ness of your entire campaign and i don't think that was lost on you.

some polls are indicating that you would be one of the party's strongest candidates versus barack obama, only a hair behind mitt romney and perennial front-runner "generic republican". i don't see you getting the nomination, but i love watching the general discomfort you cause for your party and the media.

dear newt,

whatever you're doing right now, you should take a break to send john king a great big gift basket filled with fine liquers, belgian chocolates and aged cheeses. by asking you that admittedly ill-timed question about your ex-wife and the open marriage ultimatum, he gave you a moment so powerful you could have blown your nose on your lapel, scratched your junk like there was an infection and napped for the final thirty minutes of the debate and everyone still would have said you were the winner.

i will never count you out of this race, because i know that you are the jason vorhees of the republican party. you can't be killed because you're more bogey than man. no matter how final your demise, you can just keep coming back when people think they're safe. you're probably the party's best bet, now that i think of it.

dear santorum,

i've recently realised that you bear a startling resemblance to a former boss of mine, a real leader in the asshat community. i thought maybe that was why i'd developed such an instinctive dislike of you and then i remembered that you're the one who stuck up for s.o.p.a. at the debate and who wants to ban contraception. and that you were selected as one of the most corrupt politicians in washington by an organisation that, despite what you say, targets democrats as well as republicans.

that said, i realise that i've underestimated you all along and what's repulsive to me plays very well with a certain group within your party. your performances at the debates have gotten consistently stronger, reaching their peak on thursday when your final speech. you were overshadowed by your conservative competitor and i think that, ultimately, he's going to get the better of you, but it's evident that you're going to go down swinging. and not in the gingrich way.

friday favourites :: 20.01.12

2012-01-20T21:24:00.002-05:00

so often, it seems like i wonder about what to write here from day to day, but lately, i'm desperately trying to deal with blog-log. i am literally so behind on things i've promised myself i'm going to post that i've had to start maintaining a list so that i don't forget them. the problem is that ideas i had for more general blog posts are getting pushed aside by ones that are a little more time sensitive. i'm already annoyed that i didn't post any insane predictions for the republican debate last night, but what's a girl to do? [nor any thoughts on the previous debate -ed.]

but i did promise myself that i was going to throw a few favourites out there, because i need my little pause for positivity at the end of the week.

sopa success! :: undoubtedly the high point of the week was watching elected officials run from the sinking ships of s.o.p.a. and p.i.p.a. like they were italian cruise line captains. [too soon?] three of the four republican candidates for president took pains to distance themselves from the publicly reviled legislation [rick santorum was noncommittal] and president barack obama said he wouldn't support it, which sort of made the temporary withdrawal of the legislation a little redundant. in fact, i would like to see smarter, more effective piracy laws put into place, but the only way that they're going to meet either of those criteria is if the people crafting them know what they're talking about, which neither congress nor entertainment conglomerates do. honestly, i had a feeling this was the way things were going to play out, but even i'm surprised that it happened so quickly. way to go, internet. we'll be keeping our eyes open for future developments.

cereal :: i'm actually shocked i haven't mentioned this one before, because i could live off the stuff. my preference is for grainy, flaky cereals, preferably with clusters of nuts and very lightly sweetened. [in fact, i'm perfectly happy to add a touch of honey on my own.] i dislike sugary cereals as a rule and any sort of sugar first thing has a tendency to make me nauseous. oh and if that weren't enough, super-sweet cereals also have the same effect on my blood sugar as they do on a six year old. and i've been told that a woman in her late thirties running through the grocery store or shopping centre screaming and drooling isn't as forgivable as a six year old. what, am i not sort of adorably eccentric when i slobber?

of course, part of the pleasure of cereal is the inevitable bonding it brings with my fur-babies, particularly arthur, who arrive in short order to share and serve as clean-up crew. don't worry if you've eaten at my house, i wask the dishes after they're done, just to make sure. as far as you know.

MORE TO SEE AFTER THE BREAK...

i've lost count :: seriously, i'm not sure which pair this is, but can one ever really have too many fluevogs? [that question is rhetorical.] dom got these babies for me, the "nazareth" model and let me emphasise that in this case, love does not hurt. since i can't wear these outside in this weather, i've been allowing myself to torture my wham!-blasting downstairs neighbour by wearing them around the house, on our wood floors, on a daily basis. despite the high wedge heel and wood base, these are ridiculously comfortable. i mean, almost all fluevogs are comfortable, even ones with huge heels and oddball designs [that's why we love them!] but these ones are just stupidly comfortable. they're extremely cushioned, which means that, even when you're hauling lots of garbage and laundry down the stairs and back [only the laundry, not the garbage], it feels like you're floating. the suede front pretty much vacu-forms to your foot, which means that these shoes are less prone to the wobbliness that affects other clog-type shoes.

first creative output :: having been prone in the last couple of years to some creative slumps, i was very happy that, inside of three weeks into 2012, i was able to sit down and get something done. it's a poem called "a box of dust" and you can read it here. it had actually been kicking around my head in fragments during a few bouts of insomnia over the last month, but i made myself sit down and write out a draft as best i could. it's not an epic or anything, but it did at least get the year started on the right creative foot. i've also tentatively started work on another creative project, news to come on that soon, i hope. [as a side note, i'm curious to try out apple's new author app, which i'm told is "pretty slick".]

blog-log :: well sure, i said it was kind of a problem, because i hardly knew where to start, but the fact is that i'm excited to have so many things to share here. so i'll deal with the "pressure" [which, i'm aware, is entirely self-imposed] in the name of keeping this fun for me. i will be posting some thoughts on the palmetto state's wild ride, which i should get done before the whole thing is over. [better get cracking -ed.] i also have another restaurant review [more brunch!], a couple of movie reviews, a quick look at another spring makeup collection, and more in-depth reviews of products from armani, le metier de beauté, korres, hourglass and edward bess among others. [as another, unrelated side note, as i'm typing this, dom is playing "duke nuke'em" in the same room, so as i was writing that last bit, i kept hearing the words "hail to the king, baby", which made me feel very important, until i realised that the voice was part of the game and not everything happening in this room is about me. there are also peeing sounds, which i'm sort of assuming/ hoping are the video game.]

and although i did already include a kitteh cameo earlier in the post, i couldn't help but share an image i captured this week of our little girl. she is an angel of sweetness and innocence, at least when she's sleeping...

thanks, as always, for reading!!

the internet does not need a guard dog

2012-01-18T14:30:00.000-05:00

a long time ago, i came across a really interesting piece about the mistakes people make in training their dogs, particularly those who are interested in having a companion who also serves as a form of protection for the home. the author [and i apologise that i can't remember her name] made the point that training a dog to defend its territory by attacking unknown intruders is a recipe for disaster, because a skilled thief will know easily enough how to dispatch with an animal, but a relative, friend, postal worker or emergency care worker will not. so training a dog to be aggressive is likely to result in some pretty horrific damage while doing nothing to address the problem of safety.

i've been reminded of that story a lot lately as i've heard about the draconian legislation currently before the u.s. congress, because i suspected that s.o.p.a. and p.i.p.a. were similar to the guard dog- endangering bystanders while doing little to resolve the larger problem. those who engage in large-scale internet piracy will know how to get around these rules. in fact, it seems that anyone who can find out an i.p. address would be able to circumvent the system proposed by these acts, but content providers- particularly start-ups without deep legal resources- would not.

the appalling vague wording of the acts makes it possible for sites like reddit, metafilter, fark [whose page you should really check out before it goes back to normal tomorrow], even google, mozilla [firefox] and facebook, which allow a diverse base of users to link to content they neither produced nor host, to have their domain name blocked and their advertising stopped. and far from stealing, these places are often doing content producers a favour by including them in listings and links. why else would we all have clickable buttons under our posts to make it easier for you to share them on these sites? if someone shares my stuff, i'm flattered. if someone steals from me, i'll try to address it personally, but even if i were protected by legislation, i wouldn't have the financial resources to launch a legal campaign against a really big copyright violator.

there's the rub. who does have the financial resources to make this legislation work for them? the people who want to push the bills through- giants of the entertainment industry. these people have spent a lot of money lobbying politicians and mounting advertising campaigns [largely focused on convincing the public that what they're really concerned about is the loss of american jobs because of piracy] to ensure that final say over what you can and can't see on the internet is determined by the people who brought you the debt ceiling crisis and gigli.

and just to be clear, no one is saying that content theft is ok. but a piece of legislation written by those who don't understand the internet advised only by those who have a financial interest in restricting its content is not the answer.

here's a page indicating things you can do to help ensure that this legislation ends up in the trash bin where it belongs.

here's a great little infographic on what the legislation is and what its dangers are.

here's a document summarising the p.i.p.a. and the concerns about it.

and you should definitely check out the oatmeal's protest, because it [like all of his stuff] is made of awesome.

and finally, here's a video that explains the basic problems with the legislation:

making faces :: quick peek [dior spring 2012]

2012-01-17T10:58:00.000-05:00

i know that readers in the united states have had spring programs on their shelves since before christmas [which, frankly, should be illegal, because it's way too confusing], but here in canada, we're just starting to get the first hints of spring colour in cosmetic displays. sure, we can order from the u.s., but that's cheating... in a way. and besides, if you live in montreal in january, you know that spring is a distant mirage that exists merely to tease you with the promise of its eventual visit. in the meantime, we know it's going to be cold and miserable until the middle of april. and even then, i wouldn't bet serious money on a thaw.

nonetheless, as i mentioned, some bold folk are starting to dangle their springy bits in our faces, at least in certain retail locations. this past week, i spotted the new dior "garden party" collection [because, really, who doesn't want to have a garden party when it's -17 a snowing?]. i was able to grab some very rough photos with my phone and i thought i'd share them with you, as well as some of my initial thoughts on what i saw.

i have to say, this collection is really well named. looking at the soft florals and pastels, one of the first things that springs to mind is a highly civilised garden party, complete with butlers serving crustless sandwiches, blush-coloured wine, intricate centrepieces on perfectly laid-out tables and ladies in old-fashioned hats. trust me, i lived next to the lieutenant-governor's house in halifax and the annual garden party there is a big deal. and it's bursting with hues like those found in dior's spring collection.

IMAGES AND FIRST THOUGHTS AFTER THE BREAK...

everything here is soft- lilacs, pistachio greens, peachy pinks, ivory shimmer- there is not a heavyweight among the group. the collection boasts two "quints", or five-shadow palettes of harmonised colours. the first is a combination of light pinks and violets called "garden roses". it's super-pretty, feminine and delicate, like the blossoms of spring venturing out from their buds. or something more poetic. you'll have to imagine it, because apparently the blossoms don't take well to being photographed under fluorescent lighting on someone's hand. they're particular that way.

the second quint, "garden pastels" is slightly more varied in terms of its colour selection, but still very springy. featuring shades of pearly white, buttercream, seafoam, spring green and, of course, a delicate pink, it's the sort of thing that could appeal to a variety of complexions and skin tones [whereas "garden roses" seems more appropriate for the very fair and those with the skin of an english rose]. the colours aren't tremendously unique, so if this interests you, it's worth checking to see how many of the shades you can duplicate with your existing collection. if it's more than half, you might want to look into buying individual shades to replace the ones you're missing. if you only have one or two similar, you're probably better off buying the palette.

dior "garden pastels" five shadow palette

honestly, the colour payoff on both of these was phenomenal. each of the colours was smooth and rich, even though i was simply applying a quick swatch with my finger. the finishes are quite frosty, which might be an issue for some.

there were four lipsticks in the display, although only two of them are new with the collection- the permanent shades andalouse and diorama were included as well. the two new shades "corolle pink" and "tulip pink" are examples of the kind of colour dior does really well- pretty, soft feminine shades in the pink-coral family that go everywhere and suit most complexions. to me, they're actually very reminiscent of the two shades released with their 2011 spring collection, just a little less peach and more pink.

l to r :: andalouse, diorama, corolle pink, tulip pink top :: party lilac, pretty rose

there are two glosses as well- "pretty rose" and "party lilac". both more or less live up to their name, impart a little bit of colour and a lot of shine. i didn't put much effort into photographing these, i'll admit [you can see them on top of the lipstick swatches], because they're too sheer to capture properly without careful lighting. i'll admit straight up that i'm not a fan of dior's glosses, because i find that they're almost all so close to clear that they're indistinguishable from one another.

there is a smaller eye palette and a blush that are supposed to be included with the new collection, but this counter didn't have either one. they did have the two nail polishes- a medium lilac-purple called "forget-me-not" and a slightly shimmery soft green [which was actually my favourite part] called "water lily".you can see good images of both polishes here.

overall, it looks like a classic interpretation of spring. if you like soft pastels, it's bound to be your thing.

best bets :: water lily nail polish, garden pastels palette

meh :: glosses

way better than a golden globe

2012-01-16T23:14:00.000-05:00

what was the high point of my day? finding out from the lovely and talented beautyfully inspired that i'd won my first award, the versatile blogger award. behold:

for my personal awards ceremony [which consists of me strutting around my place in sock feet], i have chosen to wear an all-black two-piece ensemble of a cotton top in need of hem repair with low v-neck and faux wraparound-style detail from some shop on queen street west in toronto and a pair of knee-length faux-riding pants that i'm never quite sure about from h & m. i've paired this with opaque tights without runs or holes in the toes.

posing for the paparazzi. which would be me.

for the hair, i've gone for an ultra-trendy "napped-in" look held in place by my ears. my makeup is by mac, benefit, inglot and rouge bunny rouge and for my nails, i am sporting an edgy worn-tips look with butter london's "marrow".

i would, of course like to thank my nominator and to all my readers, who really cheer me with their comments and even with their silent presence. and i'd like to thank dom, who dutifully reads all my posts and tries to point out the spelling mistakes i miss before they have the chance to really embarrass me and i'd like to dedicate the award to all of my feline children- arthur, seth, julia, simon and hecubus- who are consistently a source of happiness, entertainment and inspiration for me, as well as being one of the most popular parts of this blog.

i could not do this without you.

now, there are rules that come with this award. here they are:

1. thank the person who nominated you and give them a shout out on your blog with a link to their blog.

2. share 7 random facts about yourself.

3. send on the award to 10 other bloggers whose blogs you truly appreciate and let them know that they have won the award!

so here are seven random facts about me, to go along with all of the other occasionally disturbing tidbits i've shared over the years.

- my handwriting is so ridiculously tiny that i can't use a lot of standard pens- they don't have a precise enough tip. an ex of mine once showed my writing to a friend of his who worked as a psychiatric nurse. his diagnosis was "that's not normal". head of the class, einstein.

- i have a statue of the indian goddess kali on my desk at home and i've been using the moniker "dj kali" for almost twenty years, despite the fact that i've played very different styles of music over that span of time.

- despite the fact that i have a lot of problems with back, neck and shoulder pain, i'm extremely flexible. most massage therapists and physiotherapists are quite surprised by this.

- i have never had a cavity, but they sound awful.

- i can type legibly, although not quickly, with my elbows.

- streetlights have a tendency to go out around me. many people, including skeptics, have verified this.

- i have always been quite proud of being short. this makes it extremely easy for me to tell when people are claiming to be taller than they actually are.

making faces :: au naturel with mac

2012-01-14T17:11:00.003-05:00

photoshop, naturally

every year for the last few years, mac has released two complementary collections just after christmas. two years back, it was split between warm and cool tones. last year, it was soft and shimmery versus bold and bright. this year, they've more or less repeated that strategy with "naturally", a collection of neutrals and soft, shimmery mineral products for cheeks and eyes and an eponymous collection with the iconic iris apfel.

normally, anyone who knows me would expect that i'd immediately gravitate towards the bright side, but since i have a lot of bold shades already and didn't feel that there was anything that looked tremendously different from what i had already, i sort of hesitated.

when i arrived at my local store, a couple of days after both collections had launched, there were still some remnants of the iris apfel collection [although none of the lipsticks, which have been the real hit], but i found myself uncharacteristically drawn to the soft neutrals. me? neutrals? really? am i growing up or something? eek. i hope not.

the mineral shadows, perfect little planets of colour that are mixed to form a shimmery, dimensional whole in use are all very nice. they're generally warmer, but wouldn't be limited to warmer-toned skin. the quality of mac's mineral shadows has been greatly improved over the last few years. the texture has grown softer, the application more even and the texture less prone to grittiness and fallout. it's become a real specialty of theirs, so it doesn't entirely surprise me that they have several mineral-focused collections scheduled for the first half of 2012.

unfortunately, the improvements they've made haven't necessarily improved the experience for me. i've found that shadows released with recent launches just do not like my eyes. it figures. the product is undeniably better in every way and continues to improve. by 2013 i expect that applying one of these shadows will make you look ten years younger [or, if you're a teenager, make you look like you're of legal drinking age] and prevent cancer, but they'll make my eyeballs melt.

cloudy afternoon dry/ wet

since we're not quite at the melting point yet, i did get tempted by one shade- well, a few shades, actually, but i limited myself to buying one, "cloudy afternoon"- an interesting melange of a pinkish cream, light blue-grey, rust and a khaki-brass kind of shade. rolled together, it translates as a lighter grey taupe with a lovely warm silver sheen, a perfect kind of neutral wearable under virtually every circumstance without ever looking drab [as neutrals can]. unlike some of the older mineral shadows, it won't give you that "frostilicus" look and it won't emphasise all of those "i'm not twenty-one anymore" flaws on your lids.

and so far, it doesn't make my eyes itch, which definitely has me doing a happy dance. [you'll have to imagine what that looks like, because there's no way i'm posting a video.]

MORE PRODUCTS, PICTURES, COMPARISONS AND SWATCHES [but no video] AFTER THE BREAK

colour-wise, it's somewhat similar to the old mineral duo "family silver"- not so much to the individual shades, but to the two of them combined. as you can see in the photo, though, "family silver" had a more glittery finish, which made it prone to dispatching bits of itself all over your face.

it's somewhat similar to "dalliance", a limited edition "mega-metal" shadow from last year, although dalliance is lighter and greyer.

l to r :: family silver [light], family silver [dark], family silver [mixed], cloudy afternoon, dalliance

also re-released with this collection are two of mac's coveted "mineralize skinfinishes"- blush/ highlighter mineral powders. the two with this collection were originally released in 2009 with a collection called "brunette, blonde, redhead" and are called, appropriately enough, "blonde" and "redhead". [i guess people really don't go for brunettes.]

rather than featuring a large pan of a base colour threaded with secondary colours, as most of the skinfinishes do, these have a stripes of colour in a sort of degradé from one side to the other. while the stripes are too narrow to use individually, there is certainly enough space so that you could use only a couple. both give a surprising colour payoff and the formula is finer and smoother than most skinfinishes [and smoother than the original release]. they have a fairly intense sheen factor as well, so you'd be well advised to use a fairly light hand, unless you're into causing traffic accidents when the sun reflects off your cheeks.

blonde mixed/ shades separated

"blonde", intended for fairer and cooler skin tones, ranges from a pink-champagne highlight shade on one side to a warm rosebud pink on the other. it looks cooler in the pan, but it definitely shows a bit of warmth on my skin. mixed, the highlighting shade adds some overall dimension because of the sheen it imparts, whereas the two darker colours are more representative of the shade you see on the skin.

i wasn't able to find a very good comparison in my stash for this one. the limited edition shade "petticoat" is much deeper and more of a pink-bronze. "dame", a regular powder blush from the permanent line, is a bit brighter and a lot cooler. you can really see the warmth of "blonde" by comparison. i've heard that blonde is more similar to the recently released "porcelain pink" mineralize skinfinish, but i don't have that one to compare.

l to r :: petticoat, blonde, dame

redhead, shades separated

"redhead" goes from a light gold highlighter to a pinkish amber shade. blended, it becomes a gilded peach shade. i find that this one is very warm on my skin tone, which can make it look bolder than i like, unless i take a lot of care to apply lightly and blend the colour out. however, i do think that this will make a nice summer colour and on deeper and warmer skin tones, it would be a lovely, glowing highlight year-round.

redhead mixed

it was a little easier to find comparable shades to this one, probably because a lot of these products are warmer in tone, like redhead. the limited edition mac shades "so ceylon" [a little browner] and "stereo rose" [brighter and a touch pinker] are both in the same ballpark without being exact copies. guerlain's terra inca sublime radiant powder is a little warmer, but the finish is much softer and less noticeable on the cheeks.

l to r :: guerlain terra inca, mac so ceylon, redhead, stereo rose

i'm generally a big fan of mac's mineralize skinfinishes, because they function both as a blush and a highlighter and generally give a radiance that disguises the ravages of time, weather and indulgence. about my only quibble with them, and with many mineral products in general, is that they aren't as long-lasting as i'd like. while a little of their shimmery effect can last throughout the day, i find that the colour fades by about five or six hours. [although i've had fading problems with with the eye shadows in the past, but "cloudy afternoon" performs quite well.]

there is, of course, more to the collection: mineral blushes [which have been popular, but were all too warm and too dark for my tastes] and a selection of nude lipsticks [none of which struck me as terribly unique, but i'm hardly a nude lipstick connoisseur]. although the bright, bold matte shades from the iris apfel collection may be getting all the attention, i find that, for once, i'm drawn to the softness and subtlety of "naturally". i promise i'll be back to normal soon enough.

here's a couple of looks showing the above-mentioned products in use.

well, this first one is probably cheating. although it makes use of both "blonde" and "cloudy afternoon", it doesn't really fit with the theme "naturally", because it's hardly a no-makeup look. but i do think that it's a sort of played-down version of the classic neutral eye/ red lip combination and... wait. why i am justifying this? it's my face, i can do what i like!

products used

face [same for both] ::
mac prolongwear foundation "nc15"
dr. hauschka concealer "01"

eyes ::
mac mineralize e/s "cloudy afternoon"* [silver-taupe]
mac e/s "hocus pocus"* [dirty brown-grey]
chanel e/s "khaki vert" [dirty olive green]
mac e/s "vanilla" [peachy-beige]
mac superslick liquid liner "on the hunt" [black]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
mac mineralize skinfinish "blonde"* [warm tea rose]

lips ::
rouge bunny rouge l/s "word of mouth"

all of the limited products [*] listed are still available on www.maccosmetics.ca.

this look is a little warmer and, i guess, more natural. i'm wearing "redhead" on my cheeks and i think you'll be able to see what i mean about it being a little heavy for very pale skin. normally, i'd blend this out quite a bit more. honestly, the part i like the most about this look is the eyes, because i find that the shades really bring out the blue in my eyes, but on the whole, for the type of thing i don't try very often, i'm reasonably happy with it.

products used

eyes ::
rouge bunny rouge e/s "angelic cockatiels" [coppery sand]
mac e/s "mulled cider"* [warm medium brown]
mac prolongwear e/s "one to watch" [peachy light brown]
nars e/s "mekong" [dark brown with gold shimmer]- i used this as a liner on my upper lashes
makeup forever concealer pencil "light/ medium"- used along my water line
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
mac mineralize skinfinish "redhead"* [rosy amber]

lips ::
mac l/s "spiced tea"* [rusty brown]

*suggested alternates :: mulled cider = mac swiss chocolate; spiced tea = mac l/s "sheer plum [redder and more sheer]

a box of dust

2012-01-13T22:16:00.000-05:00

a box of dust is left
away from the eyes of light.
the stale air embraces it
and says "i will hold you forever."
and the box shudders and its contents-
dry remnants locked inside-
shift a little, mimicking life.
lacquered shell, blanched from days near sunbeams
its cargo crumbled to a mystery,
to a nothing, to an ending.

this might once have played music,
plucked out a tune naive and plaintive
or shown an image, diorama
some magical tromp l'oeil
to captivate and entertain and puzzle;
ladies and gentlemen- behold!
presented for your amusement
the sweet story in a light-box.

or maybe it his treasure maps
transcripts of ancient secrets
long since discovered and discarded
stained with the work of those
who passed them on.

could it be pandora's box
recovered from the fog of myth
its unwelcome contents cast
unwittingly throughout the world
[by the woman who had to know]
and that remnant hope languishing
in a wooden tomb?
it could.

and the air rests thick
around it,
showering floury dirt in micrograms,
committing the vessel
to its resting place
with all the worthless history
it holds.

friday favourites :: 13.01.12

2012-01-13T13:54:00.000-05:00

ok, i totally skipped friday favourites on the first friday of the new year. i own up to that. as it happened, it got working on my initial rouge bunny rouge review and it took longer than i thought it would to put the whole thing together, so when i finished, all i could think about was rouge bunny rouge and the enchanted garden and, really, getting those products was probably my favourite thing last week, along with watching the insanity of the republican iowa caucus and "cnn after dark", which i'd also already blogged about. but now i'm back and i have more things that are cheering me through the darkest days of winter. [not actually the darkest days, since the solstice is passed. -ed.] [i was being metaphorical, tight ass.]

image borrowed from thebloggess.com

the traveling red dress :: technically, this is sort of a repeat from a previous friday favourites, which i normally don't do, since it's about "the bloggess" jenny lawson, but this time, rather than just making me blow tea out my nose with laughter, she's using the internet to do something really amazing.

this is a project that actually started a few years ago, when she invested in a beautiful red dress, just for the opportunity to feel the beauty, glamour and decadence it accorded. then, wanting other women to be able to experience those same feelings, she decided to send the red dress out into the world, offering it to anyone who needed that sort of fairytale magic in their lives.

although the original dress is apparently a little worse for wear [literally], the project was resurrected recently when lawson blogged about her battles with depression and her propensity to self-harm. while she has never made a secret of her mental health issues, she usually addresses them with the same humour that has made her blog famous and famously popular [over a million hits a month]. this piece was different, because it exposed the horrors of a woman trying at once to deal with mental disorders and their attendant social stigma and at the same time, trying to protect her young daughter from her shadowy passengers.

from this article flowed a new tide of "traveling red dresses", a network of women offering their own beautiful garments to others in need of a bit of joy. no corporate sponsor has donated to the project- it is strictly an internet phenomenon transmitted largely through tweets [twitter's resurgence after it was thought to be on life support a couple of years back is a sort of remarkable story in itself], with dozens of offers.

jenny lawson has become a sort of personal hero for me. reading her tweets and her blog are highlights of virtually every week and she could easily occupy a place on every installment of "friday favourites". i have to stop myself from putting her on here more often. i can't wait until the official launch of her forthcoming memoir "let's pretend this never happened" and i'm always looking forward to the next way she devises to make people "furiously happy".

THAT'S NOT ALL! MORE FAVOURITES PLUS KITTEH AFTER THE BREAK!

mississippi attorney general jim hood :: normally when we hear about legal professionals using technicalities and procedural get-arounds to achieve their ends, it's a cause for anger, because too often, this is the sort of chicanery that results in guilty people continuing to roam the streets. however, now and again, there are cases where a legal anomaly can be used to accomplish what the law was intended to do- protecting a community from its most anti-social members.

as most governors [and presidents] are wont to do, mississippi's haley barbour used his executive prerogative to pardon criminals as he prepares to leave office. of course, most governors don't pardon two hundred criminals at once. although, in a press communique [the only statement his office has made thus far on the issue] barbour defends his actions because "90% of those released were no longer in custody"- meaning that they had been granted parole after relatively minor offenses and were being granted pardon in recognition of the fact that they had shown themselves to have reformed. at least, we hope that that's the logic.

but most people have not been concerned with that 90%, but with the 10% who were still in custody and were pardoned anyway- rapists, murderers, violent predicate felons like david gatlin who shot his estranged wife while she was holding their six week old baby. [he also shot a good friend of hers, who survived despite a blast to the head and now lives in fear that gatlin will come back to finish the job.]

there have been some obvious objections raised; a number of the convicts pardoned, including gatlin, worked at the governor's mansion, possibly indicating that the pardons were based on personal favouritism rather than a sober review of case histories and; a pardon does not mean simply that a convict can go free- which would be questionable in itself- but that the entire record of that person's criminal history is removed from the public record. like it never happened. as a result, those pardoned face no conditions that might normally be imposed were they released on parole; conditions like not being able to carry a firearm, not being eligible for certain types of employment or having restrictions on their ability to travel.

and the truly frightening thing is that governors have absolute authority when it comes to granting these sorts of pardons. for victims, there is no recourse to have them turned over. cnn legal analyst jeffrey toobin, looking bewildered and forlorn, confirmed this to anderson cooper the day the story hit.

except.

enter jim hood, the state attorney general and therefore mississippi's highest ranking legal authority. hood either has an uncanny memory for the law or a crack staff, because he has been able to exploit a little-known quirk in the state's constitution that requiring a governor wishing to grant a pardon to advertise this at least 30 days in advance of when the pardon is to be granted. and in many of the cases, barbour did not do so. in any other state, the victims' and their families would be s.o.l., but in mississippi, there is some faint hope, especially in light of the fact that hood has a real bee in his bonnet about reversing the most questionable of the pardons.

part of me wishes that hood wasn't the only democrat serving in a republican government, so that he could not be accused- as he has been- of using the case for political ends. because it does seem that he really wants to find a way to help. he's already received an injunction on the pardons [although all but 27 of those pardoned had already been released] while his office sifts through the gubernatorial rubble to determine which pardons can be reversed on the basis that they violated the state's constitution.

it promises to be an uphill battle. four murderers have already disappeared from the grid, presumably out of state, before the injunction- which would have required them to report their whereabouts to the authorities- was granted. hood's office can search for them, but the fact that these people no longer have criminal records means that he cannot do the most effective thing- issue a warrant for their arrest. plus, of course, it will take time to determine who among the pardoned can even be reincarcerated on the basis that the pardon was improperly granted.

but i wish him the best. there's an old joke that 99% of lawyers make all the others look bad. apparently, jim hood is the 1%.

well, normally i do more favourites than that, but since these were a couple of particularly wordy favourites, i'll stop there. well, o.k., one more, just because it's so spectacularly bizarre and unbelievable that i feel like i have to post it here before someone in newt gingrich's entourage realises it's the worst idea ever in political campaigning and yanks it from the internet. behold, if you dare, team gingrich's new weapon against current republican pack leader mitt romney:

aside from the fact that i live in a french-speaking province and watching this makes me want to get all 1812 on newt's ass, the idea that speaking french somehow disqualifies one from being president reaffirms just about every awful stereotype that people have about americans. and doing that is absolutely something that should disqualify one from being president. what the heck is the point of having a president who makes you look bad? [then again, i seem to recall that in 2008 the g.o.p. tried to make an issue out of the fact that barack obama said he regretted that he hadn't ever learned another language, as if this somehow meant he was unpatriotic, so perhaps this is a more commonly employed tactic than i realised.]

it bears mentioning that the image of the effete, ineffectual frenchman is largely a u.s. caricature. anyone who believes that the french are all excessively liberal should google jean-marie le pen. or for that matter, visit eastern quebec. not exactly a bastion of liberal thought.

ironically, there is a story tangentially related to romney's french fluency that would make an appropriate target for political opponents: he learned french while living in france in the 60s, where his father sent him so that he could avoid the draft to vietnam. however, since gingrich also received deferments to avoid the draft, he can't really start that fight.

but in the meantime, this horrendously awesome ad exists to entertain us all. and to help us separate the thinking people [who will be the ones laughing] from the douchebags.

so that's it for this week. i'm currently looking out at our second straight day of snowstorm and thinking about how wonderful it's going to feel to walk out there into the gloom and run some errands. i'd be tempted to throw down some serious snow angels, but i have to admit that knowing what most montreal streets look like under the fluffy and fresh white blanket is a pretty powerful reason to do no such thing.

temperatures are supposed to drop to around -20C for the entire weekend, so i suspect that this will be my last opportunity to venture into the outside world for a few days without risking death and dismemberment. out of curiosity, does anyone know what happens to zombies in the cold? i mean, without internally generated body heat, do they just freeze up in place like grotesque statues? i'm trying to see if there's an upside to montreal winters i might not have considered.

have a great week everyone and, if you're in an area that's going to be frozen over this weekend, remember it makes a fine excuse to cuddle. like so:

ever wondered why

2012-01-12T17:00:00.000-05:00

... you pay such high retail markup on everything, even though the basic costs are relatively low? sure, there's budgets for advertising, discounts, returns, damaged goods, packaging, employee salaries and such. but next time you buy something, keep in mind that you're also helping to offset the cost of doing clever things like this:

oh and in case that wasn't embarrassing enough... there were two more similarly sized items on this order that were shipped separately. the next day.

zero to hero? [movie review :: super]

2012-01-12T13:34:00.002-05:00

that "super" comes from the mind of writer/ director james gunn gives it a somewhat promising start. his previous indie efforts have been oddball and at the least interesting to watch and have their own unique spin on genre films. this is actually his second stab at a superhero story, after he wrote the script for "the specials", but rather than dealing with people who have actual super-powers, "super" is the story of one man who simply decides to become a superhero, without the normal mutations.

rainn wilson, best known as the uptight salesman-cum-beet farmer dwight schrute from the american version of "the office", stars as frank, an average [at best] guy who's married to sarah, the girl of his dreams [liv tyler], until she abandons him to go back to her former life as a drug addict with slick lothario jacques [kevin bacon]. bereft and profoundly depressed by this turn of events, frank is at a loss until he is touched by the finger of god and has the idea to take revenge on those who prey on misery and weakness.

aided by tiny, precocious comic store employee libby [ellen page], he concocts an alter ego called "the crimson bolt", who trolls the city for ne'er-do-wells in a hilariously ill-advised spandex mask and suit and exacts justice by thumping petty criminals on the head with a pipe wrench.

libby becomes aware of his secret identity and signs herself on as "boltie", the robin to his batman. able to indulge her own superhero fantasies, of course, libby turns out to be nearly completely psychotic and impossible to control, whose violent streak ups the ante of their crusading.

fighting crime on the street, though, is really a prelude to frank/ the crimson bolt's real mission: to rescue sarah and win her back from jacques and his gang of thugs.

the concept of the everyday guy with no special resources has a lot of possibilities- the positive message that anyone can find a superhero within, the comic possibilities of an actual superhero thrown into a modern city, the relationships between the various screwball characters- but it feels like, in an effort to keep the comedy dark and give the film a more typically "indie" feel, that gunn made some peculiar choices.

since we meet sarah when she's already pulling away from frank, we don't know her very well. and that doesn't change. she's a whacked-out blank slate for pretty much the entire film and the qualities that ultimately make her so special are articulated through frank, rather than shown. this is all the more obvious when contrasted with the over-the-top, explosive libby. from the first scene where she appears, page dominates the screen and the narrative, obscuring anything else that hoves into view. page's undeniable strength becomes the film's weakness, because the others just can't keep up. next to her, sarah's greatest strength is that she at least seems calm, but decidedly pallid.

the film also has an irritatingly hipster-ish soundtrack, which is not the thing that would sort of irritate me- or at least is the kind of thing i could normally tune out- except that it is all-pervasive. whether it's score or soundtrack, there is always jangly indie music chugging through the background [or, in a lot of cases in the foreground] and it becomes almost unbelievably distracting.

but the film's most problematic area can be laid directly at the doorstep of james gunn himself. despite being a dark-tinged comedy for its first two acts, the film takes an abrupt turn when it comes time for the crimson bolt and boltie to execute their raid on jacques' compound [in the middle of a high-stakes drug deal]. suddenly, you're watching a full-on, hurmourless action film with violent death, maiming and rape leading, of course, to a dramatic confrontation between frank and jacques that makes oliver stone seem light-handed. neither wilson nor bacon- nor tyler, who mostly whimpers in a corner- is up to the task of heavy drama and the weightiness of the script pulls them down with it.

it's a shame, because the opening of the story has great promise and much of the humour will crack you up at the same time you think "i shouldn't be laughing". during those times, you can see a pathos and vulnerability to frank that is lost when things get more "intense".

there's a fair amount of good in the film, but the pervading sense of confusion over style and message means that those things aren't necessarily what you'll remember.

making faces :: another bunny tale

2012-01-11T14:54:00.000-05:00

i promised that i'd follow up my previous post on cult cosmetic favourite rouge bunny rouge to let you know my thoughts on their "hues of enchantment" formula lipstick. i also decided that it might be a nice idea to post some comparisons of all the rbr products i bought, rather than just telling you that the shades were unique.

if you'd like to see my original review- with the "when birds are singing" shadows and the sheer lipsticks "succulence of dew" [i am still in love with those category names, as i am with most things rouge bunny rouge] by going here.

"hues of enchantment" is the family of rouge bunny rouge lipsticks that are more opaque. some look to have a frostier finish, but the shade that i got, "word of mouth", is a smooth, wearable red with no discernible shimmer. while not quite as super-soft as the sheer lipsticks, "word of mouth" is still very gentle on the lips. it feels creamy without being heavy and has the same beneficial nutrients as all the other rbr lipsticks. the difference between the two is chiefly in the pigment level.

although the formula definitely offers more coverage than the "succulence of dew" lipsticks, i wouldn't say that it's completely opaque. i'd liken the coverage to mac's cremesheen finish or chanel's rouge allure, where the coverage is good, but the colour of your lips can still affect the final shade a little. on those with more pigmented lips, i would expect that this shade [and probably the others in this family] would be darker than on me.

despite the fact that the coverage is fuller, i actually found that this shade lasted less time than the "succulence of dew" shades that i tried. after about three hours or so, the colour had faded enough that i reapplied it. i'd say that that's a bit below average for a full-finish lipstick, but it is about the same as i get from the comparable finishes in mac and chanel. a couple of things worth considering about this:

1. lipsticks generally do not last as long on me as they seem to on others.

2. my lips have been particularly dry lately, which usually means even less wear time for most lipstick formulas, no matter how good.

like their sheerer cousins, i do recommend these lipsticks for people who live in climates with a real winter. unlike a lot of lipstick formulas- even ones that are not drying most of the time- these will treat your lips with love and respect, no matter how foul the weather gets.

"word of mouth" is described by its maker as "creamy, shiny finish cool cherry syrup - the little black dress of lipsticks, very pretty and feminine", which is both evocative and pretty accurate. the shade applies very evenly, with a nice shine that resolves into a more satiny finish after a half hour or so. if we're talking fruits, i'd describe the shade as being more like a strawberry red than cherry, since it's not particularly cool. i'd describe it as a pretty neutral red that would suit either warm or cool complexions nicely. it's also a perfect red for people who aren't super comfortable with reds. although the shades are quite different, it reminded me a bit of yves st. laurent's "rouge vermilion", in that they're both quite muted, office-friendly reds.

in terms of shades that it did remind me of, i went through my collection to see what was in the same neighbourhood. [note to self- it is not a great idea to do swatches for all your upcoming reviews at once. in fact it can be flat-out painful when you polish the first eight layers of skin off your inner arm.] as i've mentioned before, i have a real red army of lipsticks, but one of the reasons i've assembled that [aside from the fact that i plan to eventually animate them and send them out into the world to do my bidding] is because i there is a remarkable variety of red lipstick shades available. case and point: i didn't have a dupe for this one, despite the fact that it doesn't appear at first glance to be an especially complex red.

chanel "antigone" is similar in the tube, but pinker and much sheerer. guerlain "rouge sensuel" is closer, but brighter and a bit cooler [and, although it's a little difficult to see swatched on my arm, the coverage is a bit sheerer as well].

chanel antigone, rbr word of mouth, guerlain rouge sensuel [l.e.]

not content to offer comparisons on just this one shade, i thought i'd go back and look at ones for the other shades that i reviewed. honestly, these were even harder to match.

"murmurings" is unique to my collection just because of the finish. swatched on skin, it almost looks more like a heavy gloss [think chanel's extrait de gloss formula], but on the lips, it's clearly a lipstick. since i didn't have any glosses that came close in colour, i compared it to other lipsticks only, but i think that the difference in texture is pretty clear in the photo.

guerlain "rouge sensuel" [again] is brighter and considerably redder. mac "viva glam cyndi" is redder as well. neither has the plum-tone of "murmurings". mac "party line" is a lot darker.

guerlain rouge sensuel [l.e.], mac viva glam cyndi [l.e.], rbr murmurings, mac party line

i felt like "dark juices" was quite different than anything else i had and doing a comparison just confirmed that. mac "one of a kind" is deeper and looks much pinker by comparison. mac "call my bluff" is a warmer, browner taupe- i couldn't believe how yellow it looked next to "dark juices". mac "naked paris" is deeper and redder. honestly, these are the closest colours i have in my collection. i'll say it one more time: it's quite a unique shade.

mac one of a kind [l.e.], mac call my bluff [l.e.], rbr dark juices, mac naked paris

moving on to the eye shadows, i knew right away that i had absolutely nothing like "periwinkle cardinal", but i figured i'd show it next to the closest shades in my collection, just for kicks. so here it is next to mac "aquavert" [much lighter] and mac "unsurpassable" [yellower and has more of a sparkle than a shimmer].

mac aquavert [l.e.], rbr periwinkle cardinal, mac unsurpassable [l.e.]

of course, once i'd put everything else, it occurred to me that i'd forgotten to compare it to my loose pigments, which is especially lame since i compared it to a pigment in my initial review... so i pulled out the pigments and swatched it next to mac "antique green" [darker and less blue] and "emerald dusk" [darker and more blue]. although neither of these is a match, i do think that "periwinkle cardinal" would look beautiful paired with either one of these.

mac antique green, rbr periwinkle cardinal, mac emerald dusk

and finally, here's a comparison of "angelic cockatiels" with some other shadows. it's funny, because when i started swatching it against other neutral shades [chanel "beige lamé", urban decay "sin"] it looked quite orange. so i decided to compare it to a couple of orange shades as well {mac "flip" and "straw harvest"] and it seemed pinker and more neutral. overall, i'd say that the closest colour to it is "sin", but it's still considerably lighter and pinker.

chanel beige lamé, mac flip [l.e.], rbr angelic cockatiels, urban decay sin, mac straw harvest [l.e.]

so that completes our look at my first box of goodies from rouge bunny rouge, procured through the fine folk at zuneta. i definitely plan on going back for more and, if you'd like to try them out for yourself [they carry a number of harder-to-find brands], they're currently having a 20% off promotion with the code ELLE20. [thanks to perilously pale for sharing that info!]

i'm shockingly backed-up on things to review, so expect more very shortly...

om nom nom :: restaurant review [poissonerie omega]

2012-01-09T17:27:00.001-05:00

a few weeks ago, my friend martin [also], a devout foodie, took me out for lunch to help kick my ass out of an end-of-year kind of depressive slump. somewhat bored with options both in our own neighbourhood and in the plateau [which is where we often end up], we settled on finding something in cote-des-neiges, crammed as it is with eating establishments of various sorts, most of them highly affordable.

we ventured down lacombe street, which certainly has its fair share of places and were thinking of going to frites alors. while that would have been fine, it did sort of defeat the purpose of getting out of a rut if we ended up going to a different location of a franchise where we had eaten many times before. so martin suggested we check out "the fish place next door". as a maritimer, the idea of eating fish in a non-ocean-adjacent city at a place that looked a little dive-y had me nervous, but i figured that it was at least something new.

upon entering, while the place definitely had the decor of a shish-taouk takeout, i was surprised to a selection of fresh fish laid out for us to choose from. far from a fast food joint, the presentation was more like a specialty market. the menu was not huge- it had between half a dozen and ten selections- but it was certainly less generic than i was expecting.

martin ordered a fish and chips, while i went with the calamari- basic staples, yes, but ones which are often poorly prepared.

the gentleman behind the counter set to work, battering and frying the fish/ seafood himself, illustrating that the counter display wasn't just for show. most times you get fried fish, you're getting something that's been battered and frozen, then just tossed in a fryer as a finishing touch. at omega, you're getting the real deal.

most surprising to me- the seafood snob- was that the fare was actually really damn good. my calamari were perfectly cooked, which is rare. a lot of times, calamari are served too soft/ mushy [undercooked] or become rubbery [overcooked]. as ubiquitous as they've become, they're remarkably finicky to work with.

martin's fish and chips [haddock] were amazing. the crust had a perfect crunchiness to it, while underneath was a perfect fluffy batter and delectable fish that almost melted together. the fish was not overbreaded and everything was moist without being mushy- the sort of delightful texture that most places fail to achieve.

as you might expect from the decor, omega is also budget friendly. dishes range from $8.95- $16.95, some permanent and some daily selections. they're also a fish market, so you can take some of those tasty-looking catches home with you to cook later.

omega is as unpretentious as it gets- there is a small number of tables, no liquor license and a restricted menu. it's not the kind of place you're going to want to take someone for a first date. but after you've gotten to know each other and you'd prefer to enjoy each other's company over some tasty, hearty food, then this is the exact sort of place you're seeking.

poissonerie omega
3525 lacombe, montreal
514.461.9554

making faces :: show me the bunny!

2012-01-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

the internet can be a dangerous place. it can be dangerous when you interact with strangers, when you make personal or financial information available, and when you leave records of things you shouldn't be doing in your cache. these have all been explored. less attention, however, is granted to the alarming dangers the internet can present to your wallet, especially when you stumble across something like the russian-based, british-born makeup brand rouge bunny rouge.

i first heard of them as a "cult favourite" and the more i read, the more apt that description seemed. there were rave reviews and swatches on blogs and those who were into them were really into them, despite the fact that their products are fiendishly difficult to find, available almost exclusively to much of the world through british luxury cosmetics store zuneta. which piques a girl's curiosity. so i checked out their web site, which was just that more dangerous because it was so charmingly odd. meant to evoke images of both victorian england and the tsarist age in russia, the site [and the product packaging] is filled with whimsical, almost edward gorey-esque drawings of scenes from an enchanted garden, the basis of the fairytale that rbr gives as the genesis of the brand. you can read it here.

the brand truly draws you into its own world, where, along with extolling the more mundane features and benefits of their products, the playful minds behind the enchanted garden rekindle some of that innocent childlike wonder of discovering magical powders and creams that transform the world into a fantasy.

but the practical side of me wants products that are as stellar as the stars over the garden, especially since the prices for these little lovelies are not exactly faerie dust.

taking the word of other beauty bloggers, whose experience is broader than mine, i decided to take advantage of zuneta's post-holiday sale and see what all the hype was about.

typical of me, i jumped in with both feet, ordering two of their "when birds are singing" eye shadows, two of their "succulence of dew" sheer lipsticks [since when do i order sheer lipsticks on a first date?] and one of their "hues of enchantment" colour burst, fuller coverage lipsticks. well, what can i say? it was a really good sale. [fyi, as i haven't had the time to test it out thoroughly, i'll be reviewing that last lipstick on its own a little later.]

the most popular/ recommended shades of rbr eye shadow were actually out of stock by the time i got to the sale. [apparently, you have to get up pretty early- literally, considering they're on gmt- if you want to get the hottest items from a zuneta sale.] so i decided to try a couple of colours i hadn't seen often in reviews, but whose descriptions sounded intriguing- "periwinkle cardinal" and "angelic cockatiels".

this might be a good time to point out that all of rbr's eye shadows are named for birds, which is related to the tale of their origins:

The firefly festival is eagerly awaited all year in the Enchanted Garden. For then on this very special day, the best voices of the bird-world feed on tiny fireworks to embellish their voices and then gather to perform a single concert together. Their jubilant musical notes are inscribed in a syrup of figs and milk and preserved in tiny pots to be enjoyed all year round. Like this golden froth of musical syrup, WHEN BIRDS ARE SINGING... eye shadows are a time defying exotic enigma. This is plumage to adorn you in shades as deliciously mellow as soft silence that flows, or as brilliantly potent as jewelled notes. So addictive are these morsels that you’ll be causing your own kaleidoscopic ripples every time you wear them.

seriously, how scrumptious is that?

FOLLOW ME INTO THE GARDEN...

periwinkle cardinal

"periwinkle cardinal" is described as an "iridescent, pale silver moss green, with a hint of golden highlights", which is a pretty accurate. what attracted me to this shade was that it's a cooler green, which is rarer than you might think in the world of eye shadow. although there is a hint of gold in it, the colour remains a very cool sea-foam shade whether it's applied lightly or layered for a more dramatic effect. the combination of shimmer, coolness and rich, buildable pigment makes this unique. mac's emerald dusk pigment is darker and greyer, but it was the closest i could think of [not very close]. i really don't have a similar shade anywhere in my collection.

angelic cockatiels

"angelic cockatiels", a "metallic-finish golden honey, with a hint of copper" is described as being an excellent highlighting shadow, but i think that might be a bit of a stretch on very fair complexions. it is quite pigmented, so it works best for me as a lid colour [although i can apply it very lightly under my brows]. the colour is a light, very shimmery amber, again, quite different than more coppery shades like mac's "amber lights" or the limited edition shade "flip" and warmer than "sweet satisfaction". i've been told it's something like mac's "naked lunch", but much more shimmery [i don't have that one, so i can't say for sure].

as far as the quality... dozens of women who test and write about beauty products on a weekly basis are unlikely to be wrong. this is one of those rare cases where something absolutely lives up to the hype. i'm tempted to believe that there is something to the fairy stories and that sprites are weaving these together from magical bird songs, because there is nothing i've tried that compares to the rich, creamy texture of these little powders. and that includes most cream shadows i've tried. the shades shift subtly in the light, much like bird feathers, actually and the application is so easy, it almost seems like the colours know what to do before the brush touches your eyelid. seriously, it's a bit spooky.

as far as the lipsticks, i was a little unsure of what to expect. i'd heard good things, but they aren't as widely reviewed as the shadows. however, i am a lipstick lover and i would just feel weird about not trying them.

as i mentioned, there are two lipstick formulas. the first "succulence of dew" are sheer colours, although, having tried them, i'd refer to them more as semi-opaque, as they seemed to deposit a fiar amount of colour on my lips. women with more pigmented lips than i might find the colour less pronounced.

dark juices

"dark juices" is supposed to be a "shiny, sheer blue-toned plum, shimmering with silver", but when i first looked at it, i felt it looked more like a frosty taupe. however, on application, whether because it melded with the colour of my lips or because there's more to the colour than is immediately apparent, there was a distinct mauve tone. there is certainly silver shimmer throughout, but it doesn't read like a traditional frost finish. it's more like it stays very dewy-looking on the lips. i really had trouble coming up with a "near neighbour" shade for this. about the closest i could think of was the limited edition mac shade "pet me please", which was similarly difficult to describe [and similarly fascinating]. i'd be surprised if you had a shade that looks a lot like this one.

dark juices

murmurings

"murmurings" has one of my favourite descriptions ever: "wet effect, sheer, cool damson - like having just eaten a bowl of cherries". although i actually think cherries leave a darker, cooler stain, i do get the fruity, juicy connection, because this shade does give a glossy berry-tint to the lips that's just luscious. they aren't kidding about the "wet effect"- it is pretty glossy even after you've been wearing it for a while. i find that the close-up shot, while it gives a nice idea of the colour, is a bit misleading, because it makes it look somewhat brighter than it reads when you see it "in context". it's a little more pigmented and noticeable than your typical "my lips but better" shade. it's kind of "my lips but perfect". it makes my lips look brighter, redder, smoother, shinier, fuller... you see where this is going.

murmurings- up close

murmurings- human distance

the formula is, once again, superlative. loaded with ingredients to soften and plump and lift and probably give public speeches for you if you're nervous, i highly recommend that you order whatever shade catches your fancy, because these are exactly what your lips want during the chill winter months. they feel velvety soft on application and they continue to feel that way. being sheerer, the colour won't last as long as really bright or dark lipsticks, but "murmurings" lasted as well as softer colours in chanel's "rouge allure" formula and "dark juices", despite being quite light, lasted even longer. even after four hours and a couple of cups of tea, it was still hanging around. both shades actually look lovely when they fade as well, since they do so very evenly. not ring of shame around the outer lips. neither colour showed any sign of bleeding, which is almost shocking for such a moisturising formula. the faeries know how to make a lipstick!

looking at the zuneta web site, i noticed this:

Be warned, once you fall down the rabbit hole and try this brand there is no going back….

they aren't kidding. i've fallen down the rabbit hole. i ate the mushroom. i smoked the hookah. whatever was going to get me in trouble, it's happened. the temptations of the enchanted garden are, in the end, too great to resist and until i can runaway and live there [i'm hoping that the cats won't cause problems for the birds and bunnies], i'm going to have to just keep sampling the divine powders and potions that they release into the world of mortals.

here's a little something i threw together with a couple of the above mentioned products. fyi, after more than twelve hours of wear, even the stalwart ysl shadow had started to fade, but the rbr was hanging tough.

products used

face ::
mac prolongwear foundation "nc 15"
dr. hauschka concealer "01"

eyes ::
mac e/s "vex" [greenish ivory with pink sheen]
rbr e/s "periwinkle cardinal" [shimmery cool light green]
ysl e/s "slate green" [deep cool green]
mac e/s "birds & berries"* [deep teal]
mac superslick liquid liner "on the hunt" [black]
mac eye kohl "smolder" [black]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
edward bess quad royale "south of france" [mauve-pink with gold shimmer]
mac blush ombre "springshine"* [tawny brown]

lips ::
rbr l/s "dark juices" [mauve-taupe with silver shimmer]

*suggested alternates :: birds & berries = mac shimmermoss is lighter/ brighter, i have heard that rouge bunny rouge "mysterious tinamou" is actually very close to the same colour; springshine = benefit hoola

rouge bunny rouge is available around the world through zuneta and i would feel remiss if i didn't mention what a fantastic service they offer. their turnaround time to get me my order was less than a week- i received a shipping notification and the package was dispatched via courier. everything arrived carefully packed, so all that rushing to get it to me didn't endanger the product any. their prices are usually given in british pounds [although, if you want to add another layer of confusion, you can switch to american dollars]. after spot checking a few brands, pricing is equivalent to what you would pay in the united states. their sales, while competitive, are substantial, so it's worth subscribing to their newsletter to ensure you get a head's up. i checked the web site as i was writing this and most things seem to be back in stock.

dissecting the iowa carcass

2012-01-05T18:23:00.001-05:00

i can't believe i watched the whole thing.

well, actually, i have to admit that i passed out before wolf blitzer went all rogue and started calling iowa election staff in the middle of the night, but i made it almost all the way. with a small nap in the middle, because it turns out that watching iowa caucus results come in isn't quite as exciting [or as tweet-worthy] as watching these guys debate each other.

but the first big challenge is over and one more participant has been voted off the grand old island, while one of the last remaining non-romneys has seen his star rise. a few thoughts on the whole shebang:

- ok, i really got it wrong with santorum. he'd been languishing in the basement of the polls everywhere for so long i just figured it was impossible that he'd ever get his turn as the flavour of the week. but with a barrage of negative ads having disarmed the newt-ron bomb, indeed, voters turned to rick santorum in a last-ditch effort not to vote for mitt romney. i guess it's only fair, since the guy's basically been living in iowa for the last several months. it does worry me a little that santa is apparently a rabid born-again, seeing as santorum got the biggest present of any republican, but i'm hoping i'll have a chance to live a long and interesting life before i'm condemned to the fires of hell.

santorum has been consistently my least favourite candidate, simply because almost everything he says is antithetical to my thoughts and to my idea of human decency. in the debates, practically every word out of his mouth has been a hateful indictment of some minority- muslims, gays, the poor, planned parenthood. but i've never laboured under the illusion that most people agree with me and spreading hate, xenophobia and suspicion has always been an effective political tactic.

even if they're expensive, mitt, they're a bad idea

i will, however, give the guy one thing. watching his speech and romney's late tuesday night. it occurred to me as we were lying in bed [me and dom, not me and rick santorum!!!] and dom said "he seems a lot less irritating". it was true. when santorum isn't talking about invading countries and groups he hates and removing america's meagre social safety net, he actually comes off as kind of a nice, funny, well-meaning christian boy. he joked about the amount he'd been eating while in iowa. he showed a genuine uxoriousness towards his wife and he was friendly with those who had assembled and hung in for the duration. it's not enough to make me like him, but i the contrast between him and romney-bot 2000 speaking immediately afterward could not have been more stark. sure, they've tried to make romney seem more human by stuffing him in a pair of ill-advised mom jeans, but he still looked stiff and tense. it makes me feel awkward seeing him on television and i can't imagine the experience is much better in person.

if you need a reminder of what type of politician americans prefer, think back to 2000 and 2004, when folksy, goofy, inarticulate george w. bush defeated al gore and then john kerry. santorum may simply be one more flash in the pan, but he's flashed [wow, bad wording -ed.] at an opportune time.

- i'd like to know who got to rick perry after his concession speech and convinced him to stay in the race. perry appeared, his usual texas swagger knock out of him, and declared that he was headed back home to reconsider his nomination bid, which is sort of like saying that he just didn't want to bum people out further by backing out that night. fair enough.

but the next morning, he's on a plane to south carolina shouting "yeeha" and damning the iowan torpedoes. wtf?

if i were a less charitable person, i'd intimate that he was drunk, or taking pills for back pain, but i don't think that's it at all. i suspect that his backers- very wealthy people [including corporations, since republicans think they're people] who have a vested interest in getting a republican back in the white house. and perhaps they think that he can regroup by re-focusing his efforts in south carolina, since southerners do have a tendency to be more receptive to candidates from south of the mason-dixon line. but i also suspect that some of them are aware that of all the candidates running, mitt romney is the only one who polls well against barack obama. keeping perry in the race splits the fundamentalist conservative vote, whereas his exit would likely send them all running to santorum. it wouldn't surprise me if perry was being used as a pawn and is just a bit too thick/ egotistical/ medicated to notice.

never smile at a crocodile. or any dangerous lizard.

- did anyone else think newt gingrich was on the verge of going thermonuclear when he spoke on tuesday night? if i were mitt romney and ron paul, i wouldn't be worried that he was going to start going negative on me. i'd be worried that he was going to break in and slit my throat in my sleep. i'd forgotten just how scary he could get.

i also found it interesting that he's taken on the role of rick santorum's enforcer. it's a calculated risk. going on the attack will likely be the death knell for his own campaign, since newt really tends to come off badly when he's lashing out/ throwing a tantrum. but with another slew of debates coming up, he has the potential to damage both romney and paul [neither of whom are as skilled a debater as he], while allowing his new bff santorum to stay relatively clean [and just possibly negotiate a spot for himself on a santorum-lead ticket].

on the other hand, newt's been written off before and has been resurrected, much like jason vorhees and freddy kruger, so i'm unwilling to say it's over for him.

- some were predicting that congressman ron paul might win iowa and although he fell short, he showed that he does have a considerable base and that he's effectively been spreading his message [he won only one county in his 2008 nomination bid]. i think his greatest accomplishment in iowa has been forcing the media to mention his name, something they seemed almost superstitiously unwilling to do earlier in the campaign.

- it is with a heavy heart that we say farewell to michele bachmann, truly a favourite among those of us who have turned to the republican nomination race as a sort of demented reality show with a political overtone. although she had a strong performance in one of the early debates [possibly because expectations were pretty low -ed.] and iowa handed her a victory in their apparently pointless ames straw poll, she finished dead last in the caucus. [john huntsman doesn't count and, if his questionable new hampshire strategy doesn't pay off, may go down as the only candidate never to gain momentum in this race.] despite her strangely upbeat speech the night of the vote- which had me thinking that her people had been shielding her from the actual results- she dropped out the next morning.

i'm sure that we haven't seen the last of her, although with all the "eccentricities" [that's kind -ed.] that have come to the fore regarding her past statements and unorthodox beliefs, i rather doubt she'll be able to mount another presidential campaign.

of course today, we have the show's first dropout, hermain cain, attempting his own spinoff, starting a bus tour to promote his 9-9-9 tax plan. this is an interesting way for him to spend time with his family, which is why he said he was leaving the race to begin with. i'm hoping he ends up moderating a debate somewhere along the line.

on a side note, making cnn stars wolf blitzer, john king and anderson cooper, as well as their political pundits, stay up until all hours is t.v. gold. as i remember, things started to get a little wacky when cooper admitted he had no idea what their space-aged twitter-tracker did and got a bit cracked up... and then that spread... and seemed to get nuttier. dubbed "cnn after dark" by cooper himself, it was a hilariously humanising touch to a network that often seems too full of itself for its own good.so could all you new hampshire election-folks please give us another all-nighter next week? thx.

dj kali & mr. dna @ the caustic lounge 04.01.12

2012-01-05T10:02:00.000-05:00

the first caustic lounge of 2012 was indeed a great time, one of the best [if not the best] thus far. both mr. dna and i had a fantastic time and we hope that all who attended will remember it fondly. drinks were had, laughs were shared, underwear was removed... and oh yes, music filled the air. i'm not sure how we'll top things next month, but we'll sure try. thanks to all who attended!

mr. dna

coldcut :: return to margin
blur :: battle
p.j. harvey :: my beautiful leah
primal scream :: higher than the sun
the cure :: at night
hot chip :: playboy
depeche mode :: blasphemous rumours
front 242 :: quite unusual
soft cell :: memorabilia
orchestral manoeuvres in the dark :: electricity
polysics :: black out, fall out
ash :: cantina band
stereolab :: contronatura
new order :: the perfect kiss
lcd soundsystem :: us vs them
the rapture :: out of the races and onto the tracks
franz ferdinand :: do you want to? (erol alkan mix)
can :: mushroom

dj kali

the death sound :: this sick feeling
coil :: windowpane
lcx999 :: white ring
scorn :: light trap
numb :: revenant
imminent :: garn
mika vainio :: goths
calva y nada :: algazara
von magnet :: kedma
soft moon :: out of time
stephen spera :: the sound of the crowd
wall of voodoo :: they don't want me
hula :: ghost rattle
simple minds :: the american
ait! :: i wanna be your mann
clock dva :: techno geist
xeno & oaklander :: staircase
november novelet :: my fairy place
crystal castles :: empathy
klangstabil :: anti-communication
mu-ziq :: wannabe
o paradis :: luz del presente
lycia :: through the smoke and nails
current 93 :: fields of rape
november novelet :: fear
maska genetik :: white tracks
cocteau twins :: wax and wane
butthole surfers :: cherub
death in june :: love murder
novy svet :: en possession de te

the montreal metro project, part 7

2012-01-03T16:24:00.000-05:00

i hadn't posted a new installment of this in a while, but there are still more photos from the metro system! this is actually the second-last installment and features stations from the western end of the green line- the part to the west of the downtown section.

i'll admit, this is an area of the city that i know very little about, probably because it's largely residential and i've never lived there, nor had any close friends who lived there. like its east-end counterpart, it tends to be traditionally working class, although parts of it are starting to lose a touch of their traditional grit. the neighbourhood of verdun, which makes up much of the territory covered by the green line, used to be known as the borough of choice for the hell's angels, back when the biker wars were in full force.

although it's not what you'd call "hip", the area does boast large apartments at prices lower than much of the rest of the city and, since it's on the metro line, i'd say it's only a matter of time before gentrification starts to take hold.

this is charlevoix station, which is supposedly the deepest station on the network. however, i don't think that is measuring the depth of the station below the ground, but the depth of the station compared to sea level. it's in the neighbourhood of pointe-st-charles, one of montreal's poorest, which exists in a sort of hollow, so that its denizens are always looking up at the rest of the city.

next along the line, we have lasalle station, which competes with de la savane as my favourite on the whole network. seriously, just look at these photos... it's that surreal and disorienting and wonderfully strange when you're in it as well. and, in the third photo, you can see how the entrance is flooded with natural light. win.

by contrast, metro de l'eglise isn't quite so exciting, although it is located in an oddly trendy strip of verdun, lined with indie coffee shops and cute restaurants. and it does have some interesting cement architecture, particularly around the escalators.

this is verdun metro, which has pretty eye-catching architecture. it's also the only station where i was forced to stop taking photographs because i didn't have a permit...

jolicoeur metro, which is kind of cool with its bright orange accents on the platform...

... but really nice with its sunlit mezzanine.

the wavy walls at monk metro make me feel slightly like i've eaten something i shouldn't have. or am having a flashback to when i ate something i shouldn't have in my youth.

but the real story here is upstairs... seriously, these things are bizarre and made of awesome. i tried to capture just how big the giant stick people from another planet are, because believe me, they're huge. they tower over you looking like a hybrid of a human and a praying mantis from another dimension, making you feel vaguely like they're about to reach down and start playing volleyball with your head. or someone else's head, if you're lucky.

these last two are shots of angrignon station, the western terminus of the green line. you can easily see what this station has going for it: natural light and lots of it. it also opens on one side to a large park where you can frolic in nature before zipping back to the city. the station is at the border between the boroughs of verdun to the east and lasalle to the west. lasalle is generally considered the gateway to the west island suburbs, which are entirely cut off from metro service.

making faces 2011 :: pretty things

2012-01-01T03:21:00.000-05:00

beauty is skin deep... which is why they keep the skin

although it's been an interest of mine since i was very young and playing with colours to see how i could change my face, this is the first year i started writing about beauty products on the blog. i think that this is largely because i had internalised the belief that an interest in beauty was automatically frivolous when compared to other things. however, more recently i've come to realise that i am an aesthete in many ways and my interest in cosmetics is just one more expression of that. so while it isn't a creative pursuit, i also don't find it any more frivolous than an interest in listening to other people's music, reading other people's books or having any form of collection. these are all things to be admired for the pleasure they bring us. i also don't find taking pride in one's appearance to be particularly shallow or vain. on the contrary, it's a way of expressing that i want others to perceive me as i perceive myself and of giving life to the many versions of the person i am. and having realised that, i realised that this interest was worth sharing as much as anything else i write about here.

all that to say that this was something new i tried this year and i'm happy i did. especially because it was such a banner year for a beauty addict.

up until this year, i had actually been a pretty fierce mac loyalist. although i'd always picked up little treats for myself at the drugstore, mac were the ones who really wowed me with their selection of colours. although i'd tried some others, my focus remained pretty narrow. in the last year and a half or so, however, i decided to branch out and see what else was around. now, my interest is pretty broad, which gives me a lot more options and also a lot more choices to make.

this process was aided by the fact that i felt my old standby mac had one of the weakest years since i've been a fan [since the late 90s]. although there were some gems, there was nothing like the collections of 2010, which i'd consider the strongest year they've ever had. i love their strategy of releasing multiple collections with off-kilter [i.e., not simply seasonal] themes, but it does seem like their attempt to launch so many collections has resulted in an overall decline in quality. with the price increases they've instigated [particularly targeting their "home market" in canada] they'll soon be in the same price range as brands like nars and laura mercier, but they aren't at their level in terms of quality. watch your back, mac.

i'd advise mac to look out particularly for polish-born brand inglot. i've become more familiar with their products this year and, at prices lower than mac [and, depending on how many you buy, lower than some drugstore brands], their quality is unparalleled. sorry, let me clarify: inglot's shimmer and satin finish shadows compete with higher-end brands, but their matte shadows are, hands down, the best on the market. no fooling. better than matte finishes from any other brand. yes folks, they're that good. and since they currently have their 10-pan palettes on special for $70cad, that means you can get those shadows for $7 a piece. pretty amazing if you ask me.

seriously, inglot are, as far as i'm concerned, the biggest new player on the market. i'm guessing it's a matter of time until one of the big colour cosmetics giants- l'oreal, estee lauder, lvmh or shiseido- snatches them up. truly, they'd be fools not to.

over the past year, i've also developed new favourite brands for different reasons. in fact, i've developed a lot of love for a lot of different brands, because i've had such great experiences with them. but there are a few particular favourites that stand out in my memory.

so without further ado, here are the "winners" of the first annual "more like space preserved head awards". because who wouldn't want to add a shrunken head to their trophy cabinet?

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL WORLD...

eyes ::

armani eyes to kill shadows :: at $42cad, these are stupidly expensive and hard to get [you can order them for less money from nordstrom and neiman marcus in the u.s.], but they are absolutely worth it. these physics-defying powders feel like creams, apply like creams, but set like friggin' magic marker. and yet, they wash off with a regular makeup remover. how does that happen? only the elves at armani beauty know for sure. after introducing these as limited edition items in 2010 for the holidays, armani made the smart move and made a dozen permanent colours that will draw customers to their counters like flies. the multifaceted shades remind me of what i hoped mac's mineralize shadows would be, except that they truly show dimension and multiple colours when applied. unbelievable and truly one of those rare cases where technology trumps jaded expectations.

mac mega metal shadows :: hey, just because they were having an off year doesn't mean that mac were completely asleep at the switch. this collection of frosty-but-wearable shades released in january showed the brand at its best. the worst thing about them was that they were all limited edition, because these truly belong in the mac hall of fame. rich in pigment, easy to blend and long-lasting, these shadows were mind-blowing in every way. and, yes, you can still track some of them down on line.
favourite shade :: yikes. i love all the ones i have almost equally. i get the most use out of violet-black "unflappable", but if you can get your hands on any of these, it'll be money well spent.

nars dogon & guerlain cherry blossom

nars duos :: technically speaking, there's nothing "new" about nars releasing eye shadow duos. after all, they're part of the regular line of products. but every now and then, one must take a moment and appreciate how great something is. particularly when you've got something as amazing as the roster of eye shadow duos released by nars this year. although i skipped the spring offerings [something i'm regretting], every other collection had something for me, be it the unexpected smoky "dogon" duo from the summer, the surprisingly wearable "grand palais" duo from the fall or the refreshingly offbeat take on blues with the holidays' "mandchourie", nars seemed to have unerring aim this year with colour. [in fact, from photos i've seen, this continues with their spring 2012 collection.] it's incredible the dimension, complement and contrast that nars is able to offer with these duos, but i'm looking forward to seeing what they come up with next.
favourite shade :: sticking to the ones released this year, i'd have to go with "dogon". the combination of icy taupe with an eerie green sheen and a rich blue-black makes an incredible combination that's quick to work with.

guerlain ecrin 4 couleurs :: amidst a rather understated fall collection, guerlain chose to reinvent all of their eye shadow quads, offering a new selection of complementary colours in impeccable formulas for well less than their artistically preented 6-shadow palettes. the quality is, well, pure guerlain- smooth, easy to apply and blend, nuanced and classy. the shades are safe enough that they can be used in pretty much every situation, but they also have subtleties to them that make them stand out from other companies' offerings. there is a reason why guerlain commands such high prices in the cosmetic market. they're that damn good.
favourite shade :: les bois roses. it's a combination of a very light pink, a grey-taupe, a shimmery warm dark brown and a sparkly rosewood shade, that can be used as a shadow or a liner. it's the sort of things i could wear every day, if i were the kind of person who wore the same look every day.

hourglass prism

hourglass duos :: the small american company hourglass is still finding its feet, but, being distributed by cosmetics giant sephora helps, in addition to the fact that they've been receiving a ton of love from various bloggers for their shadow duos. i tested these waters earlier in the year and was unprepared for how wonderful they would be. the quality of the shades, their staying power and their texture easily marks them as one of the best on the market. one can only hope that they choose to expand beyond their current selection in order to satisfy the demand for more shades. even at $44cad, they're a great deal, considering they include two shadows, each almost double the size of shadows from other companies. keep that in mind before you write them off as too pricey.
favourite shade :: they're all fantastic and which you choose will in large part be determined by your needs. being a smoky eye lover, i'd have to go with "prism", a steely blue grey combined with a deep black with silver sparkles.

yves st. laurent faux cils mascara :: if i'm going somewhere with very little makeup, which does happen, the last thing to go is always mascara. i can sacrifice anything else, but i do like to pamper my lashes. in fact, finding the be-all end-all of mascaras has been a kind of quest for me [i guess that's why some call them holy grail products] and this year, when i was given a sample of this mascara, i felt like i'd reached the promised land. my fringes stay ultra-black right to the tips, appear full but never clumpy and, most important, it performed very well on the "ow, my eye" test. [for those of you who aren't me, it's pretty much inevitable that you will eventually end up poking yourself in the eye with your mascara wand. this is never a particularly pleasant experience, but there is a lot of variation in terms of what effect the formula has when it comes in contact with your eyeball- intense watering, burning, itching, etc. with this formula, once you've shaken off the initial shock of having some moron- you- poke you in the eye, you're pretty much fine.] i've tried many, but this is my favourite.

lips ::

i'm a lipstick junkie, i admit it. even dom has started raising an eyebrow when i add to my collection and he's about as understanding as a person can get. it's just that he's figured out what everyone except me already knows: i'd have to grow a few more heads to go through all the lip products i own on a regular basis. but really, it's just because there are so many wonderful shades out there. and, yes, i can tell the difference between all of them. i'm pretty sure.

reds, berries and vampy shades are my primary addiction, but i've evolved to the point where i'll try just about anything [i'm still a wee bit leery of browns, but some of them work]. here are some of my favourite formulas.

yves st. laurent rouge pur couture :: beautiful, opaque coverage and a satiny finish in an ever-increasing variety of colours. and what colours! i love that what you get is pretty much exactly what you see in the tube and that they have a real range, from conservative to pretty wild and i am very pleased that they continue to add to their permanent collection every time they have a new launch. they're now up to forty shades, so you're bound to find something you like. the darker colours work best with a liner and can be a wee bit more drying [although my lips tend to dry out fairly easily anyway].
favourite shade :: muted raspberry "rouge vermillion", the kind of red that anyone can wear.

rouge d'armani 608

rouge d'armani :: mind-blowing. never drying [even on me], richly coloured, incredibly precise on application, long-lasting... the only thing that irks me about these is that, compared to other lines, the colour palette is more limited. even their somewhat irksome numbering system is workable once you get the hang of what the numbers mean. here's hoping that they add more shades [and not just include limited ones] as time goes on.
favourite shade :: limited but still available red plum #608.

guerlain rouge automatique & rouge g :: i honestly can't choose between guerlain's two wonderful formulas. on the one hand, the rouge g's are rich, moist, nuanced, wearable across skin tones, and are heavy enough to beat someone to death if the need arises. on the other hand, the rouge automatiques, newly launched this past spring, are stylish, fun, light enough to work even in warm weather and have casing that looks like something james bond would have. [if james bond wore lipstick.] guerlain also get extra love from me for keeping their canadian prices fairly close to those in america, which many other brands don't.
favourite shade :: for the rouge g formula, deep berry "gigolo" is unparalleled. as good as the formula is, this seems to improve on it. unreal. for the rouge automatiques, the slightly shimmery light pink "cherry blossom" was a surprising favourite for me. sure, i love the deeper and brighter shades, but this one brings a radiance to my complexion that i've never seen before. and considering how many light pink lipsticks there are out there, this one is remarkably unique.

i'm not someone who's tremendously into glosses, although i do like them from time to time. generally, since i prefer a stronger lip, i'll opt for a lipstick. however, i have developed a love for chanel's glossimers, especially the more pigmented ones. i've also recently tried out the gloss d'armani [launched this summer] for the first time and i have to say that formula is both impressive and fascinating. i'll be adding to my collection of both over the next year, i'm certain.

face/ cheeks ::

mac lightscapade :: i've been waiting since 2006 for this to come back and it finally did. there was more than a little disappointment because the new version had considerably less variation in colour and got nicknamed "beigescapade", but for the money, it's still a very nice highlighter to have. it's difficult for me not to wear this every day because of the luminous pearly sheen it gives me.

nars deep throat :: my absolute favourite "natural flush" colour. back in my gothier days, i used to avoid blush like it was coloured anthrax. it was much later that i figured out that adding colour to the cheeks brings dimension and shape to the face. who knew? [everybody except you, apparently -ed.]

guerlain serie noire blush g :: this is a bigger pop of colour, something that brings a sort of tropical glow, like the light of a sunset reflecting on your skin. it's a striped blush, with shades of coral, orange, light pink and magenta and, when blended, it reads as a vibrant, warm pink. even on pale complexions can pull this off [trust me], since it can easily be blended out into something more subtle.

the subtle effect of guerlain terra inca powder

guerlain terra inca sublime radiant powder :: i questioned my sanity just a little when i bought this, because it was the most expensive makeup purchase i ever made and because i don't really wear bronzers. why was i buying this? to be honest, the carved wood packaging sort of hypnotised me and i had to admit that the shade had enough rosiness to it that i thought it would work. and how. i've used this powder more often than anything else i bought this year except foundation and mascara. my skin is indeed radiant and sublime when i apply it, no matter how wretched i might feel. it's subtle enough that it doesn't really read as a bronzer, just as a perfect glow.

for skin care, as i mentioned a little while ago [in my "friday favourites"], i've fallen quite hard for nuxe, both because of their natural, sustainable orientation and because the quality of the products has been so high. i've also recently been trying out several products from korres, who have a similar mindset and who have likewise impressed. i'm hoping that the test sales they seem to be conducting in certain drugstores here result in them being rolled out throughout the chain, since it would be nice to have them widely available.

i was going to include a list of favourite nail polishes, but i then determined it would look like this: chanel chanel chanel chanel chanel chanel chanel. what can i say? they do a fine varnish. well, to be fair, opi's "pirates of the caribbean" set and their "touring america" set were both nice, muted shades as well.

overall, my favourite collections, divided up by season were:

spring :: a tie between chanel, whose delicate colours made me realise that soft looks could be interesting and guerlain, who chose a much bolder palette.

summer :: mac's "surf baby". it's funny, because summer collections often leave me a little cold, but for the last two years, i feel like mac has done an outstanding job at finding colours that are great for everyone. the quality on this collection was close to the best they had all year. plus you had the "zombie surfer" model, who was kind of awesomely creepy.

fall :: i regret that i wasn't quick enough on the draw and missed out on laura mercier's "canyon" collection, a palette reflecting the colours of the desert sunset, which actually looked like it was the standout of the year. of the ones i did buy from, i'll give the edge to guerlain, because the launch included "gigolo" and introduced their new eye shadow quads.

holiday :: remarkably, remarkably difficult, because i felt that, across the board, these were some of the strongest collections all year. i'll give the edge to chanel, because their shades were so classic and elegant and at the same time, had a bit of an edge.

chanel glossimer meteore & mac jealousy wakes

special mention :: mac's "bloggers' obsessions" collection was a fantastic idea, extremely well executed. beauty bloggers probably have more influence on cosmetic purchases than fashion magazines at this point and it was incredibly smart of mac to reach out to a group of them and have them create products. almost all of them are still available on the mac web site and the quality here is outstanding. all of these products have remained in frequent rotation since they launched in june.

i've determined that 2012 will be a year when i explore more brands, particularly some of the smaller "boutique" brands that are more difficult to get up here- beauty blogger favourite rouge bunny rouge, edward bess, burberry's classic take on colour [still fairly new and launched in only two individual stores in canada thus far], laura mercier and le metier de beaute to name a few. but that doesn't mean i'll be abandoning my favourites, new and old. just that i'll continue to expand my range, refine my preferences and let you know how it goes.

although dom and i had a quiet new year's, i did prepare us a holiday dinner and, yes, i even got a bit gussied up for the occasion. [i also doused myself with flour, which kind of ruined the effect, but i'm sure i looked quite fetching when i entered the kitchen.] so thanks for reading and for your continued support. there will be more things to discuss throughout 2012. here's my new year's look to get things started.

products used

face ::
mac prolongwear foundation "nc15"
dr. hauschka concealer "01"

eyes ::
guerlain ecrin 4 couleurs "bois de roses" [description above]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
mac mineralize skinfinish "lightscapade" [cool white highlighter]
nars blush "deep throat" [natural warm pink]

lips ::
chanel rouge coco "fatale" [rich burgundy]

happy new year!!

2011 :: musical notes

2011-12-31T00:37:00.000-05:00

when i was younger, i used to be able to do a top ten album list every year, without fail. in recent years, i really haven't found that possible, partly because i'm slower than ever to catch up on listening to music, partly because my tastes are so obscure that i often don't find out about music until it's a year or so old, partly because i think my standards were lower [in many ways] when i was young and partly because i am, undeniably, of an age where i don't have the stamina to keep up with all the latest trends and bands. sigh. there is nothing like music to let you know that you're getting old.

slater's sons live at katacombes 28.12.11

of course, i still take some pride/ solace in the fact that my musical tastes continue to evolve and that each year, i do seem to make contact with a handful of releases that do make me perk up my ears. i make an effort to go to shows when i can and when it doesn't interfere with my nap and ovaltine schedule. and i do still try to keep abreast [sometimes both of them] of new musical developments. having the caustic lounge monthly helps me in that regard, although it does tend to push me in a certain direction [that direction being "music acceptable to play in public and be invited back"].

that said, a lot of what i get isn't new. in the days when i was doing a radio show, i felt more compelled to come up with new releases on a regular basis, since being on air weekly meant that my audience [such as it was] became familiar with what i was offering pretty quickly. doing a monthly slot doesn't carry the same weight, because a lot of times, people will have forgotten what they heard weeks [or even a few months] before and, more to the point, there is a lot more tolerance and even comfort in hearing something familiar in a public environment.

there are releases about which i'm curious that i haven't managed to get hold of yet. cut hands, the new project of william bennett of whitehouse is certainly something i want to check out. for that one, i can't blame anything but my own laziness.

current 93 released an album this year, but, having been bitterly disappointed with their last offering, i've been a little shy to approach it. i'll get around to it one of these days.

there are actually a lot of releases from this year that i haven't had the chance to listen to yet, and you'll forgive me if i don't list them all here. i will slowly get caught up, at which point i'll most likely be writing recaps of 2012 or 2013.

SO WHAT THE HECK DID I LIKE?

of the things i did manage to hear, many were enjoyable without being earth-shattering. new york's wierd records [yes, that's how it's spelled] continues to be a source of fun, poppy, retro-electro music and there were a number of releases from them that made for a great listen- the new album from xeno & oaklander, led er est [which i believe might have actually come out in 2010], the icy cold staccato du mal and an excellent release by frank alpine are all worth checking out. i'll also say that i very much appreciate wierd making their releases available in a variety of formats- usually vinyl, cd and itunes download. i'll even admit that i broke with a long-standing rule and went with official downloads in a couple of cases this year. i'd received a bunch of gift certificates through itunes and figured it was one way to put them to use. i'm normally a champion of the cd as artifact and in the value of a total package, but i do have to admit there is also a certain appeal to not having another object. our home has too many of them.

poster for the iceland-canada arts festival

at once closer to home and farther away, "initial conditions" is a little jewel of a 7", marking the return of icelandic industrial icons reptilicus and featuring a mix by senking [who is normally part of the german raster-noton roster]. the release is the first on the new canadian imprint yatra arts and what a promising debut it is! the release of the single was celebrated with events in iceland in the spring and in toronto and canada [a real iceland-canada arts fest] in november. the mind behind yatra has a lot of experience in the music world and i'm looking forward to see what the future holds.

often times in recent years, i've found myself falling back on the galakthorroe label for my annual favourites. and this year is no different. of the full-length albums i heard this year, haus arafna's "new york rhapsody" and maska genetik's "strada" are without doubt my favourites. there is no doubt that there is a signature "galakthorroe sound" and it's the sort of thing that people either love or dismiss, but for me, it never seems to get old. over the years, haus arafna have become less brutal- leaving the harsher power electronics to label-mate albert fisch's subliminal- and, i believe, more heavily atmospheric. there's something remote and melancholy about their sound, something despairing. as i've mentioned before, the album was written as a soundtrack for a show at the fall 2009 new york fashion week. i can only imagine that it was an incredible experience.

maska genetik

the maska genetik album was an incredibly pleasant surprise not just because it was so good- although it is- but because, after contributing a couple of tracks to the "kosmoloko" compilation and releasing a 7" several years back, maska genetik apparently retired from music altogether. this debut full-length was well worth the wait. although it rarely gets very noisy, there is something hard-edged and often unsettling in the music. i hope that "strada" marks a permanent return for this russian project.

most surprising to me in the past year was how few times i went to live shows. of those i did go to, a large portion were local bands, such as post-post-punk dekoder and ska-masters slater's sons. normally, montreal is a mecca for live shows. there are multiple music festivals of various sorts, especially throughout the spring and fall, but this year, the quality of most of them seemed to suffer noticeably. i enjoyed a couple of shows at the elektra festival back in may, but for the most part gave others a pass. the truly sad thing is that i don't really have any shows i regret missing. there simply weren't that many opportunities for a person of my tastes to enjoy themselves.

although i've grown less fond of her music as it's gotten better produced, i was very impressed with zola jesus' performance at il motore. it's quite remarkable to hear that powerful a voice come out of such a petite person. where many people use studio trickery to "create" a vocal style for themselves, ms. jesus is the real deal. she has true talent and i actually find that the depth of it and the emotion of her music comes through better in a live environment than through recordings.

my choice for best performance of the year goes to keiji haino, who played at sala rossa this summer. it had been thirteen years since i'd last seen him and i'd forgotten the raw power and swirling beauty of his live shows. he cuts an odd figure, dressed in black, eyes obscured by dark glasses, a mane of grey hair swaying as he works his magic on the guitar, but he is at the same time, oddly hypnotic. it's honestly not difficult for me to choose this as my favourite show of the year, but i have a feeling it would rank highly in years when there was far more to offer.

so went 2011 musically. although i've not heard much about upcoming shows or releases, i'm hopeful that next year will be one that excites me a little more with what it has to offer. in the meantime, i have some of this year's releases to track down.

friday favourites 30.12.11

2011-12-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

so this is how it ends... it's the very last "friday favourites" of 2011, which means i really should be reviewing my favourite things from the entire year. my friends, i can't say i'll miss this year very much, which is sort of frustrating, because i said the same thing last year, but i guess the good news is that i'm fully aware of the problems i have and the things that will eventually solve them, which is actually an improvement on last year, when i felt like things had been largely out of control.

[way to start a piece called "friday favourites", dumbass -ed.]

but the fact that i'm happy to be moving on to 2012 doesn't mean that there weren't parts of the year that i enjoyed greatly. in fact, there were several things that stand out. i've decided to divide my preferences into a few posts- this one is more general, but there will be separate ones dealing with music- and beauty-related things. i should have both of those ready for you tomorrow.

in world affairs, i've obviously been getting way more than my fair share of involvement out of the campaign for the republican presidential nomination. i see now that mitt romney and rick santorum are having their turn to surge, which i think means that romney is the new anti-romney. i'd like to thank all those of you who've followed me on twitter, both those who found me because of my incessant need to tweet the republican debates and those who stuck with me in spite of it. one of the things about insisting on indulging all my selfish interests is that i'm sure some people end up wondering what the hell they've gotten themselves into.

really, the biggest event for me was that, for once, i agreed with time magazine's choice for person of the year. well, it's been known to happen in the past, but i didn't expect they were going to go with my choice. then again, it's hard to ignore the power of the protestor and it's encouraging to see that, despite repression of varying sorts [depending on where in the world you're protesting], those voices are being heard and causing change. dom and i were at the vet's office having our little boy seth checked out [he has some occasional problems with asthma, like his mum] when we found out- via twitter, appropriately enough- that hosni mubarak had resigned, after weeks of insisting it would never happen. of course, there are still big problems facing egypt, but i can't help but admire that "ok everybody, back in the square" attitude that prevailed when things weren't progressing well or fast enough. it remains to be seen what will happen in egypt, tunisia, libya, syria, bahrain and across the arab world, but the most important element is that there are more voices being heard. [and, i should add, that holds true even when we don't like what's being said. the transformations of the arab spring will likely make things more delicate and complicated for governments in the west. such is the nature of democracy.]

on these shores, of course, we had the much maligned and misunderstood occupy movement, which strikes me as a sort of pan-movement, indicative of broad-ranging dissatisfaction rather than focused anger. that openness of message was often used against the protestors who marched, camped, fed and sheltered [remember those services the next time someone harps about how much the protests were costing- many of the people eating and sleeping at those camps would have otherwise been at municipal soup kitchens and shelters]. the protests in canada were generally defused when the camps were dismantled [sometimes with acrimony, but often, as here in montreal, with a remarkable sense of cooperation]. in the united states, they have moved to a new frontier, peculiar to their specific cultural situation- occupying homes foreclosed on by banks who received billions in taxpayer funds after having blown up the economy in 2008. the more attention shifts to scenes like these, the harder it is for bitter conservatives like newt gingrich to laugh off the voices of the people by saying that all they need is a bath.

i think i was especially relieved to see these sorts of protests, because they showed how such things can be done well- unlike events in england which saw people targeting such corporate monstrosities as an independent record company and a multi-generational, family-operated furniture shop. way to stick it to the man, guys.

i don't feel any great sense of encouragement when i look at the governments of either the united states or canada, but i am hopeful that the badness of the times will encourage more people to speak up about the obvious inequities of the financial and political system, which perpetuate gross inequalities.

well now that's a bit heavy for a friday night, isn't it?

on a personal level, although i think i could have done better, there are a few accomplishments i'm proud of. i was really happy to be able to envision and create a short film earlier this year, something i didn't know how to do until, well, until i did it.

although i would like to have written more, i am pleased that i got back into publishing "a definable moment in time" [which got its name this year, thanks to dom], especially since it's encouraging me to finish a project i've been working on for a few years.

i was very happy to get the opportunity to do a regular dj night [the first wednesday of the month, if you've been wondering], especially since the folks at cagibi are so lenient with what i can get away with. i've been very appreciative of those who have come to those nights and who have taken the time to ask about what was played or just to say that they enjoyed it. plus, of course, i've had the opportunity to do other nights, including a couple of returns to the radio waves, something i'd not done in years. these things have brought a lot of smiles to my face.

i'd also like to add that, on the level of personal satisfaction, this blog ranks really high for me this year. although i started blogging here in 2005, my efforts had always been sporadic. this year, since i had more time on my hands than ever, i decided to really see what i could accomplish. 2011 has seen more posts on a wider variety of topics than any year previous. there has been more traffic- far more- than ever. i have received more feedback through comments here, on facebook, on twitter or through other means and that has been an amazing source of encouragement. i think it's telling that the most popular posts for 2011 include ones on the subject of cosmetics, politics and mental health. i'm aware that what i do here- maintaining a blog that features my blah-blah on any number of topics- is a little confusing and can be difficult to follow, but i'm happy that there are those who have chosen to follow, if not every post, then at least from time to time.

i am indebted to you all for your interest.

a few weeks ago, i indicated that i was going to be playing around with different layouts and, indeed, i did. here are a few of them:

if you missed me trying out the new "dynamic" layouts, it's because "dynamic" turned out to be a code word for "bollocks". the layouts that i tried were all sort of interesting to look at, but they were incredibly difficult to follow. it wasn't clear where old posts were located, everything in my side bar disappeared and the instructions on how to get things working again were predicated on going to a page that no longer existed as an option within blogger. so, i went back to a standard layout, being mindful of those who'd told me that my previous layout was making them blind, and tried a slightly different colour scheme. i'm still not sure that i'm crazy about it- there's something about the old grey-on-black that was more "me" [i.e., difficult to make sense of -ed.], but i am very happy with the cool new banner that dom designed for me. so at least that'll be a sharp new look for 2012.

i hope that 2011 has been a fulfilling year, but if, like me, you have had a rough time of it, i'd like you to all follow the example of hecubus below: put it behind you and look forward.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

tickling your fancy?

2011-12-30T13:58:00.000-05:00

i came across this article on the bbc yesterday, which you can read, or i can summarise thusly:

it's about scientists in england tickling animals as research.

ostensibly, they're researching how laughter evolved and while i'm sure that in some cases, laughter is indeed the best medicine, i have a feeling that this will not help them cure cancer any time soon. i'm trying not to be judgmental, because damn, the videos are cute, but it does raise some questions for me.

first of all, i don't need scientists to tell me that animals are ticklish, because i have arthur and the few times i was daft enough to try to brush his belly fur, he demonstrated in no uncertain terms that he was not into it. he used to play this horrible prank of rolling on his back and showing said belly as a temptation to touch him, but it was actually just a horrible trap that resulted in the loss of a few friends. [meaning they stopped visiting, not that he killed them. as far as you know.] it was several years before i mastered the technique of rubbing him with enough force that it didn't tickle and from there, things were much better. so yes, animals can be ticklish and, like a lot of humans whose name starts with kate, they aren't particularly fond of being tickled.

second, i'm not sure where i should stand on this issue with regards to animal research. after all, i'm opposed to animal testing and i try to advocate for alternatives wherever possible. and technically, this research involves little except animal testing. but when i think of the sort of things i oppose, giving hugs and tickles isn't really what i had in mind. i mean, the whole point is to study the evolution of something that indicates happiness. well, laughter can also indicate nervousness, i guess and maybe there's a second study involving placing a rat and a new mate in an enclosure with his previous mate and twelve of their babies where they see if he starts to titter, but i haven't read about that one yet. so i'm not sure if this really meets the definition i had in mind for animal cruelty.

third, i get the feeling that people who went into the sciences are just constantly thumbing their noses at those artsy fops who decided to do things like comparative literature or philosophy degrees, the ones who didn't want to be restricted by the regimens of science. now, all of a sudden, all those guys who were rushing to their labs in university, while we snickered at the fact that we had half the class work that they did are getting back at us by demonstrating that they can come up with jobs that are cooler than we ever dreamed of. "you ended up working in an office? haha, biatch, i tickle animals for a living!"

i'm never going to have a job that cool.

dj kali & mr. dna @ le ska des fêtes 28.12.11

2011-12-29T22:05:00.002-05:00

one of the nice things about knowing people whose musical experience branches off from your own in certain places is that one of them will occasionally call on you to do something outside of your comfort zone. now, a punk/ ska set isn't strictly speaking something that i am unfamiliar with, but i'm used to including those things as part of a larger set that tends to lean more quirky unpop/ post-punk/ cold wave/ industrial... of course, in years past i've also done a number of noise/ power electronics sets and even techno back in the old days [which, ironically, were the young days]. but i digress...

anyway, props to mr. dna, who truly owned the evening, because he knows this stuff better than me and thanks very much to fred @ rude mekanicals for including me in the fun. it was a great chance to check out some local rising stars [vinny savage, bluff and the always amazing slater's sons] and take on a new challenge [although you'll note that i pretty much reverted to form in my last set].

dj "ska-li" sets are numbered and mr. dna sets are lettered, so you can tell them apart.

a skankin' holiday

1 ::
teenage head :: disgusteen
dead kennedys :: halloween
bow wow wow :: c30 c60 c90 go
the jam :: in the city
joy division :: walked in line
the clash :: clampdown
the selecter :: missing words
the spanishtonians :: suffer me not
wire :: i am the fly
the cramps :: human fly
the flesh eaters :: satan's stomp
leeroy bowman and the arrows :: graveyard
the specials :: ghost town
the tartans :: comin' on strong
talking heads :: psycho killer
sleep chamber :: the light pours out ov me
berurier noir :: les rebelles
killing joke :: psssyche
gangrène :: lulu
the slits :: typical girls
the specials :: doesn't make it all right [live] [also known as "i started the wrong track... guess i'll roll with it"]
the specials :: friday night and saturday morning
wall of voodoo :: they don't want me
ice :: skyscraper

a ::
scientist :: dance of the vampires
fishbone :: party at ground zero
mano negra :: mala vida
nofx :: kill all the white man
the vandals :: let the bad times roll
reel big fish :: nothing

2::
iggy and the stooges :: search and destroy
stiff little fingers :: roots, radicals, rockers & reggae
black flag :: loose nut
dead kennedys :: moon over "oh hey, the band has started playing... guess i should stop now"

b ::
me first and the gimme gimmes :: blowing in the wind
the vandals :: don't stop me now
rocket from the crypt :: stuck in the middle / born in '69
supernova :: vitamins
goldfinger :: question
nomeansno :: it's catching up
nwa :: straight outta compton
ramones :: now i wanna sniff some glue
hanson brothers :: i'm gonna play hockey
the reverend horton heat :: five-o four
dead kennedys :: too drunk to fuck
bad brains :: pay to cum
minor threat :: filler
the middle class :: out of vogue
run dmc :: run's house
the slits :: i heard it through the grapevine
the clash :: police and thieves
the beat :: tears of a clown
specials :: too much too young
oingo boingo :: violent love
fishbone :: i wish i had a date
minutemen :: this ain't no picnic
descendents :: myage
nofx :: bob
the vandals :: I've got an ape drape

3 ::
not to be silenced...
dead kennedys :: moon over marin
the clash :: spanish bombs
tuxedomoon :: no tears
six finger satellite :: baby's got the rabies
devo :: signal ready
perverse teens :: la baboute
human hands :: i got mad
the english beat :: mirror in the bathroom
razor x feat. cutty ranks :: slew dem
novy svet :: en possession de te

note :: images are all taken from the john fluevog web site, including selections from the user-created ad art gallery. they are reused here with love and respect, as all images should be.

making faces :: mac + guinness- a match made in kate's personal heaven?

2011-12-27T19:32:00.000-05:00

when i first heard that mac cosmetics was doing a line with beer heiress daphne guinness, i had this wonderful idea where, if you bought two or more items from the collection, you'd get a free 4-pack of her tasty, tasty brew, provided you had some sort of i.d. to prove it wasn't illegal for you to get one. sadly, that didn't come to pass and the aesthetic and alcoholic parts of my personality were forced to remain separate. i still think that the promotion would have encouraged people to buy more. as would plying them with guinness at mac stores, but for some reason, no one ever takes my brilliant marketing campaign suggestions.

this actually isn't the first time daphne guinness, who seems to be best known as a style icon, has paired up with a cosmetics company. she was actually the face of nars' fall 2010 campaign, which introduced [among other things] the eponymous "daphne" eye shadow, an intense royal purple shade. i'm assuming that the purple was something she inspired, because her collection with mac also shows a preference for cooler, violet tinged tones across the board. those with more golden-coloured skin are going to have a tougher time making these products work. for my part, it's a colour palette i love- greys and purples and cooler pinks. sorry golden girls, but remember that pretty much every other collection ever launched will suit you. give us pasty ladies a chance.

the collection mixes new and re-promoted shades in a way that i like. i think that there's a good balance between new things to try and limited items that people have been hoping to see again. [rumour has it that mac will be doing a collection entirely of favourites you might have missed at some time this year. i suspect it'll be their best-selling collection ever, given the hype around some of the hard-to-find mac items from history.]

unfortunately, the thing that i was looking forward to the most turned out to be the collection's biggest disappointment, the "interior life" eye shadow quad. a mix of icy pink, mauve, grey and midnight blue [the latter, heather belles, being the only re-promoted shade, from one of last year's holiday palettes], it's the sort of thing that i figured would be a no-brainer. except that the q.c. team assigned to this item was evidently made up of no-brainers. that sounds harsh, but as a long-time fan of mac's limited edition quads, i've been incredibly frustrated by the decline in quality this year. i bought almost all the ones that came out last year and i'm happy with every single purchase. this year, the quality has been shockingly weak, with only a couple of exceptions. pull up your socks, mac!

there are some good parts to the collection, most notably the return of the blush ombres, a silky, buildable blush with a gradient of colour in a pan large enough that you can choose from either side or swirl them together.


azalea blossom

vintage grape

these were originally introduced with the spring colour forecast collection in 2010 [now that was an amazing collection, mac] and the two cooler shades- in keeping with the overall look- are back. "azalea blossom" is a combination of a cool bright pink and a soft lavender. it's an amazingly flattering blush on cooler skin tones and one of my favourites, because it just makes my complexion glow. "vintage grape" is a mix of deep plum pink and a purple-red. applied too heavily on fair skin, this can look like a bruise, but a light hand gives great results. i love that this can be a sort of dramatic contour or a lighter, daytime-friendly shade. both have the same gorgeous formula and both are likely to move fairly quickly- especially azalea blossom. they're $31cad each, which is more than a regular blush, but it's well worth it for the formula and the fact that they're much larger than a regular blush.

azalea blossom- pink/ lavender swatched separately and mixed

vintage grape- plum/ burgundy swatched separately and mixed

circa plum dry/ wet

the collection also has a trio of very nice pigments- aurora, a light rosy taupe; nebula dark grey-brown with a sheen; and circa plum, a shimmery, slightly warm mauve with a silvery sheen. circa plum has been available before [although not for some time] and the other two are new. aurora, as the most neutral, is something that will likely sell well. i personally thought that it was a lot like a warmer [yes, it's probably the warmest shade in the launch] version of "mauvement" pigment, although the texture is smoother. nebula seems to be a little lighter and greyer than last year's cult favourite "bloodline" pigment. because i have shades that are fairly close, i passed on these two colours [it takes so long to go through a jar of these magical loose powders that i really can't justify having shades that are too similar], but circa plum is simply a must-have in my books. it's a stunning shade, subtle but effective, that is different enough applied dry vs. wet that you're essentially getting two products in one.

red dwarf

there are also four prolongwear lip cremes, all limited edition, with the collection, a cool silver, a deep burgundy, a lovely medium purple [that unfortunately looks like a lot of purples mac has already released this year, which makes it less special] and, the one that i picked, a cool berry shade called "red dwarf". well come on, with a name like that, i was predisposed to it anyway. although it doesn't look like it should be that distinctive, i could not find anything comparable, despite my admirable collection of berry, deep pink and cool red shades. observe:

"red dwarf" middle column at centre

on the left, going from top to bottom, you have guerlain "bee", which is more purple and noticeably darker [with more of a shiny finish], the old mac limited edition shade "full body", which looked similar at first, but is warmer, darker and more sheer and guerlain's rouge automatique "l'heure bleue", which is redder, brighter and has a faint shimmer.

red dwarf

in the middle, on top, you have inglot shade "134", which i had thought would be close, but which is actually quite a bit deeper and brighter. next to it "red dwarf" [which is right underneath] looks almost red. yves st. laurent's rouge volupté in "exquisite plum" is about the closest i found, but it's clearly a bit darker and more purple [as well as much shinier]. on the right hand side, you have the limited edition shade "rapturous", also from mac, which is deeper and redder.

"red dwarf" is the kind of shade that's fitting for a lot of different people and a lot of different occasions. it's priced at $20cad, which makes it a little more expensive than a regular mac lipstick, presumably because its long-wearing formula means it will take longer to use. i do find that the formula wears very well without drying your lips, a problem with many "long-lasting" products. they have a slight sheen when applied, but quickly settle to a near-matte finish. they remind me of nars' semi-matte lipsticks, actually, although they're just a little softer.

red dwarf

the collection also includes eye liners [in the much-loved "powerpoint" formula]], nail polishes [which look pretty] and cremesheen glosses. those glosses have a lot of fans, but i'm not one of them. they're too sheer for my tastes and don't last nearly long enough. that said "narcissus" a pinky-purple shade like a bright iris, is quite unique and i think it'll be a favourite with many mac fans.

the blushes, circa plum and red dwarf are the cream of the crop here. the shadow quad is its nadir. overall, my reaction to this collection is not dissimilar to my reaction to most mac collections this year: has a few high points, but it seems like it could have been much better.

here's a look i did with "red dwarf", azalea blossom" and some shades from previous mac collections that i felt had a similar feel, but performed better. i did include "heather belles", since i had it from its previous release. for those who might have picked up items from the "palace pedigreed" collection [part of "fabulous felines", another great example of mac doing things really well], the shades in "daphne guinness" have a similar feel.

face ::
mac prolongwear foundation "nc15"
dr. hauschka concealer "01"

eyes ::
mac e/s "courtly"* [light greyed mauve]
mac e/s "quite spoiled"* [shimmery medium mauve]
mac e/s "heather belles"* [blackened indigo]
mac e/s "rosy outlook"* [pale pink]
mac superslick liquid liner "smoky heir" [dark purple]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
mac blush ombre "azalea blossom"* [light cool pink- blended colour]

lips ::
mac prolongwear l/s "red dwarf"* [raspberry pink-red]

you can also see a look with "circa plum" pigment here and several looks with azalea blossom blush ombre assembled here and with vintage grape assembled here [yeah, i wear these a lot.]

the daphne guinness collection is available at all mac stores and department store counters and on line at maccosmetics.com or maccosmetics.ca.

and don't worry if not all your products were a hit, daphne. to cheer you, here's a photo of your biggest fan, enjoying the stuff that made you famous:

making faces :: my christmas face

2011-12-26T01:08:00.000-05:00

one of the nice things about having a fairly extensive family of in-laws is that this time of the year affords me a lot of excuses to get myself gussied up. although many of us wear makeup or put some consideration into how we look every day, there are always times when a sense of occasion makes us take just that extra bit of care and the holidays are certainly one of those times [or, in my case this year, a few of those times].

this isn't really an opportunity where i want to look all vegas-showgirl [actually, there aren't really any times when that's what i'm going for, which is just as well], but i did use it as an excuse to trot out a few past favourites and a new friend...

most of the eye shades come from the spring colour forecast 4 quad released by mac in 2010. i'm normally not a great fan of spring collections, at least not the way i am of fall collections, but this was one where mac really hit it out of the park. built around four shades- pink, coral, plum and amber- it was huge and had a shockingly high percentage of quality products. strangely, i'd figured the shades used here would be too warm for me, but it's turned into one of my most frequently used items. i actually credit this quad with teaching me that gold, copper and bronze shades look really strong with blue eyes, because of the contrast they create.

one quick note about the photos- although i did do a sort of "doll cheeks" effect with the blush, i find it looks much more pronounced in the photos that it did in real life. i have no idea how that happens, or why. my camera has a mind of its own and evidently, it's a fairly creative mind.

products used

face ::
mac prolongwear foundation "nc15"
dr. hauschka concealer "01"

eyes ::
mac e/s "manila paper"* [warm ivory]
mac prolongwear e/s "one to watch" [peachy brown]
mac e/s "aztec brick"* [soft copper]
mac e/s "creole beauty"* [rich medium brown
mac fluidline "blacktrack"
guerlain kohl "black" benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
guerlain blush g* [bright coral pink]

lips ::
chanel rouge allure velvet "la sensuelle" [deep cool red]

*suggested alternates :: manila paper = mac nylon [yellower and frostier] or mac dazzlelight [lighter and cooler]; aztec brick = mac amber lights; creole beauty = mac antiqued; blush g = benefit bella bamba [warmer, less pink]

happy holidays to everyone!

is this really what you want?

2011-12-24T22:06:00.001-05:00

this actually raises other questions i'm likewise unable to answer

i was just perusing my google analytics to see who's been checking this spot out and how they've come to be here.

the most common ways for people to arrive here are fairly obvious- looking for a picture or review of a particular cosmetic product [happy to oblige], looking for a download of a particular album [sorry] or- less frequently than before but still prevalent- looking for dirt on bell canada and stumbling across details of my epic battle. although that battle has long passed, i'm happy to say horrible things about the company at the least provocation, so feel free to provoke me.

however, there are also some slightly stranger ways in which people find this blog. for instance, every day, i get someone who searched for "hooded figure" stumbling upon this post. and while there's not a lot of sense to most things here, that is an especially strange introduction. i wonder how many of them actually come back. [i should also add that if i search for the words "hooded figure", that post doesn't turn up.]

lately, this post has been getting a shocking amount of traffic, especially when you consider that it has to do with an election that happened in the first half of this year. i suspect that traffic is directed there from people looking for an unbelievably adorable photo of a baby seal and, yes, his photo would win anyone's heart.

back when i was doing mental health mondays, i used to get a lot of hits from people looking for drugs- information on them, yes, but often looking to buy them. i'd like to state officially that i don't sell drugs through this blog. [although it might be a way of boosting my income.] terms related to mental illness are also popular routes here ["anorexia" and "dissociative identity disorder" are the all-time most popular search terms leading to this blog.]

however, there are some methods of getting here that i just don't understand. and some of those make me deeply uncomfortable.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

"been a useless alcoholic since benzos" :: might i suggest that if you continue to consume alcohol and benzodiazepines that you should be checking yourself into a clinic? nothing you find on the internet is going to tell you anything except what a bad idea that combination is. get thy butt to a doctor, pronto.

"boxmate meaning" :: if you find that out, please let me know. this probably isn't a good place to find out the meaning of anything. the host here is crazy, you know.

"blowjob" :: if you can't find a better resource for those on the internet than this blog, you're not trying very hard.

"anorexic toppless" :: well now that is an extremely specific fetish, but god knows there's a site for everything. might i suggest that you would have better luck finding resources if you learned to spell what you're looking for?

"gaysex blogspot" :: ok, is there some reason why all the dyslexic/ illiterate porn seekers are getting directed here? seriously, this will only lead to disappointment. and now i'm probably going to get a hundred hits a week from people looking for dyslexic porn.

"internet epic fail" :: well, it's nice to know that when people are looking for the worst of the internet, this is where they come. way to boost my self-confidence, google. [and no, that isn't a one-time thing. it's shown up many times.]

"heliotrope eyelids" :: i actually realised after a minute that this term led to me because of the wording i used in one of the looks i did in my "passion for purple". personally, i just love the idea that someone was searching for the term "heliotrope eyelids". there should definitely be a hipster band from williamsburg or the rhode island school of design with that name. definitely.

but my personal favourite search term, which comes up at least a few times a week is:

"http://morelikespace.blogspot.com" :: i'd like to put it to you that 1. you really don't need to search for a site when you have the full address or 2. you're unlikely to find another site when the information you enter is so specific.

["more like space kate" is also popular, but a bit more understandable. and it sounds like a wonderful dessert if you say it all in one flow.]

thank you very much to all of you who read posts on this blog this year. i truly appreciate every one of you and it gives me a great sense of satisfaction when i hear that people get something out of the experience of reading things here, whatever they may be. i hope that i'll be able to continue to bring you what you want, but i can't make any promises about the porn, although i did once consider pursuing stick figure porn in order to flex my artistic muscles. i can promise that i'll continue to be here, posting the contents of my addled brain, until the internet shuts me down or my fingers are to arthritic to type [at which point we'll all probably have servant robots anyway].

i'm still waiting for when we look back at all that and laugh

2011-12-23T22:37:00.002-05:00

"kiss my ass, history!"

when i was in grade eight, we used to have a weekly period in school where we were just supposed to sit and read. if we didn't bring a book with us [i.e., if we were too thick to figure out that we could use the time to read stuff we were assigned but didn't want to bother with during our free time], we were told that we should just put our heads down on our desks and nap. i'm not making that up. it's what we were told to do, a rule obviously invented by someone who had never seen what happens when you close your eyes in a room full of thirteen year-olds.

one week, i decided to use this forty-five minutes of "quiet" time to write something and, since i'd been watching a lot of the station called "cnn", which was new to my house, i decided to make it a political parody, i wrote a little jingle [to be sung to the tune of "she'll be coming round the mountain", which also makes excellent backing music for the poems of miss emily dickenson] about ronald reagan and how he was hell-bent on bringing the world to nuclear destruction. it was kind of funny, for something written by a thirteen year-old and to get some sense of peer affirmation, i slipped it to my best friend to read.

she read it, laughed and got spotted by another bored classmate, who wanted to know what was going on. so then the paper with my protest song got passed to her. and then to another person and another and then people started adding their own verses and then more people wanted to look at it and, well, you can see where this is going. the problem is that once something starts to pique interest, silence goes out the window and i believe that the only purpose of "reading period" was to make us all try our best to shut the hell up for forty-five minutes.

my homeroom teacher, a rather unpleasant character called mr. wilson, who i swear i will punch in the nose if i ever see him again, confiscated the offending document and that was the last i ever saw of it. but for that afternoon, i was a political hero [which was kind of amazing, since i was one of the least popular kids in the school and when i said my "best friend" earlier, i really meant "only friend"]. i had mocked ronald reagan and his tunnel-vision cold war policies and, although some of the kids in my class insisted i was some sort of communist traitor, it made me feel very important to have gotten people talking.

my point- yes, there is one- is that at thirteen, i'd managed to figure out that ronald reagan's politics were extremely divisive and quite likely dangerous. and yet every time i tune into one of the republican presidential debates, each of the candidates talks about ronald reagan the way that most people talk about mother theresa. i've followed campaigns before and, while i know that republicans have always expressed an admiration for reagan, this sort of genuflecting is not something i've seen before. and it raises many questions.

actually, it raises just one question: why?

here's a newsflash for those of you too young to remember: the eighties were fucking horrible. seriously. i don't mean the neon colours and the dancing boy bands and hair metal and the incredibly overdone makeup. i mean politically, the eighties were like something scooped out of the nether regions of kafka's brain pan.

remarkably, not the worst bit

the entire decade was crammed full of stories of the american government propping up the most heinous dictatorships on the planet, brokering shameful arms deals to curry favour with supposedly populist leaders who were clearly unstable and fomenting unrest throughout the world in the name of protecting imperial interests. furthermore, every time you said something like "hey, those guys we're arming to fight off the soviets in afghanistan have some wacky ideas and this deal might come back to bite us in the ass", you were dismissed as a crank, a conspirator, a communist sympathiser. no matter how obvious something was, no matter how egregious the trespass, no matter how clearly flagitious the action, the government would simply shrug and defend itself by saying that it was all in the interests of fighting communism, an enemy which provoked this wrath through a long-standing campaign of doing fuck all except getting blamed for shit. [seriously, these were not well-oiled anti-democratic machines, no matter what horrifying bedtime stories you might have been told.]

it's time to face how bad things really were.

if you were a rational person, the reagan years sucked. so what's with the adulation-fest?

this is someone who severely damaged the world's view of the united states and who mired his country [with the help of his vice president] in some pretty questionable squabbles which, thank you lens of history, have come back to bite the collective american backside in the most shocking of ways. he set in motion many of the fiscal policies which would eventually cripple the middle class. he made public policy of vilifying the poor, which made it easier for people to stomach the idea of cutting off what few resources they had. he was the architect of the failed system of trickle-down economics and the great proponent of the culture of greed [no matter what you might think from that clip of him talking about how the rich should pay their fair share, because it turns out he didn't actually mean it]- this is not something people should back on with such maudlin nostalgia.

the more i think about it, the more i come up with one incontrovertible fact: the man could give a speech. seriously, who doesn't remember the "tear down this wall" bit? he wasn't called "the great communicator" for nothing. the man could sell ice cubes to polar bears, he was that smooth and there's no better testimony to that than the fact that all those people who were making perfectly rational points about the potential problems of arming religious zealots, drug lords and the generally insane were easily dismissed by his tasty, tasty word-cakes.

so in my mind, the math goes something like: people voted for barack obama... barack obama can give good speeches... people like good speeches... ronald reagan gave good speeches... if the gop could reanimate ronald reagan [or, if necessary, find a reasonable facsimilie], people would vote republican in 2012.

sure, you could argue that reagan got stuff done and that he stood up to people in order to get his way. and sure, there are those who wish obama would grow a pair and stop trying to negotiate with a republican party fringe who are in serious need of a time out. but wishing that obama was more like reagan because you wish he was stronger-willed is like saying you want to spend a million dollars on a burnt out crack-house because you like the doorway.

rather than one who can offer the succor of sweet words, what i really long for is someone who could instigate some positive change for once.

friday favourites 23.12.11

2011-12-23T16:59:00.006-05:00

it's the penultimate friday of the year and, like a proverbial christmas miracle, we've just gotten a light dusting of snow in montreal. personally, i've never been preoccupied with the need for a white christmas, mostly because i realise that there will be plenty of opportunities to see snow over the next few months. like in april. but i know that you're supposed to have snow in time for the holidays and as long as there are big white fluffy flakes coming down, it generally means that it's not so cold that you can't breathe. and that's always a plus.

so for this week, i decided to dispense with my usual humbug and make myself confront the hidden truth: there are things that i actually really like about this time of year. i'm normally the kind of person who gets frustrated by this season- the endless exhortations to buy, the phony sentiment, the experience of traveling [something which i'm happy i haven't had to do in a few years] all set to a soundtrack of the corniest, cheesiest, most irritating music ever composed... it can all get a bit much. but that doesn't mean it's all bad. so here goes...

christmas greens :: i really like the tradition of adorning the house with various sorts of evergreens. the tree, yes, but wreaths and boughs and such just immediately perk me up. of course, i was late off the mark this year and didn't get a wreath [i was being picky and then the next thing you know, everything was sold out...] so i have to live vicariously through those on my neighbours' doors, but that's ok. in fact, it's really not much different than having one myself, since i wouldn't get to appreciate mine once i was inside anyway.

i do love decorating the place with simple branches and boughs, which are something i can enjoy inside and which are so enjoyable not just because they look nice, but because of the heavenly scent that they impart. both dom and i are very scent-sitive types, always burning incense, having baths, trying fragrances and both of us agree that the fresh and deep perfume of evergreens- fir, spruce, pine, cedar- is always a winner.

lights :: although they can get overdone, when christmas lights are done well, there's little that's as pleasing to the eye. in fact, i've determined that if i didn't have to do things like read and see, i'd just light the place with arrangements of christmas lights all year. montreal generally does an extremely tasteful job of illuminating itself, which is just one more reason to go strolling through the streets of this exquisite city.

ghost stories :: this is actually a tradition i'd like to bring back from the grave [yukyuk], one that apparently stems from the victorians, who were so repressed that they liked to make everything gloomy. although our modern [american] culture dictates that the time of the year for ghost stories is a few weeks earlier, at halloween, the victorians enjoyed gathering around a great blazing fire [normally in a fireplace] and tell terrifying tales to children, in order to ensure that they proceeded to adulthood with the proper level of psychological scar tissue.

sadly, this is a tradition that has waned over the years, possibly due to the fact that fewer and fewer homes have real story-telling fireplaces and possibly due to the fact that if you want to frighten your children, you can just read them newspaper articles.the tradition has "died out" [stop with the puns or you'll get to be a ghost for xmas -ed.] so completely that few people even realise it was a tradition. although there is one glaring example of a yuletide ghost story that we have crammed down our throats with extra gravy each year.

but i think that the long hours of darkness, the barren trees and moaning winds could not be more appropriate for gothic tales of visits from beyond the grave and i encourage everyone to indulge their urges to celebrate family by ensuring they don't get a moment's sleep over the holiday season.

the feast :: under normal circumstances, i rarely cook or eat meat, but for some reason, i get really excited over the prospect of doing the big traditional holiday dinner. i've always enjoyed cooking and somehow this has morphed into a real preoccupation with some type of yuletide food-fest. i think that part of the preoccupation comes from the fact that, up until a few years ago, i was only rarely in my own home to prepare a dinner, so it was an unusual event that i got to do the cooking.

in recent years, it has become an annual tradition and last year, i even had a proper crowd- me, dom, my mother and dom's parents- so that there weren't two months of leftovers in the freezer afterward. this year, it'll just be the two of us [me and dom] and a scheduling glitch means that we won't be having our dinner until a couple of days after the "proper" date, but dammit, i'm still cooking dinner.

the cleaning right hundred dishes part that comes subsequently doesn't make it to my favourites list, but i can say that i do ultimately feel like it's worth it. i'll try to remember to post the menu and photos. [note: i've actually gone out on a limb this year and have made up a couple of the recipes i'm using. so when i post said menu and photos, you'll know that i didn't kill anyone.]

rarest of the rare :: normally, holiday themed ads annoy the piss out of me, but every now and again, there is one that gets a legitimate chuckle. this one, for local telecommunications provider videotron has been in such heavy rotation that it should make me want to throw things at the screen, but, perhaps because i've gone through a lot of holidays with the ooh-ing and ahh-ing on cue, i simply continue to giggle to myself. [this ad is infectious, too. we were at my almost-in-laws for a gift exchange last week and everyone was imitating this ad when each present was unwrapped.]

thanks, as always, for reading and i do hope you have a happy holiday. i was going to post a photo of the cats in santa costumes, but they let me know in their own subtle way that if i tried to dress them up, i would have to add "a new right eye" to my christmas wish list. so here's a more dignified photo... well, kinda...

making faces :: ooh, sparkly!

2011-12-21T22:54:00.000-05:00

people have very mixed feelings about sparkling. that's not just a "twilight" thing, either, although that's certainly made the debate a little more contentious. on the one hand, there's the fact that people who sparkle can look a little weird- which is sort of the crux of the "twilight" bit, as i understand it- and decidedly unnatural. on the other hand, our eyes are naturally drawn to things that have sparkle because they stand out. but at this time of year, it seems like the message to women everywhere is that you're supposed to sparkle, because if you don't, you'll get lost in the long hours of darkness that mark the winter solstice.

i'm a little long in the tooth [which is kind of an odd expression, since teeth tend to get worn down with age] to get away with anything full on glittery, but i do still enjoy having a bit of lustre from time to time. here are a few of the things that help me scratch that itch [without causing other itches, which is sometimes a problem with sparkly things].

armani eyes to kill shadow #19 :: i completely adore these little pots of awesome that come in a dozen colours as part of the regular armani line. you can read my original review here, where i talked about "lust red". since then, i've added "pulp fiction", an dark, earthy cool silver and "purpura" a mix of gold and royal purple that is unlike anything i've laid eyes on before.

this is the sort of product that gives me a childlike sense of wonder and joy, because it feels like a cream, applies like a cream, but it's clearly a powder. you can apply it wet or dry and, apart from a few stray sparkles on first application [that are easily brushed away], it doesn't get everywhere and it stays put like it's fused with your dna.

for the holidays, armani has released three new, limited shades that are a slightly different take on the formula. these ones seem to have less of a strong base colour and more shimmer. the powders are even finer than the regular ones and have even more sparkle to them. there's a soft gold, a bright silver and then there's #19, a pure platinum that combines the two. there's something about this sort of shade that makes me think immediately of the 1930s and art deco, when platinum and white gold suddenly came to prominence [both as a metal and a hair colour]. this shade probably isn't something you're going to wear to the office- even more so than the regular eyes to kill shades, which are all a bit "dressy" to my eye- but it's definitely the sort of thing that will brighten your regard at a soiree.

FOLLOW THE SPARKLY PATH...

new order blush on the right

nars blush "new order" :: this came out with the nars summer and, despite the fact that they have a new highlighter out with their holiday collection [the shimmery peachy "miss liberty", which is incredible in itself], i still think that this one is an excellent holiday choice. it's a light powder pink with a lot of gold and silver sparkle that adds a little colour on the fairest skin, but mostly adds a sort of diffuse fine glitter and rosy glow to the face, decollete... basically wherever you want to dust it. i know that a lot of people didn't enjoy the effect of this blush, but i love it [you can read my original review here.]. it makes me feel like i have my own personal lighting crew following me around. this is not something where the effect won't be noticed, so you'll probably want to keep this one to events that have lower lighting, but it's still something great to have in your arsenal. [there is absolutely nothing wrong with that sentence, but it just sounds... bad.]

bobbi brown eye shadow "black sparkle" :: i picked this up with bobbi's utterly uncharacteristically dark "black velvet" collection in the fall of 2010 and i find that, while there are a lot of cosmetic companies that have shimmery black shadows [namely, all of them], this one stands out because, rather than looking like a sheer black base with a couple of flecks of dry glitter in it, this one actually adds depth and the sort of sparkle that immediately makes you look mischievous. might not be the best choice if you're due for an appearance in court, but lovely for a night out. i do experience some fallout with this one, which means that you're probably better off applying eye shadow first then foundation, a lesson i have learned the hard way.

natural light

chanel vernis [also known as nail polish] "graphite" :: i occasionally want to kick myself for starting to look at chanel nail polishes, because it's a slippery slope. ever since uma thurman sported chanel's deep blood-red "vamp" for her date with john travolta in "pulp fiction", it seems like chanel polishes have gained a mythical stature in the public imagination, including portions of the public who wouldn't notice high end cosmetics otherwise. therefore, chanel's limited edition polishes can create quite a feeding frenzy and with reason. they are the standard bearers and every one of their coveted lovelies spawns an army of imitators, but quite often, there's some nuance to the original that remains unique to it.

with flash

the thing is, my feelings on the chanel polish formula are a little mixed. i like but don't love a lot of the shades and i find that the subtleties are often more visible in the bottle than on the nail [paradoxal, i'm looking in your direction]. but this fall, with the release of graphite, the stars aligned. the carbon black base with its mixed of gold and silver shimmer/ glitter [really something in between, since it's more pronounced than a shimmer, but completely smooth at the same time] is bound to draw the eye and at the same time, it applies perfectly and lasts well longer than most polishes on me [most of which start to show wear after about 6 hours].

although this one is limited, it's still available, so you can pick one up at your leisure.

mac dazzle lipstick "liquid lurex" :: well it wouldn't be me if i didn't include at least one discontinued product you have to hunt down. here's the thing: this should be fairly easy to find because 1. it was only released in 2010, so it's not like it's been out of circulation that long and 2. it was actually released twice in quick succession, first with mac's "digipops" collection in the summer and then again two months later with the "fabulous felines" collection. so in theory, there should be lots of them out there. of course, in theory, the united states has the most fantastically incorruptible system of political checks and balances ever devised and communism works out well for everybody. but still, you should be able to find this with a little exercising of your google fingers.

all of mac's dazzle finish lipsticks warrant a look. they're like a frost finish on steroids, but they have absolutely none of the irritating aspects of regular frost-finish lipsticks- they aren't drying [quite the opposite, in fact], they aren't gritty, they're smooth to apply... so of course it makes perfect sense that mac tried them and then never brought them back again. oh well.

this shade stands out in particular because i've simply never seen anything like it. lots of companies have a holiday gold [dior has a pretty-looking one as part of their holiday collection this year] which can be worn on its own or layered for effect, but this is not just gold. it's more like an antique gold kind of look, much cooler in tone than what you'd normally think of when you think of the colour "gold", because it has elements of grey and green mixed in. and somehow, this works.

i took the close up shot of this lipstick and then realised that i was doing it a disservice. yes, the thick shimmer applies somewhat unevenly and there's nothing you can really do about it. it's very obvious close up. but seen at "human distance", that doesn't matter, because the shimmer particles catch the light and you don't notice the slightly patchy distribution. the full-face photo is a much better representation of how the shade actually looks.

so, yes, it's discontinued and a bit tricky to find, but absolutely worth the hunt!

and those are a few of my sparkling favourites. feel free to recommend some of your own.

stuff i want for christmas [that only santa can bring me]

2011-12-20T23:17:00.003-05:00

while i'm always uber-grateful for the things that i get from friends and family [and dom, who is both of those things, but also more], each year i have a holiday list of things i'd really, really like to get, but which no one is going to be able to deliver. unless santa is real. and even then, i'd like to see how he fits them into his sack.

frothing with perversion

a rick santorum gay sex scandal :: tell me that you aren't thinking about the near-inevitability of this every time the guy appears on screen. that combination of uncomfortable tight-assedness and ignorant hatred is almost always a sure sign of some really weird skeletons in the closet. and let's face it, when the iowa caucus happens on january 3rd, santorum is going to be the one on the chopping block, so we don't have long before he'll be out of the spotlight permanently. the only candidate who fares worse in iowa polls is john huntsman, who has let it be known that he could care less if the entire state of iowa gets taken into space as an alien holiday present, because he's all about new hampshire. [as an aside, does anyone else think that kim jong-il is the best thing that has happened to huntsman's campaign? after months of struggling for coverage, huntsman has suddenly become the beneficiary of hours of network news coverage, since he seems to be the only person in america who knows anything about north korea that didn't come from team america: world police.]

a job i could love :: i've mentioned before that i am in the process of looking for a job. it's kind of a depressing thing to be doing and about the only thing that's more depressing than being out of work is seeing the kind of jobs that are out there. i'm not being intransigent either. a couple of the places i've gone for a meeting in recent months have been notable chiefly because they've ended with me offering to leave samples of antidepressants i have in my purse. i'm pretty eager to find something that guarantees a regular paycheque, but even i have my doubts about going to work somewhere that has motivational posters like "abandon hope all ye who enter here" and "arbeit macht frei".

i've been lucky with my last couple of positions, except for the fact that they were fixed-term contracts, in that the places where i was working were fairly well-balanced and weren't inordinately stressful. it's funny, because sometimes my coworkers there weren't aware of the fact that these places were fairly low-stress. because they hadn't shared some of my more interesting work experiences, such as:

- having to stay at the office until six a.m. making alterations to a presentation, then getting criticised for coming in at 9:30 the next morning.

hell, i do this for free on the metro and bus

- receiving a hysterical, all-caps email from a company owner on boxing day accusing me of slacking off [with many other people copied] because i hadn't answered a question he'd asked the day before. for those of you unfamiliar with the term boxing day, it's the day after christmas.

- getting chased around my desk [literally] by my boss's good friend.

- having my head pounded into a wall by an irate supplier who hadn't been paid for his work on the building's heater and had come back to start pulling the heater apart. followed by my boss telling me [once he'd arrived] that it was partly my fault because i shouldn't have let the supplier in [despite the fact that i'd met him several times and had no reason to disbelieve him when he said he was there on business].

when these are the standards by which you measure a working environment, anything that doesn't result in a trip to some kind of hospital is acceptable.

but- and i say this knowing that beggars aren't supposed to be choosy [although, if you've ever tried offering them something to eat, you know they can be]- i'd really like to be able to find something that isn't just acceptable, but that i'd actually enjoy. i have some ideas in that regard, but i'm also willing to be surprised. because given my work experience, it's generally only good things that will surprise me.

stephen harper getting some sort of incapacitating illness :: it may surprise you to know that i don't actually want something awful to happen to my prime minister. seriously, i don't. i just want him to be removed from working for a while, because he's such an incredible control freak [rumour has it that he strongly encourages his ministers and their staff to use the term "harper government" rather than "canadian government", as a way of making them forget who's paying their salaries] and at the same time, so adept at pitching his message to his base. i think that the only thing that will show how backward and flat-out dangerous the current canadian government is will be if the cult leader is prohibited from interfering for a while. i greatly look forward to seeing the scrum where peter kent is wailing about not being able to find the keys to his office or john baird is flipping out because someone changed his computer password from "password".

the ability to speak a whole lot of languages fluently :: not much to say on this one, it's just something i've always wanted to be able to do. as it is, i struggle with two.

sadly, i'm guessing that the only one of these i have a shot at getting for christmas is the first...

so what's on your unlikely santa list? and don't say world peace, because that would mean you're much too good to be reading this blog.

making faces :: berry xmas

2011-12-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

you are powerless to resist. well, i am, at least.

well i've no doubt exhausted all of you with the litany of red lipsticks in my possession [or, if i haven't, let me tell you how spectacularly awesome i think you are], but can i share a little secret? i actually love me a really rich berry-toned lip as much or more than a good red. well, it depends on who we're talking about here. reds are strong, classic, timeless. berries are cooler, more reserved, perhaps a little more difficult to pin down.

and speaking of difficult to pin down... what exactly constitutes a "berry" shade anyway?

well, it's not like there's an organisation that makes rules for these things [yes there is, it's called pantone -ed.]. i'll just give you my idea of what "berry" means, which, considering i'm the one who's writing this blog post, is really all you'll need to navigate your way through the shades that follow.

a few months ago, i did a post on "coral", a shade that gets talked about a lot, but which is actually a whole range of tones with varying degrees of orange, pink and red. i sort of consider "berry" a similar sort of animal [and, for the sake of argument, we're going to say that i didn't just create a colossally mixed metaphor there]. however, where corals always have a warmth to them, i'd say that berries are always cooler, being a mix of pink, red and purple. shades that are called berry can lean towards one more than the other, but normally have some element of all three included. and since i adore both reds and purples, it's obvious why berry shades should be so particularly to my liking.

if you prefer a more visual way of seeing this, here's my advice: go pick up a mixed berry/ field berry/ bumble berry pie. important: you will want the pie to be warm but not hot for this test. cut yourself a slice of pie and let the filling leak out a little on the plate. scoop up a bit of the filling with your finger and place it on the back of your hand. gently spread the filling from the back of your hand in a nice line, allowing it to become sheerer and sheerer until you don't see any more colour. what you have created is both a mess and a range of berry shades, from the dark spot where you originally deposited the pie filling to the last faint bit of colour. actually, this will also give you an idea of how berry shades will look on you, when you find them in cosmetics and not food.

wash [or lick] the back of your hand. think about which shades you liked the most of your "berry continuum". eat the pie.

although reds tend to hog all the attention [they're like that], berry-tones are actually just as stunning for a night-out-friendly look. and although the shades themselves tend to be cool, like corals, there's enough complexity to the colours themselves that they can work on warmer skins as well as cool, dark and light. it's just a question of finding one [or two] that you really like.

here are some that i do an which i felt were particularly in keeping with the holiday season.

guerlain rouge g :: gigolo

from the moment i laid eyes on this deep, saturated, glossy berry shade, i knew we were meant to be together. it packs a powerful colour punch, without seeming incredibly bold or overly dark. like most great berry shades, its mix of red, pink and purple shifts depending on the light. you can see on the lip swatch that the red tone is more pronounced, but if you look at the shots taken with flash, the pink and purple tones are much more evident.

whereas something like chanel's dragon is linked in my mind to the glamour icons of the forties and fifties, gigolo seems like something from a slightly earlier era, like the darker lips sported by flappers in the twenties. so when i donned this look [for dom's office christmas party, which is possibly the most awesome office christmas party in the history of office christmas parties], i actually kept that in mind, pairing it with a fairly thickly lined eye and not much else.

as an aside, i wish i'd taken a full shot of what i was wearing, because the whole thing was very 20s-inspired, including the dress, the costume beads [which you can see a bit] and- although a photo wouldn't have made a difference here- the perfume i was wearing. as a nod to their aspirations to gender equality, flappers used to don scents traditionally worn by men, leading to one of the first unisex scent trends. i chose tom ford's "extreme", which is intended for men or women and has a bold, smoky-and-spicy presence i love [and which seems to love me].

eyes ::
giorgio armani eyes to kill e/s "purpura" [purple-gold mix]
laura mercier e/s "african violet" [orchid purple with gold shimmer]
inglot e/s "351" [matte peachy highlight]
mac eye kohl "smolder" [black]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
mac mineralize skinfinish "lightscapade"* [cool white highlighter]
mac blush "strada" [cool pinkish taupe]

lips ::
guerlain rouge g "gigolo"

*suggested alternates :: lightscapade = guerlain meteorites teint rose

now that i think of it, was it wrong of me to wear a lipstick called "gigolo" to my boyfriend's office party?

IT'S JUST BURSTING WITH BERRIES AFTER THE BREAK...

mac :: desire

this is described on mac's web site as "warmed burgandy wine". aside from that appalling typo [burgundy is one of those words that the cosmetic industry seems to have an inordinately difficult time spelling], what stands out to me about the description is that not one of those words is accurate.

in this berry, the purple tones dominate, which in my mind disqualifies it from ever being a truly warm shade and both "burgundy" [however you want to try to spell it] and "wine" imply reds tinged with more brown than is presented here. but you're not buying the description, you're buying the colour. or, in my case, buying it and buying it and buying it again.

"desire" is one of those examples of what happens when mac does absolutely everything right. there is a reason why it's been a steadfast presence in their lipstick lineup for a decade or more: it's pretty much flawless.

for starters, it's an object lesson in why people love mac's lustre finish so much. although it's a dark colour, almost intimidating in the tube, it applies in sheer layers and can be built up. it's never 100% opaque, but it can be made fairly dark. you can fine tune it to your needs [which, incidentally, makes it a perfect day-to-night shade if you can't change your makeup or don't feel like bothering]. it applies evenly and fades the same way, usually leaving a lovely stain in its wake.

every time i start to think that mac are losing their way, i pull this little wonder out and remind myself why i was so impressed with them to begin with.

eyes ::
mac e/s "white wheat"* [shimmery white-gold]
mac e/s "twillery"* [warm shimmery neutral]
mac e/s "velour"* [soft matte plum-grey]
mac e/s "inventive"* [deep berry]
mac fluidline eye liner "dark diversion"* [dark plum]
makeup forever concealer pencil "light" [flesh-coloured pencil used along water line]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
mac blush ombre "vintage grape"* [deep berry-purple]
mac mineralize skinfinish "perfect topping"* [mauve-being highlight]

lips ::
mac l/s "desire"

suggested alternates :: white wheat = mac white gold pigment; twillery= mac prolongwear e/s "sweet satisfaction; velour = mac quarry; inventive = mac trax; dark diversion = bobbi brown gel liner "black plum ink"; vintage grape = mac dirty plum, but it'll also be available starting monday december 26th as part of the daphne guinness collection; perfect topping = guerlain meteorites teint beige

yves st. laurent rouge pur couture :: pourpre carmin

a little while ago, dom and i were taking the subway home, having stopped for a quick peek at some makeup counters [i like to torture myself while i'm shopping for other people's presents] and he mentioned that yves st. laurent had really upped their game and that they suddenly seemed to have a lot of great products he hadn't noticed.

now, let's be clear, dom doesn't hang out at cosmetic counters in his spare time. he just lives with someone [me] who thinks and talks about these things too much and he's polite enough to pay attention so that a surprising amount of information actually sticks. but it's not like he's digging through these things every day. so it says something when a more casual observer notices improvements like that.

more specifically, it says that it's probably true and it is.

leading the charge, for me, is the rouge pur couture lipstick line. these are gradually replacing the plain ol' "rouge pur" variety, which only makes sense since the formula is smoother, richer and lasts longer. the idea, as one of their makeup artists explained it to me, is that the company will discontinue shades in the old formula and add equivalent shades in the new. which makes perfect sense, it's just that even if you ignore the improvements in the quality, the new shades are so much nicer than anything they had before.

take, for example, "pourpre carmin", alternately know by the whimsical moniker "no. 32". i'm not sure what shade this is replacing, but i am pretty damn sure that there was nothing this beautiful in the old ysl line up. as a berry shade, it's just on the cusp of being full-on vampy [although it can be applied lightly for a less dramatic effect]. i find that the pink notes dominate here, although it's dark enough that you see some of the purple as well. one thing that's interesting is how this formula really seems to catch and reflect light. in the full-face shots, i find it looks much lighter than it did in person.

like some of the other very dark rouge pur couture shades, i find that this one works a bit better when lined. it can last really well on its own, but does become a little fuzzy on reapplication [unless you just wipe it all off and start from scratch]. this is a tiny quibble. everything else about the satiny, rich colour is spot-on. and that spot is a simply stunning dark berry colour.

eyes ::
mac e/s "silverthorn"* [cool light grey]
mac mega-metal e/s "noir plum"* [deep grape purple]
mac mega-metal e/s "unflappable"* [purplish black]
mac e/s "pincurl"* [dirty off-white]
mac e/s "white rabbit"* [shimmery white]
mac powerpoint eye liner "black swan"* [black with silver shimmer]
guerlain eye kohl black
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
lancome glowy ballerine butterflies fever blush* [very pale cool pink]

lips ::
yves st. laurent rouge pur couture no.32 "pourpre carmin"

*suggested alternates :: silverthorn = mac e/s "electra" [brighter, a more true silver]; noir plum = mac grape pigment; unflappable = mac e/s "smut"; pincurl = mac e/s "crystal [a little darker and more purple]; white rabbit = mac e/s "crystal avalanche"; black swan = urban decay 24/7 liner "oil slick"; butterflies fever = mac blush "well dressed"

guerlain rouge g le brilliant "bee"

i'll just make my apologies now. i thought about throwing something else in just for the heck of it, because i don't want to be a source of cosmetic frustration to anybody, but my heart just wasn't there. i really can't do a piece about my favourite holiday-like berry shades without including guerlain's "bee", because it's so lovely. and it's discontinued. and i'm sorry.

originally launched as part of their holiday 2010 collection, "bee" is part of the "rouge g brilliant" line, which are normally shades that are sheerer than the regular rouge g lipsticks. but "bee" is having none of that. while it might not be as opaque as "gigolo" [there are walls that are less opaque than "gigolo"], it is by no means a sheer lipstick. i would say that the formula is softer and shinier than a regular rouge g, which also means it doesn't last quite as long, but there's plenty of colour punch.

"bee"'s magic is in the sparkle that's strewn throughout it, not in a tacky way, but in a way that gives an almost unbelievable sense of depth to the colour. light plays on it like stars reflected on a still pond in the middle of the night. i've honestly never seen anything quite like it. [well, almost never. mac actually had a purple-berry shade of their own years back called "so original", which had a similar kind of sparkle, although it was a little frostier. in neither case do i have the faintest idea how this strange effect was accomplished, nor do i know if it's a coincidence that both use a purple-berry base colour.] this shade always looks incredibly lustrous, remarkably like that wonderful pie filling i had you smear on your arm earlier.

yes, it is currently unavailable. but that doesn't mean you can't get it. if you keep an eye out, it's bound to turn up. i actually didn't get mine until it was technically "sold out" and if i can find it, so can you. and trust me, this one is worth hunting down.

eyes ::
mac e/s "vex" [dirty ivory-green with pink duochrome]
mac pigment "pink opal" [white with pink sheen]
mac e/s "restless"* [soft neutral grey]
nars e/s duo "grand palais" [rosy taupe side only]
mac e/s "bravado"* [shimmery rose]
mac greasepaint stick "dirty" [dark grey-taupe]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
mac blush "amazon princess"* [wild rose pink]
mac magically cool liquid powder [peachy highlight]

lips ::
guerlain rouge g le brilliant "bee"

*suggested alternates :: restless = mac copperplate; bravado = nars caravaggio e/s duo [darker side]; amazon princess = mac "love thing" + mac "dollymix"

friday favourites 16.12.11

2011-12-16T11:56:00.000-05:00

i know that this is supposed to be my little positivity puddle at the end of the week, but it will make me feel better in light of the last week if i just start off by saying this: on behalf of a great number of canadians, i'm sorry about stephen harper.

yes, canada is now taking a leadership role on the world stage by being the first country to walk away from its commitments under the kyoto accord and underlining the meaning of that gesture by ensuring that it has absolutely no meaningful alternate strategy. go ahead, mock us. it's almost funny if you don't have to live here. he has always and continues to cast a dark cloud over the country. now we know the cloud is probably poisonous.

but there are some bright spots, and that's the purpose of "friday favourites" after all. onward and upward, while i can still breathe the air.

tell lowe's to get screwed :: yes folks, it's time for a good ol' fashioned boycottin'. in case you hadn't heard, lowe's home improvement decided in their infinite corporate wisdom to pull their advertising from the "learning" channel's "all-american muslim", a program that shows american muslims behaving a lot like other americans who, as it turns out, behave a lot like canadians... we're all a bit less interesting than we might have believed. except that a group called the florida family association felt that the show wasn't doing enough to promote fear and hatred of muslims. [ the florida family association is possibly less of a group and more of a crusading loon named david caton wrapping himself in the language of fundatmentalist christianity- i think it's about time we stop pretending people like this are christians in any meaningful sense of the word.] lowe's yanked their advertising after receiving bulk emails from the f.f.a., thus tacitly endorsing the group's viewpoint. to be clear: the group's viewpoint that all muslims everywhere are actively plotting the overthrow of america and christianity.

sometimes, folks, you need to allow yourself to be overwhelmed with a sense of pride that, despite all your flaws [and by "your", i mean "my"], you are not a hate-mongering zealot and even though capitalism might have its problems, it does at least allow us all the ability to vote with our money.

of course, if you'd like to do something more, you could always contact lowe's directly. you can send an email [it's quick!] through their customer service sites at either

www.lowes.com or
www.lowes.ca if you're in canada

alternately, you could just go to company c.e.o. robert a. niblock directly. here's his contact info:

Lowe's Companies, Inc.
1000 Lowe's Blvd
Mooresville, NC 28117
Phone: 704-758-2084
robert.a.niblock@lowes.com

[information from consumerist.com, who advise that his assistant's name is tammy and that she's the one who answers that number]

of course, i could never condone anyone committing any kind of physical damage on lowe's property.

that would just be wrong.

[i'd also advise boycotting www.kayak.com, an online travel site that pulled their advertising, except i don't think anyone is using kayak.com to begin with. the florida family association claims that 75 advertisers have pulled out of the show as a result of their campaign. which would mean that "all-american muslim" originally had more advertisers than pretty much any show in recorded history.]

nuxe :: all this frustration and outrage takes a toll on one's epidermis and, while i don't know if i'll ever be able to commit to a monogamous relationship with a skin care brand, i have recently become enamoured with several products from nuxe.

i'm kind of a sucker for brands with a natural approach, possibly because i've usually found such products more gentle on my occasionally picky skin. their products are lightly scented, mostly like different bouquets of spring flowers on a dewy morning- gentle and never offputting. i've thus far tried their three roses cleansing milk, which is a decent makeup remover and gentle cleanser, their ultra-nourishing lip balm [which has lived up to its name and has been an absolute necessity for my poor parched lips in the last couple of weeks] and, most recently, their prodigieux eye cream.

two things you should know about me:

1. my eyes are a consistent problem area and have been since i was in my teens. i have the whole gamut- puffiness, dark circles and, from a surprisingly young age, fine lines in the corners. all of this is pretty much genetic, a combination of the worst genes from both sides of my family [thank you so f@$king much, genetics].

2. i don't believe i have ever re-purchased an eye cream. it's not that i get frustrated at their ability to fix everything, i'm a reasonable woman. but i do get frustrated at their inability to fix anything, which just convinces me that any substance that imparts moisture is a perfectly adequate eye cream.

so now that i've shared that, i'll let you in on a little secret: i will be purchasing another container of nuxe prodigieux as soon as i start to run low, because it hydrates, smooths and basically does what it can with the tangled genetic vine that is my eye contour.

now i can just go back to being smug about having inherited the genes with the 20/20 vision.

you can check their store locator for dealers near you. pricing is generally higher thana mass-market drugstore prices, but lower than prestige brand prices.

conservative death threats vs. what my wife will do to me

doing the right thing :: many of you likely heard the story of gulnaz, the afghan woman, now 21, who was raped by her cousin's husband and then sentenced to 12 years in prison for adultery. this week, afghan president hamid karzai freed gulnaz unconditionally [quashing rumours that she was released with the caveat that she marry her attacker]. the young woman left prison with her daughter- yes, born of the rape- on wednesday.

cnn was eager to take the credit for this, claiming that their reportage had pressured the president into this step, but i suspect that, ultimately, there might have been something a little more personal at work. his wife, zeenat quaraishi karzai, is a former obstetrician and gynecologist who spent years working with afghan refugees in pakistan before she was married [at a comparatively late age by the standards of the society]. while i'm sure cnn brought international pressure to bear [they keep saying they did] the prospect of spending the rest of his presidency sleeping on the guest chair in his office seems like it could have been fairly persuasive as well.

a mix of monsters...

monster factory :: obviously, there are enough bad monsters in the world, it seems only right that i wrap up this week with a reminder of the good ones.

i've been a fan of this toronto-based company for years and i am the proud owner of three of their monsters [including an original "mr. chow", with his old tie, before the material used to make it was discontinued by the supplier]. i hope to continue adding to that total. i love everything about these guys, from the quirky personalities given to each monster they make to the fact that their creations so closely figure the friendly monsters in my head [see my post about my insomnia, neville].

i'm particularly excited because, after a very long wait, the entirely "morely brothers" collection- both brothers and their mom- is once again available. trust me, any of the eccentrics in your life would be thrilled to have one of these guys as a xmas gift. or two, because they actually make super-fantastic throw cushions to put on a sofa.

and that's all for this week's edition of "friday favourites". here's this week's cute kitteh pic to send you off in a good mood. thanks very much for reading!

dead

2011-12-15T20:41:00.001-05:00

i have not done this before but...

look at the image i've chosen to start off this post. does it make you feel squeamish? then chances are the rest of this short story will too. please conduct yourself accordingly.

I think Martin’sdead. He was grey when I left this morning. I didn’t want to touch him because,if he is dead, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to be bound to anyone dead.Hits too close to home. If someone dies in the same room as you, it brings thatangel just a little too close. I’d rather have it be a question mark in mymind. I’d rather not know the right answer. Not that I think I’d mind death.Being dead would either be fine or it would be nothing, which is nothing to beafraid of. What I would mind is the dying part, where you feel yourselfshutting down, feel everything that is your insignificant life rushing out ofyou. I hope I go quickly when I go.

I didn’t reallyknow Martin, but I can’t stop thinking about him now. I’d like to stay the hellaway from that place for a few nights, even if it is convenient to sleep there.A few days in this heat should be enough to do it. Then someone, some poorbastard who’s been unfortunate to land the job of keeping an eye on some richbastard’s empty building, will figure out that he’s in there. He’ll be able tosmell it and he’ll call the police to come and fish out the remains. If peopledidn’t have an aversion to corpses, the police would never know that someonelike Martin had died. Who’d go through the hassle of calling them? But no onewants to be the unlucky fucker who gets to take the four-day old corpse fromthe condemned building. It’s not just me that has a dead body problem.

In order to get mymind back on my regular routine, I went to get cigarettes after I left theplace this morning. I puked on the clerk. It’s not something I feel good aboutand it was my own damn fault. I’d given some guy a blowjob in some bushes fortwenty bucks, because it’s a hell of a lot faster than asking people for change.I haven’t kept anything down in about six days, because if it stays there, I’llchase it out with vodka, and even back when I was healthy, I hated the taste ofcum in my mouth. It was so hot and the tastes were all mixed, this guy’s cum,the couple of gulps of vodka I had left over from what Martin and I got lastnight, vomit from yesterday… everything stays when you don’t brush your teeth.This is what people used to taste all the time. I got to the store and I justwanted cigarettes, but I could feel everything churning, these vile tastescoagulating in my mouth and I needed to get that out of my body as fast aspossible. I felt it coming too late.

This poor clerkwas probably only a couple of years older than me. She probably has a normallife and a plan, or at least a vision of her future and up until a few hoursago, it did not include getting hit with vomit by some homeless teen trying tobuy smokes. She wanted me out of the store so bad she gave me the cigarettesfor free, just told me to take them and get the fuck out of her sight. Underthe circumstances, this was probably the nicest reaction I could have expected.

I walked abouteight blocks away, in case she called the cops, and then I took a long drinkfrom the beer I’d stolen from her. Thinking about this poor blonde girl’s faceas she registered that I had just thrown up on her, I feel badly for stealingthe beer, especially since she gave me the cigarettes I had anticipated payingfor. At that point, the beer was already tucked away in my pocket, so Icouldn’t just give her the money for it without her knowing that I had beengoing to steal it.

A little of thepuke got in my hair. I can still see it there in a crusty lump. I wonder ifanyone who knew me a few years ago would recognize me now. I was that littlerich bitch you probably hated. My parents had a second car that was basicallymine. I’d drive to school. I’d drive my friends around. I dated footballplayers. I wore make-up and had a lot of clothes. I don’t know exactly what I plannedto do, but I know it involved going to college, to university, having a home,having friends, having a boyfriend and eventually a husband. That was whathappened when you got out of high school.

None of thethoughts I had were of any consequence, up until about three months before Igraduated. I can’t even remember them now, so unimportant they were. What I’mthinking about now isn’t of any importance either, but before, I wasn’t awareof it. Back then, I thought that the world would end if I didn’t get a datewith the guy I wanted, or if I didn’t improve my chemistry marks, or if I got ascratch on my parents’ car. Blissful ignorance, I think they call it.

What I canremember very clearly is being at a graduation party. I don’t know who washaving it, but it was huge, a whole house crawling with people. There were allmy friends, all of us drinking beer and wine coolers, screwing in the bedroomsthat were supposedly off limits and doing an excellent job of destroyingsomeone’s parents’ expensive furniture. I was sitting with my friend, Kelly,both of us with our bleached-blonde hair and our pastel tops, talking aboutsomething, talking in slurred voices and laughing a lot. We were so wrecked.Kelly passed out while we were talking and slumped right down on the floor.People were laughing about it, but no one seemed very worried. I was annoyedbecause I felt like I had to take care of her, like I couldn’t just go back andenjoy the party. If I didn’t take care of her, she could choke on her own vomit,or she could slip into a coma. And she had to get home at some point, whateverher condition happened to be. I tried moving her, I tried struggling with herto get her to her feet. The human body is a strange thing. It can be completelyinert and yet when you try to move it, arms and legs keep springing out at themost awkward angles. While I was doing this, I guess I disturbed something,because I suddenly felt this hot liquid on my foot. I’m trying to help her andthere is Kelly, unconscious and peeing her pants on the tile floor of some richkid’s basement. The idea of it happening to her, little princess that she was,was funny. The feeling of urine on my leg, less funny.

That is the mostvivid memory I have of high school, that warmth and the smell, the ammoniafumes that puffed up from the crime scene. I dropped her and retreated to thebathroom, wanting to get the stuff out of my shoes and my pant leg. There inthe midst of this drunken orgy, people crashing into walls and screaming outtowards their brilliant futures, here I was, alone, in the bathroom of thebasement of this big house, trying to wash away the urine. A girl who has beenmy friend for a few years, who I realized, as I’m washing her stain out of me,that I hardly knew. Why should I have felt like taking care of her?

I stood and Iscrubbed and watched the people I could see outside the bathroom, through thecrack where I’d left the door just a little ajar. I could hear their roar and Isee them staggering past in little clusters. I could see their lunges for eachother, some successful. There I was at the zoo and one of the animals hassoiled me. This is the sort of incident that snaps you back into sobriety. Iwas the queen of a very small world when I got to that party. Then, I’m just aconfused girl standing in the lavatory washing someone’s piss off her clothingand watching her peers. They’re filthy and they’ve stained me with their filth.I can’t get that mark off me, no matter what I do. It won’t come out.

What were theylooking forward to that they were so raucous and pleased with themselves?

What was I lookingforward to?

I got sick in thebathroom looking at their red, grinning faces. I didn’t even bother to aim thatwell, because no one else seemed to be bothered by this mess. I just puked,wiped my mouth and left.

That is my moment;Me becoming self-aware.

I’ve spoken toother people on the streets and they all have a moment where they knew thatthis is where they were headed. Most of them have stories that are more understandable,more direct than mine. I talked to a woman once at a diner who told me thatshe’d left her husband of 18 years. He’d beat her two or three times a week,landed her in hospital, fractured her arm so she couldn’t move it all that wellany more, cut her leg so that there was a big ugly scar most of the way downher thigh. One night, when she was six months pregnant with their fourth child,he knocked her down a staircase. She’d lost the baby. Its name was Ethan,because she knew it was a boy and she’d always loved the name. She had thenames of all of her children, including Ethan, tattooed on the back of hershoulder. Ethan had a little black teardrop next to his name. So did two of thethree others. Those two lived to be teenagers, but they died from heroinoverdoses, less than a year apart. When I talked to this woman, Maureen, was 57and she’d been on the street for a decade. She was decked out like adollar-store version of a French can-can dancer, they kind of old slut you’dcross the street to avoid, because you know she’s crazy. But she didn’t botherme so much. I thought of her and, because I hadn’t been on the street that longwhen I met her, I thought of the people at the party. I’d rather be like her.At least she wasn’t pretending she was clean.

To this day, I canstill call up the feeling of Kelly’s piss on my leg. I thought I saw her once,climbing out of one of those monster SUVs with a guy who looked like anunderwear model. I’ll bet she doesn’t get too drunk around him. Or maybe he’sinto that. I waited until they went inside and then I snuck up to the lawn andpissed on the SUV’s front wheel, giving back the stain she’d given me. Or, ifit wasn’t her I saw that day, I’m passing the stain on to someone similar.

The night of thatparty was the first night I remember feeling that sickness of other people.That revulsion at everyone around me, so proud of the fact that they weregetting so out of control, proud that they could make a mess and someone elsewould clean up, proud that they were acting so crazy.

You want crazy?

I left my parentshouse over nothing, not even a fight. The last words I said to my mother andfather were that I was sorry I forgot to make my bed. They didn’t much care,although they might have been surprised that I bothered to mention that Ihadn’t made the bed. I never made the bed. I never apologized. But theyprobably missed what I meant. I was sorry I hadn’t ever made the bed. Becausethey were simple enough that such a stupid easy gesture would have made themhappy. They’re easy to please, my parents. After I left, someone probably camearound and made them a nice dinner and that would have been enough to make themforget that their daughter had run away. That depth of emotion was what I wasraised with. That depth of emotion was what I had, until some girl I called myfriend brought out that dormant anger.

You want out ofcontrol?

There’s a bar I goto sometimes, when I can afford it, that sells beer for a buck a pint fromseven until eleven. The last time I went there, I’d had a good day. I drank somuch I must have passed out, but I don’t remember that at all. I woke up withsome guy in a leather jacket pounding my head into the bar, while another guywent through my pockets for whatever change I hadn’t spent. I’d never met thembefore. I could see white explosions, like stars going supernova, on theinsides of my eyes. I didn’t know if I should tell him I was awake or not, butI decided it was better to play dead. He stopped eventually and he and hisfriend left. I still have bruises from that. Maybe a concussion, too.

In high school, Iremember seeing a guy groping one of my friends when she was passed out drunkand no one called him on it. This guy is probably a lawyer or something equallyrespectable now. You can do anything when you don’t get caught.

I never figured Iwould make it this long out here. I didn’t want to be a part of thisdisgusting, dirty world, but I still am. I gave myself a month before I felldown in front of the bus, or my liver gave out, or something. It’s been twoyears. I feel like I missed my transfer. I’m waiting for it, that instant whenI can see everything clearly again, when the wool comes off my eyes, when thenarcotic haze is lifted.

I’ve envisionedit, that epiphany when the world makes sense to me again, when I know I can letgo. I used to imagine it when I first got here, when I was expecting it everymorning when I awoke with my greasy hair in my mouth and the smell of cigarettebutts around me. Then, when I realised it wasn’t coming, I got angry. It wasn’tlike I wasn’t trying to cross over.

There’s a trick Ilike to play on all of us, but mostly on myself. I get enough change to takethe subway, or I just walk. I go back to the neighbourhood where I lived, wherethe rest of my family still lives. I hide between houses and watch them, thosepeople who raised me so carefully to be their next generation, who raised me tofit in and be happy. I wonder what they would think of me now. I wonder whatwould happen if I walked up to them and offered my hand. Perhaps they believeI’m dead. I’d want to, in their position.

Today, my fatheris watering the lawn. He shudders just on the cusp of middle age, his body atthat point where he can no longer pass for a younger man. From here, he willexpand, his hair will molt away, or withdraw and reappear somewhere else. Thepinkish flush of his cheeks will darken to a ruddy stain. I can see ithappening, like watching a video sped up.

This is where Igrew up. This is where became who I am, for whatever reason. I have spent moretime in this place than anywhere else. I am made of the people a few feet awayfrom me. Just another man with thinning hair in front of a white house withshutters.

There’s no placeto go but back. I don’t even care if he’s still there. The squat where I wokeup this morning is the only place I know I can go. Perhaps someone will havefound him. If not, can I sleep in there, knowing he’s so close to me, knowingthat he’s breaking down, going back to his elements? I don’t know. But I don’thave another place where I would feel any safer.

I’m climbing upthe stairs, feeling them strain under my weight, when it reaches me. Not athought, but just a weariness. Such a physical weight that I expect thestaircase to splinter underneath me. It’s not the walking, or the sight of myfather, or the sickness that still clings to me. Perhaps this is the onlyepiphany that will come, that we are all weighed down. No freedom, but onlypressure.

There are no signsthat anyone has been here, and so I avoid the room where I suspect Martin isstill waiting. I crawl into another space and press my head into my legs. Thisis where I would cry if I had tears in me. Instead I just think about it, thepressure of my head against my thigh, the heat of it. Wherever the other peoplewho helped me along the path are, this is where I am. No matter what they maytell themselves for comfort, this is what is real. I wait for sleep or aninstant of clarity. One of them will reach me, eventually.

making faces :: the fable of unshrinking violet

2011-12-14T10:44:00.001-05:00

one time, in the land of colour and make-believe, a great and generous family hosted a splendid party for the holidays. the party had a giant tree that was tastefully decorated, not one of those godawful ones with the stringy "icicles" hanging off them, because those damn things get everywhere and you find them in your carpet in july and the cats eat them and barf them up exactly when you're trying to sleep and they don't even look like icicles anyway. this was a wonderful, healthy blue spruce and you know what? it was on the lawn, meaning it was still alive so you don't even have to feel sorry for it.

and the house was decorated in a very tasteful scheme of white and gold lights and there were lovely antique-looking decorations, none of which made sounds, because we all know that gets old after the second time you hear it and you can be sure that some "druncle" [you know what of i speak] is going to be getting it to make sound for about an hour straight once he's onto his third sherry and, well, that's actually how meatloaf ended up being invented.

the benefactors invited their whole extended family, which was quite large. i mean, not mormon standards large, but it was big considering that, in theory, they were episcopalians, even though none of them had actually seen the inside of a church as anything but a tourist in about twenty years and cousin arnie had become one of those sort of irritating university-professor atheists who felt it necessary to bring up the subject of religion in every conversation just so he could tell you how deluded you were and, of course, there was janella, who, at 17 [and probably just rebelling against the fact that she'd been given that name] had run off and joined the digambaras and didn't see the family much anymore. anyway, it was a pretty big family.

one of the cousins, we'll call him george, was nervous about going. on the one hand, he knew that if he didn't, he would hear about it every day until the following christmas. on the other hand, he was 36 and almost perpetually single and he was getting really sick of all his relatives asking him when he was going to come out, because he wasn't gay, but in fact had been in love with his rubenesque adopted second cousin twice-removed matilda since the age of eight and had never gotten up the guts to ask her if she wanted to go on a date, particularly since he only ever saw her at family functions.

so george asked one of his coworkers to set him up on a blind date with a woman who would be a perfect date for a christmas party. his coworker had someone in mind, someone named rose red, which seemed to george like kind of an awful thing to name your kid and he wondered why she hadn't gotten married just so that she could change her name, but he figured that she'd probably be fine to take to a party, since red is such a festive kind of colour after all.

however, when he arrived to pick his date up, george got something he didn't expect.

hello, i'm unshrinking violet. you were expecting my sister, rose red?

a name like "unshrinking violet" was just plain bizarre as far as george was concerned, although it did kind of match the rather striking purpled-magenta colour of her lips, and he he asked if she was related to that 60s model or artist or something with the same last name, which made unshrinking violet look a little dismayed, but she didn't say anything and george couldn't figure out if he'd said something very stupid or very clever.

where does my sister find these people?

anyway, it turned out that rose red had a lot of parties to go to and since she particularly loved the holiday time of year, she tried to go to as many as possible and while she'd intended to honour her date with george, she'd decided last minute to accept an invitation to go caroling in a giant covered sleigh with a bunch of ex-patriot bulgarians. and so she'd asked her sister violet to sub for her with george. as it turned out, violet was a little more of an after-hours club with a secret password and strong cocktails girl than she was a christmas party girl, but she didn't need to be anywhere until a little after 2 a.m., so she figured she might as well give it a try.

they arrived at the party and george introduced violet to his family and, although she might not have looked exactly like a christmas party date at first, his family seemed to like her pretty well. his great uncle milford kept trying to talk to them, but he'd left home without his teeth, so they weren't really able to make out a word he was saying and then cousin ralph and his wife angelika came over because they couldn't wait to tell george about their new minivan. it was really shocking the amount they had to tell about their minivan. it was like they built the minivan themselves and they could tell a story about every single component, every welding point, every ingredient of the polymers used to construct it. there was just so much to say, apparently, about the minivan. george couldn't help but notice that violet seemed a little underwhelmed. or overwhelmed. maybe a bit of both.

there are engineers at chrysler who don't know this sh*t

grandma bettie was so happy and surprised to see george was there with a date that she ran over screaming "oh georgie! i was always the one who said you weren't gay!" which was bad enough, except that then she and grandpa will and aunt sarah insisted on settling all the gay-rumour bets they'd made over the years and george felt obliged to explain that this was their first date, at which point violet looked a little annoyed matilda came to say hello and overheard and he tried to explain that he wasn't actually trying to date violet, which meant that everyone started trying to hand the money back and figure out which bets were reversed and he had to start insisting that he wasn't gay, which was when his openly gay step-brother charles arrived and gave him the stick-eye to end all stink-eyes. and george felt bad because violet looked very dispirited and he realised that, even by his standards, he was being a very poor non-date.

i would not have guessed this guy would be the "cool" one at the party

by the time they all sat down for dinner, things were getting worse. they got seated next to ernie, who'd always been at these family gatherings, although he wasn't actually a relative and no one could remember who knew him first, or how he'd come to attend their family affairs or how he kept getting invited back. ernie liked to talk a lot about his travels and when he first mentioned that he'd been abroad, violet looked kind of interested, but when he started explaining that his trip had actually involved camping in wal-mart parking lots in nebraska and wyoming, she looked more despondent than ever.

there had better be a lot of rum in the eggnog to get me through this

once dinner was done, everyone kind of seemed at a loss for something to do, although george suspected, given the speed at which they'd been eating and talking, that most of them just needed to come up for air, but after a few minutes, it became obvious that everyone was more or less at a loss for what to say to each other. after all, they'd already shared everything that they could about themselves and they didn't really know what to ask of the others who, after all, they generally only saw once a year.

and while everyone looked from one to another, waiting for anyone to take the lead and start a new conversation, george noticed that that something had caught violet's attention. she was looking at the china hutch, which actually wasn't where the family patriarch and matriarch stored their china at all, but where they stored their prize tequila collection, assembled over more than twenty trips to mexico, one each january for the last thirty-five years, all the finest the country had to offer, although none had ever been opened.

monya, which wasn't the matriarch's real name, but it was what everyone in the family called her because it was usually easier than trying to figure out how they were actually related to her [well, except for her actual children, who called her mom, but no one ever seemed quite sure which ones those were, unless they actually caught them in the act of calling her mom, and several family members had suggested that a couple of the children had taken to calling her "monya" just to fit in]... anyway, monya noticed violet admiring the collection and started to gush about her own love for tequila and how she basically spent every january in a haze enjoying the sun and the ocean in mexico and how the flavour would always remind her of those happy times, to which violet replied:

"so let's all do a few tequila shots."

c'mon, let's make this a real party

george was about to start explaining how the bottles were for show and how they'd never been opened and how they were for display, not for drinking when he heard monya chuckle and answer:

"hell yeah."

and then other family members began rapidly assenting that this was a great idea and a few of the magic bottles were opened and passed around and even evan, the fifteen year old with the thick glasses and acne scars, managed to sneak a shot when no one was looking and everyone had a few and started to laugh and chat and ask each other questions they'd never asked before, although, strangely, no one asked george if he was gay, because the fact is that it wasn't really a big deal to anyoneand they only kept talking about it because they didn't understand why he would feel uncomfortable coming out, considering he wasn't the only gay member of the family, but the fact was that they were more interested in other things.

so everyone was friendly and chatty and happy and monya had the good sense to lock up the caibnet before all her tequila disappeared, because she realised that she should space this out over future family events and she was remarkably good at math, which no one had really noticed before that night, and so she was able to calculate how much she would need to keep on hand in order to ensure that the annual supply meant that there would always be in keeping with the demand over the course of the coming years, so that they'd always be able to rely on a little tipple of tequila to perk things up.

and so ernie, who no one bothered to ask how he'd connected with them because after all this time, he'd become a part of the family gatherings, started playing the family calliope, which had been handed down for generations and as it happened, he was quite good. and aunt ernestine talked about her adventures living in paris between the wars hanging out with exra pound and t.s. eliot. and eventually george and matilda ended up under the mistletoe and matilda planted one on him and told him she'd had a huge crush on him since childhood and from then on they were a couple and no one cared that they sort of seemed related. and afterwards everyone agreed that it was the best christmas party in memory, even though a couple of them went back for more shots a few too many times and couldn't remember it.

so the moral of the story is, even the best-planned christmas parties can be a little emotionally draining, because none of us are really sure how we're supposed to act in front of all our family at once and sometimes, you need a little something different to really make everyone feel at ease. so even though everyone [your humble narrator included] might say that red is the way to go for a holiday party, you could just as easily substitute a bit of a wild violet just to be a bit different. because who knows what could happen from there?

products used

face ::
mac prolongwear foundation "nc15"
lush colour supplement "jackie oates"

eyes ::
mac mineralize e/s duo "family silver"* [frosty silver-white, frosty warm grey]
mac e/s "hocus pocus"* [dirty grey]
mac e/s "nighttrain"* [charcoal grey with dilver glitter]
mac eye kohl "smolder" [black]
benefit they're real mascara

cheeks ::
mac mineralize skinfinish "perfect topping"* [ivory-mauve highlight]
mac blush ombre "vintage grape"* [deep reddish purple]

lips ::
mac l/s "violetta" [bright magenta-purple]

*suggested alternates :: family silver = inglot 447 + chantecaille "sel"; hocus pocus = inglot 444; nighttrain = bobbi brown black sparkle; perfect topping = guerlain meteorites teint beige [a bit warmer]; vintage grape = why substitute? you can pick it up from mac december 26th as part of the daphne guinness collection, where it's making a triumphant reutrn!

happiest holidays ever.

the montreal metro project, part 6

2011-12-13T20:27:00.000-05:00

here's a few more images for you from around the montreal metro system. today, we're looking at stations in the east of montreal, or at least the narrow strip of the east that is served by the metro. yes, that last bit is supposed to sound like a snipe at city planners who inexplicably left the city's working class east end out of their public transit plans for far too long. in fact, the vast expanse of the island east of st. denis is exactly the sort of area that requires great public transit, being stuffed [in many cases to overflowing] with apartment dwellers and lower-income workers who are least able to afford a car, especially with the current price of gas.

the city has taken a lot of measures to improve bus service, to be fair and has done so while keeping fees quite reasonable [a monthly pass costs about 60% of what it does in toronto, where the public transit system is almost laughable]. but metro services remains [and, sadly, is likely forever to remain] a pipe dream.

as a result, a lot of the stations in the east end are under-utilised, because only a limited number of people live within easy access. and so these stations often have a haunted air and even at rush hour never have the chaotic throngs of their neighbours to the west. i'll admit that i'd never been to a lot of these stations before going on my mission to photograph them and i was flabbergasted to discover that the city was, in fact, hiding some of its architectural treasures out in the middle of nowhere.

but let's begin our journey closer to the centre.

this is beaudry station. years of refurbishment have left the inside of the kiosk looking like a very long moving sidewalk to hell [and smelling like one too], but the work done did yield a spiffy new exterior that proudly announces the beaudry's location just to the east of downtown, in the centre of montreal's gay village. the stretch of ste-catherine that runs through the village is closed to cars in the summer, making stopping in by metro that much more attractive.

one stop east of beaudry, at the east end of the village and, many montrealers would claim, civilisation, is the papineau metro. this station also has a brand-spanking new exterior kiosk, which i hope has done something to improve the massive wind tunnels that used to make it difficult for two people to open doors at the same time. at the time i was taking my photos, the kiosk was still under construction, so i stuck to taking interior shots. there is actually quite a lot of art happening in the perpetual gloom, although the wacky temperatures inside [icy cold and windy in the winter, like a garbage incinerator in the summer] probably keep many from noticing.

shiny happy people holding hands...

actually, shiny happy people preparing to kill other shiny, happy people

moving a little further east, we have frontenac. it's bad enough that this station is located in one of the city's most depressed [and depressing] quarters, rife with the worst of urban poverty for decades, but it really does seem to be rubbing it in by giving the neighbourhood this, one of the bleakest stations on the network. sure, frontenac got the exterior facelift treatment as well, but seriously look at what these poor people have facing them when they head underground.

the beige... it hypnotises...

endless beige...

agh! what the hell is that???

after frontenac comes prefontaine and joliette, but since we've already met them in part 1, we'll continue on... i'm afraid that not all of the stations had photos of a quality that i'm willing to share, but there's certainly more to see...

for instance, this is station pie ix. that's "pie" as in latin, as in it's the name of a pope [with the number nine after it], not as in dessert [although that would be kind of awesome]. the station is located under the city's largest sports stadium, which is notable chiefly for the fact that none of the city's sports teams play here with any regularity. the stadium has a name in honour of the event for which it was constructed.

does anyone else feel a little woozy?

can you guess which event it was?

this is cadillac station. it's not one of the most exciting places on the line. like pie ix, it is a solid example of just how much the quebecois love their concrete. this is sort of an odd cultural thing for those who come from elsewhere. i mean, look at it. these people really love their concrete. but really, the true labours of concrete love are yet to come...

like here. this is langelier. just look at the use of concrete. look at the textures. look at the incredible shadows and angles and how it appears to have been carved from a single block... in fact, langelier also has a colourful arrangement of panels brushed aluminum with brightly coloured backgrounds that are actually doors, possibly to the underworld, that are quite cool to look at, but are quite difficult to photograph because even though the station isn't very busy there's always someone walking through your shot until you just want to set them on fire... ahem. behold. langelier. it's worth a visit, although the drab surrounding industrial expanse doesn't have much to offer.

radisson metro is likewise consecrated to concrete. it is like being in vast church to béton, the god of concrete, with its cavernous vaulted ceiling, its suspended lights and echo-y acoustics. by the way, in case you're wondering about the relationship between quebec and concrete, it might be of interest to you to know that the mafia has much rumoured [and much proven] involvement in the quebec construction industry. so it's possible that concrete isn't the only material that was used in these structures.

and here we are... honore beaugrand. end of the line.

still a few more shots to come!