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the crying of page 45

do you love me?
there's been this thing going around facebook all week like some sort of social media herpes. everyone i've been in contact with has had it, or at least a lot of them have it goes like this: you're supposed to open the book nearest you and turn to page 45. magically, the sentence will explain your love life.

i figured i'd give it a shot, since some of the answers were interesting in an "i'd never thought of it like that" way. unfortunately, if i go by strict proximity to my body in the office, where i have my computer, things get a little weird. because almost all the books are in the living room, or possibly in the bedroom if i'd pulled them out to find a basis for me to win an argument look up something in particular.

it turns out that the shelf closest to me is actually the one where i keep my cookbooks. but rules are rules. the winning book turns out to be [appropriately enough] a taste of the maritimes by elizabeth bailey, which is a wonderful source of seasonal cuisine suggesting options for local [maritime] suppliers for key ingredients. and this is what the first sentence of the page has to say:

use this recipe as an opportunity to experiment with local wine you've never tried before- half can go into the recipe and half can go into you [and whoever is lucky enough to be your lab partner]. 

there you have it, folks. my love life is all about getting myself and my partners drunk. and that's probably what many suspected anyway.

at least i didn't end up with a story about getting nails in the head.

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

the world at war?

in my semi-smug but genuinely curious way, i posted a question on my facebook page earlier: how much of the world has to be at war before it counts as world war iii?



the first response i got raised the very legitimate point that this is the sort of question that gets answered by historians, once the haze of the present has faded. the other important factor is that people don't just declare war on each other the way that they used to. major powers entered both the of the world wars with the blessings of their own parliaments, whereas conflicts since world war ii have happened in coded language, sometimes circumventing the political process in the interests of expediency. president reagan never declared war on the nicaraguan government in the eighties, for example, but the united states was clearly in a state of armed conflict, even if most of the arms were being carried by their proxies, the contras.

whether or not we are living in a world at war is a tricky question. despite what…

mental health mondays :: pop quiz

those of you who are friends of mine on facebook [that might look a little weird to those of you seeing this post on facebook] may have seen my weekly "sunday quiz time", where i just ask random questions in the name of stimulating conversation. after doing that this week, i ended up taking a very wide variety of quizzes on mental floss, which made me a little smug about my knowledge of geography and a little rattled about my knowledge of the finer points of grammar. [i want to say, in my defense, that the one grammar quiz i found was really f**king hard. is that last sentence grammatically correct? i don't know. i have no confidence in my grammar anymore.]

i got so into answering questions about just about anything that i thought it might be fun to apply that format to mental health mondays. i've already done links to quizzes about various mental disorders and how to tell if you have them [i think it turned out i had all of them], but i wanted to do a special set of…