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march madness :: 2013 edition

it kind of looks like the eye of sauron
i've spoken to you before about my feelings on the month of march. i hate it. i hate its bitter winds. i hate its false claims to be spring. and although i like leaving work before dark when daylight savings hits, i hate having to get up in the dark like some sort of mole person.

but no matter how much i hate march, it's nothing compared to how much march hates me.

people think i'm making this up, but to them i say...

the month started with a screw up at my bank that left me accidentally without access to money.

my workload has been building to a level that could politely be described as insane. i'm always busy, but this month there seems to be a fundamental disconnect between the expectations and reality. [note :: my employers actually acknowledge that this is the case. there just isn't much to be done about it at the moment.]

while st. patrick's day is normally the one bright spot of the month, i won't get to enjoy it, since i got volunteered to work an extra day this week.

in case you've wondered where i've been this week, my computer had a sudden meltdown earlier in the week. if that sounds like something you've heard before, it's because you have. the same thing happened last march.

a payment i was supposed to receive was submitted a day late, which actually resulted in a two-week delay in me getting the money.

an order i had placed with an overseas company was judged to be hazardous material and destroyed for the good of humanity, apparently.

our phone, for no reason anyone can figure out, refuses to make long distance calls, which is kind of a pain when your family lives in another province.

the cable and internet crapped out for three days.

our television remote has been taken by space aliens, which is a pain, because they just don't make televisions with those dials anymore.

after suffering with sciatica for several months, dom has finally been able to move around again. but since the beginning of the month, he hasn't actually been able to walk, so "moving around" means sort of flailing his arms and legs thither and yon.

some really, really graphic conversations that an old friend- who is married to another longtime friend- had with someone who happens to have the same name as me got posted on facebook. not everyone realised that there were two people with the same name. hilarity ensued.

that's all the major things. of course, the month isn't halfway done yet and, if my horoscope is to be believed, the first half of the month was actually the good bit.

Comments

I feel your pain!
In the words of W.B Yeats "mere anarchy is loosed upon the world " or if yo prefer "the center will not hold" words from his poem the Second Coming seem applicable to the month of March a Pisces time of the year.

Will try to find the Bikram yoga posture that helped cure my own sciatic.

Great blogs! look forward to reading much that you have written.
Kate MacDonald said…
Thank you so much! "The Second Coming" quotes are indeed appropriate (unfortunately). And it's probably my favourite Yeats piece. (If you rummage through past blog posts, you might find one called "A Terrible Beauty", although the post itself has nothing to do with Yeats.)

March continues to mock me without mercy, I'm sad to say. Would you believe that things have now progressed to a plague of boils? [I wish I were making that up.]

Reading your comment has indeed made the whole thing a little more bearable.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: getting cheeky

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highlighters are an even trickier lot, since many of the more brilliant ones have a tendency to e…

making faces :: chanel's velvet realm

who doesn't love velvet? i know when i was younger, i used to, as george costanza longed to, "drape myself in velvet" and although that phase passed with time, i still think that the plush fabric has to be one of the high points of human achievement, up there with interior heating, advanced medicine and vodka. so to me, it's no surprise that one of the most hotly anticipated launches in the cosmetic world is chanel's new "rouge allure velvet" lipstick line, because even the name immediately makes me want to put it on my lips.

on a more concrete level, chanel describes these lipsticks as "luminous matte", which is sort of like the holy grail for lipstick lovers. we all want those intense, come-hither film noir lips, the sort where young men and sunlight are lost and never heard from again, but historically [including during the making of those films], applying a matte lipstick felt sort of like colouring in your lips with an old crayon that had…