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sleepworking

and now the hard part
the non-news is that i had insomnia last night. that was probably because i'd had a short nap earlier in the day, which was a bad idea, but i was so tired i quite literally couldn't see straight [who knew that actually happened??] because i'd had insomnia the night before, because i'd dozed off for a little while in the evening after supper, because i was exhausted from not having slept the previous night.

when i did manage to doze off, i slept deeply and merrily, and i had a dream that, despite the usual load of dream-world non sequitur-ization and webby logic, presented me with an amazing story. all the writers' block i've been suffering apparently took the night off and every backed up idea in my cerebral drain came bursting through. it was exciting.

when i woke up [late] i immediately gestured to dom [who was just trying to tell me that there was coffee made] not to say a word, because dreams are fragile when you try to carry them and any errant arrangement of real world words can destroy their delicate connective tissues. i didn't want to be rude, but i couldn't risk speaking or hearing other than to say "i dreamt something. need to hold on." and i think that might be putting it more articulately than i did this morning. [but, as we've already seen, i need all the help i can get holding onto dream ideas, because i'm not helping myself at all.]

i don't know if i'm the only person who gets writing prompts while unconscious as often or more often than when fully conscious. i'm sort of grateful for that because it means that sleeping is doing creative work. i'm not being lazy, i'm incubating ideas for future fiction. [unless i'm having dreams about sharpening pencils. that's just my subconscious not taking its job seriously.]

there's just one wee problem with last night's sound asleep work shift: it was part one.

even in the dream, i became aware that what i was getting was the first instalment of a story, complete with cliffhanger-style ending. i'm not above ending stories that way on my own, but this wasn't one of those things. this was a story- several stories, really- that had just started to develop and promised a lot more intrigue in the subsequent parts. except i didn't dream those subsequent parts. i dreamt the first part and woke up.

earlier, i posted on facebook that i need someone to knock me out in such a way that i could continue with the dream, because my waking brain doesn't have much of an idea how to keep the story moving forward, at least not as well as it was moving forward without me thinking about it. i managed to take decent notes about what i knew and managed to smooth out some of the bits that didn't make a lot of sense without too much trouble. it's an awesome beginning, but i feel like if i add anything to it, it won't nearly be up to the quality of what i have. or rather, what i don't have, because it isn't actually anything yet because i haven't written any of it and i'm not really sure how to start, because that would imply that i knew where it was going, which i don't, at least not once the action gets going.

it's like my brain designed an awesome roller coaster, but the track ends at the exact point when the train picks up speed. and that's really fun for no one.

so now, i'm sort of bargaining with my brain that since i've made notes and started to come up with a structure for a story that i can start working on, maybe it could be cooperative for once and let me have the rest of the information? i have the distinct feeling that that's not going to happen, which means that i have to depend on my more logical conscious brain to do the rest of the work and i already feel like conscious kate's brain is overdue for a tune-up.

so, i have a story to tell you. and it's kind of awesome, in an unsatisfying sort of way.

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