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in the beginning

among other projects that i'm struggling to get to various levels off the ground right now, i've had this idea that sits in my head, that i can't ever seem to do anything with. i want to do something with it, because i feel like it would power me out of other areas where i've become creatively stuck. but instead it just feels like a ball of uranium in my creative pocket, weighing me down as i'm trying to swim through the waters of my own brain.

the concept that i'm trying to work out has to do with a thing, not really a character or a setting, although it has elements of both, that appears in several things i've written/ am writing. my idea is that i'd like to give it a sort of origin story, something that mixes facts with [modern] myths- the tale it tells about itself. but i'll be damned if i can think of a good point from which to start.

perhaps it's my personal view of history that gets in the way; everything is the result of what has preceded it, therefore the idea of an origin point is fatuous. the only true origin stories are myths, where you have the luxury of choosing, but even then, they're not quite perfect. what was god doing for all that time before he decided to create the earth and all that good stuff? the primordial deities of ancient greece might have been born out of chaos, but how did chaos get there? even science follows the rule of "nothing from nothing", meaning that there literally cannot be an origin point of anything at all, because there had to be a something to cause the something else. billions of years ago something sparked in the tiniest imaginable corner of the universe, and from that, i have blue eyes.

yes, i realise that i'm overthinking this.

the fact is that we set origin points because we need to, because we can talk our way back to the primordial ooze every time we want to explain a historical event. and certainly, we can talk about turning points, when the weight of some historical events pushes things in one direction rather than another at a particular point in time. so maybe that's what i'm searching for: the particular confluence of circumstances that would have caused my imaginary bugbear to invent itself at a certain point.

if you've read things i've written, you've probably figured out that this is not a fantasy story, where i have unbound options. i favour things that take place in a real, or real-seeming world. maybe like something that lives on the other side of the mirror. it looks exactly the same, but there's no rule that says that's the case when you can't observe it. [yes there is. -ed.]

so here's my dilemna:

i need a realistic story [probably with some actual historical detail thrown in, because i'm sort of hung up on strange but true details];
it has to explain how something expansive enough to hang in the background of several stories i've written or started
i have to be able to connect it to other things that i've already said about it
it needs to be imaginative and memorable and maybe a bit scary, like a proper old-fashioned fairy tale.

so that should be no problem, right? creative people are always able to come up with highly specific ideas on command. that's how the creative process works.

i'm going to go hide in a hole now.

p.s. :: i have bronchitis! that's not related in any way to my creative problem. i just wanted some extra  pity.


as long as you're here, why not read more?

making faces :: soft touch

ah winter, how my lips hate you. it's too bad, really, because the rest of me likes winter, down to about -12 or so. but there's no arguing that i get dried out. nuxe rĂªve de miel is my super best friend at this time of year, even more so than otherwise. [i gave bite's agave lip mask a try only to find out i'm allergic to something in it.] but our [still] new apartment is somewhat drier than the old one [electric vs hot water heating], which meant that, for a long stretch, virtually every kind of lipstick was uncomfortable. the horror. [i wrote a post a while back about the formulas that are friendliest to chapped lips.]

faced with this dilemma, i decided to try something not exactly new, but [for me], out of the ordinary: being a gloss girl. now, i don't mind glosses. i buy them from time to time, and i used to buy more until i discovered that i just wasn't using them near enough to justify the continued purchases. my issues with glosses are that they feather…


i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:

am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: a lip for all seasons [summer edition]

this may seem like an odd time to think about summer, but not to think about coolness. it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea that summer is considered "cool" in colour analysis terms and, in my opinion, reads as the coolest of the cool, because everything in it is touched with the same chilly grey. winter may have the coldest colours, but its palette is so vivid that it distracts the eye. everything in summer is fresh and misty, like the morning sky before the sun breaks through. in my original post on the season, i compared it to monet's paintings of waterlilies at his garden in giverny and, if i do say so, i think that's an apt characterisation.

finding lip colours touched with summer grey and blue is, as you might expect, kind of tricky. the cosmetic world seems obsessed with bringing warmth, which doesn't recognise that some complexions don't support it well. [also, different complexions support different kinds of warmth, but that's another…