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that time i outed myself as a serial killer

if you're on facebook, chances are you've encountered at least one person who's used a related app called "what would i say". i know a lot of people don't like to use apps because they collect your information and sell it to identity thieves and deposed dictators trying to smuggle money out of the country, but this one is good enough that i consider it worth the risk. also, anyone who takes on my identity is probably in for some unpleasant surprises.

the app takes your status updates and posts and scrambles them to create new things that are supposed to sound like things you might have said. often the results are nonsensical, but sometimes they are brilliant [including the nonsensical ones] in a dada way. and in my experience, they sometimes get a little too honest.

for instance, katebot is somewhat prone to over-sharing:






bad katebot. no one needs to know those things. also, it's not true. i have never worn pants.

then there are the times katebot admits to doing things that could get real kate in trouble:







those all seem like good reasons to avoid being anywhere in my vicinity.  so does this:





thanks for spoiling the surprise, katebot.

of course, she does give excellent advice:



that time she accidentally shared my to do list:



and then decided to try vague-booking in the worst possible way:



[actually, i'm not sure that isn't something i really did say. it sounds like me. but they all sound like me, which is the point. that just sounds a lot like me.]

of course, that does make one think about the "serial killer" admission from earlier. not that i'm saying i'm a serial killer. or that katebot is saying i'm a serial killer. it just makes me wonder why stuff like this would turn up from an application that tries to pick out the most common terms you use on facebook.

 

 it's like she just realised i was in the room and figured she should stop talking.



that first bit is part of a quote from hemingway. and i guess i've just chosen to specify that hemingway didn't eat people. for all those of you who've heard ernest hemingway cannibalism rumours. i know those are big on the internet now.



that can't be good for them...



with good reason if they live anywhere around me. 

so what dark secrets is katebot really trying to share about me?



probably for the best.

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