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job hunting tips for the thinking impaired

i don't really have any business giving out job hunting advice. i've received such advice from others who generally told me that i made a good impression and thought that my policy of not screaming or stabbing during the interview process was a solid base for looking to improve my station. and that's where i guess i can give advice. there are certain things [like screaming and stabbing] that i know you shouldn't do. but there are apparently certain people who don't know those basics and so for them, i have a little tip to pass on:

if your hear of a position that is vacant because an employee has recently died, wait for the body to be in the ground, or at least cold, before you start angling to get their job.

i would have thought that this was sort of obvious, but this week, a traffic accident robbed my workplace of someone who had been with them for many years. i work for a small company and the bonds between workers- many of whom have been there a long time themselves- are more like those of family. the shock of losing someone- a really smart, positive, charming, effective someone, by the way- hits hard and the shock wave continues to roll. there is a real, inescapable feeling of loss and injustice, a real pain that only time will heal.

so i was more than shocked to hear that multiple people had phoned or emailed about applying for this man's job, starting within a few hours of his passing.

if you are thinking of doing something like this, here is my advice:

don't. you're being a douchebag.

this is not glengarry glen ross and you are not alec baldwin. no one is going to give you an expensive watch and car for being aggressive. the position will need to be filled and the people responsible will get around to it when they're good and ready. until they reach that state, you should consider the fact that forcing your c.v. in front of them will only result in making you look like an opportunistic moron completely lacking in even the most basic people skills, skills that are a prerequisite for most jobs.

seriously, this is probably at least as important as not stabbing people in your interview. 


as long as you're here, why not read more?


i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:

am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: where even the depressed ones are happy

this past week saw the publication of the annual world happiness report, a look at nations around the world and how people in each of them feel about their lot in life. i started following this a few years ago, and this year it occurred to me that it would be fun to look at how the happy places compared to the crazy places. i mean, what if those countries aren't really all that happy, but just have an extremely high rate of psychotic/ delusional disorders?

so, i set to work putting together a comparison. as it happens, that's a bit trickier than it sounds, because information on any kind of disability is more difficult to come by than you might think. and no type of disability is more controversial than a mental illness, which means that there are even more complications around definitions, seeking treatment, prognoses, record-keeping... it's hard to tell how reliable anything you're looking at is. [not that there aren't some good sources.]

and what sources there …

making faces :: soft touch

ah winter, how my lips hate you. it's too bad, really, because the rest of me likes winter, down to about -12 or so. but there's no arguing that i get dried out. nuxe rĂªve de miel is my super best friend at this time of year, even more so than otherwise. [i gave bite's agave lip mask a try only to find out i'm allergic to something in it.] but our [still] new apartment is somewhat drier than the old one [electric vs hot water heating], which meant that, for a long stretch, virtually every kind of lipstick was uncomfortable. the horror. [i wrote a post a while back about the formulas that are friendliest to chapped lips.]

faced with this dilemma, i decided to try something not exactly new, but [for me], out of the ordinary: being a gloss girl. now, i don't mind glosses. i buy them from time to time, and i used to buy more until i discovered that i just wasn't using them near enough to justify the continued purchases. my issues with glosses are that they feather…