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a delicate balance

i'll say it: i missing my spam. since i started writing posts about things i found in my spam filter, it seems that i rarely get anything truly amusing anymore. most days, i'm just rescuing stuff that shouldn't have been snagged or skipping over boring emails that don't even have any hilariously inappropriate typos. what's a girl to do?

fortunately, i still have my spam filter at work, which doesn't see much action, but does occasionally yield a little gem like this:

Hello ha ndsome! I'm i n yovr hovse. I am fvnny a nd well-ba la nced. My photos here.

yes, that's exactly how it appears, with the exception that i put it in italics. there is a link to a site that apparently deals with mixed martial arts, which is even more perplexing. 
i guess i should find it disturbing that someone i don't know is sending me emails telling me he's in my house, but hey, he sounds friendly- no one ever tells me i'm handsome- and he says quite clearly that he's well-balanced, even stretching it out to emphasize how important it is that i understand this. so i'm sure there's nothing i need be worried about.

that said, sending people anonymous messages telling them that you're in their house is not a marketing tactic i've heard of and probably with good reason. and one could argue that following that with an assurance that you're "well-balanced" might actually cause someone to think the exact opposite. so,, you might want to rethink your advertising campaign.

of course, i suspect golfer2 might have flunked out of the mba program, since he's also been spotted trying to garner interest by telling people "i'm in your region. i am graceful." also "Nice t0 meet y0u ma te. I a m next t0 y0u. I a m g00dl00king. See my pics." i'm unclear on why a person would need pictures to evaluate whether someone next to them was good-looking or not. especially if i'd already met them. of course, if i hadn't met them, i'd be a little curious as to how they'd gotten my email address.

i guess i'm just a very suspicious person by nature.


Bellyhead said…
I'm going to look at your archive on Spam now! I get such a kick out of my spam email. My blog email doesn't get much except offers of money from Barclay bank, but my personal email gets all sorts of funny ones, mostly Christian dating, Jewish dating, and erection medicines. How do they know me so well?
Kate MacDonald said…
Just click the email spam tag at the end and behold the wonders of my junk filter (sorry if that sounds nasty).
Bellyhead said…
junk junk junk in your trunk?

as long as you're here, why not read more?


i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:

am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: where even the depressed ones are happy

this past week saw the publication of the annual world happiness report, a look at nations around the world and how people in each of them feel about their lot in life. i started following this a few years ago, and this year it occurred to me that it would be fun to look at how the happy places compared to the crazy places. i mean, what if those countries aren't really all that happy, but just have an extremely high rate of psychotic/ delusional disorders?

so, i set to work putting together a comparison. as it happens, that's a bit trickier than it sounds, because information on any kind of disability is more difficult to come by than you might think. and no type of disability is more controversial than a mental illness, which means that there are even more complications around definitions, seeking treatment, prognoses, record-keeping... it's hard to tell how reliable anything you're looking at is. [not that there aren't some good sources.]

and what sources there …

making faces :: soft touch

ah winter, how my lips hate you. it's too bad, really, because the rest of me likes winter, down to about -12 or so. but there's no arguing that i get dried out. nuxe rĂªve de miel is my super best friend at this time of year, even more so than otherwise. [i gave bite's agave lip mask a try only to find out i'm allergic to something in it.] but our [still] new apartment is somewhat drier than the old one [electric vs hot water heating], which meant that, for a long stretch, virtually every kind of lipstick was uncomfortable. the horror. [i wrote a post a while back about the formulas that are friendliest to chapped lips.]

faced with this dilemma, i decided to try something not exactly new, but [for me], out of the ordinary: being a gloss girl. now, i don't mind glosses. i buy them from time to time, and i used to buy more until i discovered that i just wasn't using them near enough to justify the continued purchases. my issues with glosses are that they feather…