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you asked, i answered [with some trepidation]

most of the time, i know how people end up here. it's easy to make the link between a referring search term and a post here.

other times, i'm confused, but i'm more than happy to see that someone stumbled into my head space and thought to poke around a little bit.

still other times, i look at what people are searching for and want to hide under the bed for a while. then i remember that my bed doesn't have a raised platform underneath it and i'd have to reduce myself to liquid in order to hide under it. then i go google how to do that and wonder if the search will lead me back here.

nonetheless, i do see it as some opportunity to offer the people what they want, so i thought i would take a stab at answering some of the indirect questions and to pose a few myself.

let's start with some easy ones that turn up all the time.

angelina marcantognini :: i don't know what happened to her. i've actually tried to find her just to let her know that there are so very many people looking for her. there are people who come here every day looking for her. i don't know anything more than they do. if you don't know who she is, you can see my post about her here. you could also visit/ like the canada's worst driver facebook page. sorry, that's really all i can do...

i agree smedley :: yes! more people should search for this! because if enough people search for the ad that i wrote about here, then no one will have to go to youtube and find a whole bunch of videos on assisted suicide when they search for it.






donair cité :: read the review here, but note that they've since moved to 2070 st-denis, across the street from the original location. oh, and as of december 23rd, you'll be able to order alcohol with that. two great tastes that taste great together.

and of course, i get a lot of people who end up here on the endless quest for soccer-related man candy. i salute you and your remarkably specific search terms.

"sergio aguëro dimples" :: as long as we're talking about the ones on his face, you could check out this post. [if there are other dimples i should be finding for you, please let me know.] but i'll make it easy for you.



more good news! since he's currently leading the premier league in goals, he should have lots of reasons to keep smiling.

"alexis sanchez eye colour" :: light brown. after long and careful research on this subject, i'm going with light brown. i was thinking maybe hazel, but on close analysis, they don't have that green tinge that distinguishes hazel. just lovely, soft brown eyes that catch the light...






you can see more of him here

please let me know if you need me to look into this further. i aim to please. [also, belated happy birthday to alexis, who turned twenty-six yesterday. damn, i'm a lot older than twenty-six.]

from there,  we move on to slightly stranger territory...

"math cry" :: it does that to all of us sometimes. keep at it.

"man and woman polke 1978" :: at first, i thought maybe this was in relation to artist sigmar polke, about whom i've never written anything before this blog post. he's done some interesting things and the museum of modern art in new york had a retrospective of his work, but i couldn't find anything related to him and the other terms in the search. google helpfully suggested that i might be looking for the angie dickinson television show "police woman". i don't know much about that show. in fact, when i hear about it, this is the only thing that comes to mind:



i realise that this doesn't help you, but if it makes you feel any better, here's a video of a group called the polish kid polka band [made up of middle aged men, unless polish kids are just born that way] performing at the frankenmuth music festival



or i could just post more photos of alexis and sergio with their shirts off. that always cheers me up.

"guerlain poop" :: no. there is nothing you can do to make your waste product smell like shalimar. and you shouldn't try. but if you do try and it makes you constipated, don't attempt to solve the problem by pushing an eel up your rectum.

"jenny pelletier bernard me is wearing pink cult blush up her nose" :: she's doing it wrong.

"rogge heroin to bastak" :: i would like to state for the public record that i have no idea what this is about. none.

"pictures of kate macdonald sitting on facebook or instagram" :: i was thinking this was a really weird request, but then it occurred to me that there might be a typo and i decided i didn't want to look into it any further in case i was right.

please feel free to keep the off the wall requests coming.

Comments

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…