Skip to main content

forget your daughters, lock up your cats

it helps to have an innocent-looking accomplice
our fur-children were curious this morning when they spotted a new friend in the next building over. she's a big, beautiful girl, a dilute tortoiseshell with a lovely round face and persian-type cobby body [although she's short-haired, not persian]. she was obviously just as curious about our motley feline crew as well, sitting there for ages and watching them [mostly simon and lulu, who are always the social ones] and only leaving several minutes after they'd moved on. dom and i weren't nearly so interesting to her. and i'm almost certain that she was particularly checking out simon's butt. i know i would.

but what really concerns me here is my own reaction when i saw her. because the first thought that entered my head and stayed there for several minutes, being pondered when i saw how interested she was in my babies and they were in her was: "i wonder if i should go and take her."

i want to emphasise that this was a clean, well-fed [but not overfed] cat. she looked extremely healthy. she seemed calm and happy in her window. but most importantly, she was inside, in a third or fourth story apartment, meaning that she doesn't have to deal with the terrors of the urban outdoors. i wasn't thinking of rescuing a cat from abandonment or mistreatment. i was just thinking of plucking her out of the arms of people who probably love her for no other reason than she seemed to like looking at my fur-children.

it's bad enough that i was picturing myself shimmying up the rickety fire escape of the building next door, tearing my way through the window screen and then descending that same fire escape with a large cat in one arm undetected [like she'd just sit there as i banged and thumped my way up the iron staircase and bashed in the screen in front of her, since that would be such typical cat-like behaviour]. but consider my line of logic here: "she looked at me, so that means i should just go take her". that's the justification that rapists use. so if you scratch my feminist surface with feline claws, i am the enemy.

of course, it did eventually dawn on me that cat-napping the neighbour's baby was neither a nice nor an intelligent thing to do, but it kind of scares me that it took quite a while for what i'd term "rationality" to kick in. and i'm not sure that it wasn't because i started to think about the unpleasantness of ascending a fire escape in the 35c heat. like the main thing between me being the way i am now and me being a malevolent and chaotic force for destruction in the universe is my own laziness.

at least now i feel like i have a good defense for my laziness.

so the good news is, i didn't stalk and kidnap someone's beloved pet today. but just to be safe, if you're anywhere near where i am or where you think i might at some point be, you should keep your cats at a safe distance and behind at least one locked door. because, if it's not too much of an effort, i'm clearly a menace. 

Comments

Bellyhead said…
I hardly ever had thoughts about stealing other people's people children, but often have such thoughts about their fur babies. Is this wrong?

as long as you're here, why not read more?

long division

after the united states election last year, there were the usual calls for the country to unite behind the new president. that never happens anymore, because, since george w. bush scored a victory in 2004, having launched the country into a war in iraq for no reason, the people on the losing side of a presidential election have been pretty bloody angry about it. democrats hated bush 43. republicans really hated obama. democrats really hate trump.

it didn't help that trump didn't make the typical conciliatory gestures like including a couple of members of the opposite party in his cabinet, or encouraging his party to proceed slowly with contentious legislation. barack obama arguably wasted at least two and as many as six years of his tenure as president trying to play peacemaker before he felt sufficiently safe to just say "screw you guys" and start governing around the ridiculous congress he was forced to deal with. not-giving-a-shit obama was the best president in …

making faces :: i could maybe not buy this one thing

i've been into makeup on some level for a long time- much longer than i've been writing about it, for certain. even as a young woman, i loved the feeling of i got from applying a deep-hued lipstick and some mascara. it took years for me to figure out eyeshadow, and even longer for me to appreciate blush. but at this point, i think we can agree that i'm pretty much into the whole gamut. [except liquid and super-matte lipsticks, and most very sparkly eyeshadows. but that's because they're painful for me to wear.]

the thing about spending a long time collecting and holding onto just about everything is that you accumulate quite a stash. lately, i'm trying to force myself to think about what i already have before laying down money for something new. most recently, i found myself drawn to the modern renaissance palette from anastasia. me and a lot of people. by the time i started thinking about it, it was already sold out in my local sephora and online. i signed up…

...and my cup size is none of your damn business

this story, about a man who got a female coworker to trade email accounts with him for two weeks to see if he could see a difference in customer reactions, has been making the rounds on social media and beyond in the last week or so. earlier today, i posted it on my personal facebook page about it, and realised that i had a lot more that i wanted to share than made sense for a facebook post. so i've come here to rant.

a couple of things to start:

1. i've had some really good job experiences in my life. i'm both lucky and unlucky that the best of them came early on, but even in more recent years, i worked at a couple of places that treated workers, all workers, with respect. that respect can be expressed in different ways, but believe me, you know it when it's there. so i want to make it clear that #notallworkplaces fit the pattern i'm about to describe.

2. i am really, really, really grateful to martin r. schneider, who thought up and did this experiment, not just …