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like a unicorn pooping rainbows of pure happy

for once, i am starting the week on a positive note.


also known as:

omgifinishedwritingsomethingforthefirsttimeinmonthsandi'msogoddamnedhappyicanbarelystaystill!!!

yeah, i wrote something. *struts mentally*

i mean, obviously, having a blog, i write things all the time. i even [sometimes unwisely] publish them. but recently, i'd been fretting because i'd been unable to just start a fictional piece and work through it until i felt it was complete. [meaning a piece of fiction writing. the things that i started weren't fictional, although since they weren't ever getting finished, they might as well have been.]

what's worse, i found that the few things i had managed to complete showed a rather frightening trend.


i was trying to deal with the concept that i might actually be destined for a life of writing fortune cookies, but instead, i decided to just sit down and try to get myself in the correct frame of mind.


doing this involved basically ignoring everything that was going on around me, strapping on a pair of headphones, putting on something that most people would find objectionable and opening a document into which i could vent my frustration and fears.

lo and behold, within a few minutes, i came up with an idea that i wanted to try. at first, it was just another passing thought that i believed might yield one more piece of micro-fiction and push me further along my path to fortune cookie super-stardom. but as it turned out, it blossomed into something that appears to be a draft of an actual, honest-to-god short story, almost four thousand words in length, which might not seem like a lot to some people, but short stories are my thing because novels are really hard and so i'm plenty happy with having written a thing that doesn't fit on a postcard.

truth be told, i hadn't realised just how afraid of losing my ability to write [fiction] i was until after i'd finished this piece. reflecting on it, it occurred to me that i'd had no idea how to reignite my relationship with the muse and this had been causing me a lot of background stress that i hadn't acknowledged. the immediate result, though, was that i wanted to stand up and punch the air, because doing something that you think you've lost the ability to do makes you feel like a god in your own home.


now that i've broken through the wall, i know that i can finish something with a plot and structure and all that. so i've moved onto worrying about my ability to write anything that can't be completed in a single sitting. because something must always be worried about.

but don't follow my example all the way. take pride in something you've done this week. take huge, emphatic, out-of-proportion pride. and know that you too can vanquish your demons, no matter how much they seem to have insinuated themselves into your life.

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