Skip to main content

let me tell you about my backside

as i mentioned in my previous post, where i linked back to an older, unrelated post, i recently purchased a new chair. i received said chair this morning and giddily went about assembling it [with dom's help]. it's not an ├╝ber-deluxe, space-aged thing, but it's a distinct improvement on what was here before. [although technically, wouldn't anything built in about the last half century qualify as space aged? we've been up there for a while.]

i'd put the question to the internet of what should be done to the old chair and quickly found out that

  1. my friends are pyromaniacs
  2. a lot of my friends want to get me arrested

the truth is far more banal: i carried it out and threw it on the curb, where it will be carted away by experts tomorrow. although, since it's so clearly an evil, person-hating chair, it will probably rise from the dump and victimise a new home office. i don't care. that's their problem and i have a new throne from which to pontificate.

my first thought was that this will help me write, because it will no longer be as uncomfortable for me to sit at my desk for hours at a stretch. my second thought, of course, was that i'd just taken away one of my main excuses for not being able to write more. which is probably why i've been sitting here for an hour or so thinking that i could write, but focusing more on why i feel different in this new chair. i have back support. the seat cushion does seem to have been designed with human buttocks in mind. i don't have to clench my abdominal muscles to avoid falling over. [that last one is probably bad news, since clenching my abdominal muscles on my uncomfortable chair was really the closest i've come to working out in a long time.

i am still going to have to find a little footstool to keep my legs at the proper angle, because no one thinks about #shortgirlproblems when they're designing desks. i'm also haunted by the idea that my armrests are ever so slightly different heights, which leads into the much scarier idea that my arms are slightly different, which makes me want to immediately run away and try on every one of my long-sleeved tops to see if there's a problem, which would be useless because the nature of fabric would likely disguise it anyway.

nothing is ever perfect. if it were, i'd probably be too busy trying to find problems with it to notice.

of course, all this thinking about the chair that's supposed to make it easier for me to write, during the one hour in which i've been able to sit at the desk and relax in such a way that might actually be conducive to writing means that i haven't actually gotten any writing done. at all. except this, which really shouldn't count, because it's just me ranting stream-of-consciousness style at you, the reader who deserves more and is wondering why you're still reading this.

i'm sorry. i have nothing for you. i'm not even talking about my butt, which i basically promised i would in the title. it's fine, though. it's a little early to say that everything is feeling better, but i can assure that i feel my posterior is much better balanced. so perhaps proper butt-balance is what's been holding my career back from stratospheric heights all these years. i'll get back to you on that, i promise.

for those of you who are participating in national novel writing month, or who plan on writing about something that isn't your backside this november, i found this article, which is pretty much the best non-advice advice i've come across, even if it doesn't mention butt-balance.

Comments

as long as you're here, why not read more?

losers?

just a short time ago, i waxed prosaic about trump supporters who felt betrayed by their candidate pursuing in office the exact things that he said he would. short version: i have no sympathy.

today is a bit different. in the wake of america's bombing of a syrian air strip, in response to a chemical weapons attack by the syrian government, my facebook and twitter feeds were peppered with plaintive shades of "we believed you". these are the people who heard trump say that he wanted the united states to step back and focus on defending its own. indeed, trump did say such things, over and over; america cannot be the policeman of the world. even arch-liberal cynics like me had to admit that this was a refreshing argument to hear from someone outside the paul family, and, could easily have been turned into trump's greatest argument against hillary clinton. [he chose to go another way, which also worked.]

trump also said, repeatedly, that america needed to invest heavily …

long division

after the united states election last year, there were the usual calls for the country to unite behind the new president. that never happens anymore, because, since george w. bush scored a victory in 2004, having launched the country into a war in iraq for no reason, the people on the losing side of a presidential election have been pretty bloody angry about it. democrats hated bush 43. republicans really hated obama. democrats really hate trump.

it didn't help that trump didn't make the typical conciliatory gestures like including a couple of members of the opposite party in his cabinet, or encouraging his party to proceed slowly with contentious legislation. barack obama arguably wasted at least two and as many as six years of his tenure as president trying to play peacemaker before he felt sufficiently safe to just say "screw you guys" and start governing around the ridiculous congress he was forced to deal with. not-giving-a-shit obama was the best president in …

don't speak

you might think that it sounds dramatic, but linguistic genocide is something that happens. people in power will go to great lengths to eradicate certain languages, not just for the sheer joy of making the world a lesser place, but as a way of beating down the culture that's associated with it. language has a unique reciprocal bond with culture, and every group that has attempted to break down another has recognised that forbidding a cultural group from communicating in their own language is an extremely effective way to tear apart their culture.

there are lots [and lots and lots and lots] of examples of this sort of thing, some successful, some not, but far too many to cover in one blog post. however, i thought it was worth looking at some languages that have been the subjects of active repression, and what the political consequences of that have been.

devastation :: the native north american languages :: it should come as no surprise that the largest genocide in history [by a ma…