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ruining your life, one blog post at a time

i've alluded to what i do for a living at various times, although out of respect for my employer's privacy and their right not to be embarrassed by being associated with me, i don't get too specific. however today, i feel the need to get a little more specific than usual.

part of my job involves reviewing materials written by scientists- mainly biochemists and naturopathic doctors- to "translate" them into marketing language or just to make sure that people who aren't scientifically inclined can follow along. i'd like to add that this is normally one of the most interesting parts of my jobs, because despite my general artiness, i've long had an interest in chemistry and particularly organic chemistry. there's something so perfect about how it works, each element constantly seeking balance... i think it might be because i'm a libra.

but today, while reviewing a presentation dealing with skin and the various remarkable things it does, i came across something that i really wish i hadn't. the skin is truly amazing in so many ways. even if you're not concerned about appearances, you should try to keep it in good shape, because you're way more dependent on its good health than you might realise. in fact, you should take a moment right now and give your skin a kiss to show it how much you appreciate how hard it's working. i say to do it now, because you might not want to once you're finished reading.

as i was perusing the presentation in front of me this morning, i came a across a notation about how skin is important in eliminating toxins in the body. we know that already, it clears out toxins by sweating. but in brackets next to this was written "= urine 10x diluted".

that's right. that healthy glow you're sporting when you go to the gym, that sexy sweat you work up with a loved one [or lusted one] in bed, that dampness that speaks of hard work... it's your body peeing all over itself. 

yes, it's diluted, but to put that in perspective, that means that wiping your brow is kind of like sticking your hand in the toilet before you flush.

so now that you can't un-know what i've just told you, i hope you have fun tonight as you attempt to plug every pore in your body with antiperspirant. [you'll probably die if you succeed, but you won't die covered in your own pee, if that makes you feel any better.]

remember that information is power; the power to be disgusted with everyone you see.

Comments

Martin Rouge said…
It don't bother me none, for two basic reasons: biologically, urine is sterile when it leaves the body; and spiritually, urine is a bodily fluid accepted for sacraments. So ironically, satanists pissing on a church altar are actually blessing it according to christian dogma.

Science!
I made peace with sweat after I began dancing Argentine Tango. It is next to impossible to dance in one crowded space, sometimes with little to no rest, so after a certain point you wrap your arm around your new partner only to discover their entire back has gotten a heavy layer of sweat. How much sweat you are in contact with depends on if you are dancing in an open embrace (anywhere from a full arm's length apart to half an arm's length) or close embrace (chests together, follower's whole arm touching the leader's back), which is much easier. Guys normally don't have much contact with mine because my lower back gets most sweaty and the guy's arm would be just beneath my shoulder blades. Yes it's gross but I prefer to have a strong connection that is easy to follow than avoid the ick.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

dj kali & mr. dna @ casa del popolo post-punk night

last night was a blast! a big thank you to dj tyg for letting us guest star on her monthly night, because we had a great time. my set was a little more reminiscent of the sets that i used to do at katacombes [i.e., less prone to strange meanderings than what you normally hear at the caustic lounge]. i actually invited someone to the night with the promise "don't worry, it'll be normal". which also gives you an idea of what to expect at the caustic lounge. behold my marketing genius.

mr. dna started off putting the "punk" into the night [which i think technically means i was responsible for the post, which doesn't sound quite so exciting]. i'd say that he definitely had the edge in the bouncy energy department.

many thanks to those who stopped in throughout the night to share in the tunes, the booze and the remarkably tasty nachos and a special thank you to the ska boss who stuck it out until the end of the night and gave our weary bones a ride home…

it continues... [part one]

so we're back at it with the democratic debates. last night saw cnn take their first crack at presenting ten candidates on one stage after msnbc led the charge last month. a lot of people were critical of the first debate because it seemed there were moments when moderators got such tunnel vision about keeping things moving that they stopped thinking about what was happening on stage. [the prime example being kamala harris having to insist that she be allowed to speak on the issue of racism, being the only person of colour on stage.] the other problem that many identified was that the time given to candidates wasn't even close to equal. i feel like cnn wasn't a lot better with the former, although they avoided any serious gaffes, and that they did an excellent job of fixing the latter. [that said, some of the outlying candidates might be wishing they hadn't had as much time as they did.] as with last time, i'll start off with a few general observations.

how importa…

imperfect ten

whatever you've heard about the democratic contenders' debate that happened thursday, i would hereby like to tell you to ignore it and, if you have the time, go and watch as much of it as you can [stand]. the biggest story coming out of the debate should really be the appalling talking points that the mainstream media have latched onto, especially the ten-second battle between julian castro and joe biden over healthcare. that literally might have been the least consequential thing that happened all night and i'm including the ad breaks.

ten candidates is still too many a lot but this is the first time that we've had the heaviest hitters all hitting each other. at the same time, they also took somewhat stronger shots at donald trump than they had before [some more than others]. the debate was a full three hours but, unlike the cnn debates where i spent the last half hour or so throwing money at my television in a desperate bid to bribe the moderators to wrap it up quic…