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creative escapes

last night, i pulled out my current notebook [i always use one at a time for everything] and immediately became puzzled. i had three pages of notes prepared for a project i'm working on. i remembered creating each of the three pages in some detail. but when i opened my notes, there were only two. 

my brain is such that i immediately assumed i'd imagined doing the third [actually the first] page, but it seemed like  an awfully vivid memory. realizing that this meant that i had either created the page or was having the most mundane hallucinations ever recorded, i made a point of looking through every page of the notebook. three times. I checked the coil spine [i'm not fancy when it comes to my notebooks]. i couldn't even find a shred of paper to indicate that the missing page had ever existed. 

finally, i checked the place where my notebook had been and several feet away, cowering behind some facial wipes and edging towards the space under my night table, was the missing page. i don't know how it managed to wrestle free [some telltale marks indicate that it might have had some assistance from a feline]. and i certainly don't know how it managed to remove all traces of itself from its former home. but i'm happy to have it back all the same. 

what worries me more than anything is that my writing projects are apparently trying to run away. how bad a writer am i that the things that i create want to get far away from me before i work on them more. for that matter, when did my writing become self-aware? is this like a super- small scale version of  "the terminator"? are my bouts with writers block just some kind of preemptive action? i'm pretty certain that i've never found advice on this on any writing forums. probably because most writers create things that are happy to be associated with them. me? i apparently create literary emo kids. 


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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: pop quiz

those of you who are friends of mine on facebook [that might look a little weird to those of you seeing this post on facebook] may have seen my weekly "sunday quiz time", where i just ask random questions in the name of stimulating conversation. after doing that this week, i ended up taking a very wide variety of quizzes on mental floss, which made me a little smug about my knowledge of geography and a little rattled about my knowledge of the finer points of grammar. [i want to say, in my defense, that the one grammar quiz i found was really f**king hard. is that last sentence grammatically correct? i don't know. i have no confidence in my grammar anymore.]

i got so into answering questions about just about anything that i thought it might be fun to apply that format to mental health mondays. i've already done links to quizzes about various mental disorders and how to tell if you have them [i think it turned out i had all of them], but i wanted to do a special set of…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…