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the migraine that ate my brain

update! actual conversation that happened today ::

my boss : are you ok?
me : yes.
my boss :  what's that with your face?
me : i think i was trying to smile at you.

also, if you're functioning at below optimal, be careful not to get distracted by conversations that might be happening around you, or you'll end up sending an email that says

"these images are really just to help you peeing the bed"

in case it wasn't clear, that part in italics wasn't supposed to be in the email. i don't advise people on how to pee the bed for a living. although in my state, maybe that's what i should be doing.

*

yesterday, i had a migraine, which is always a weird experience for me, in that it can be almost any unpleasant sensation you can imagine. yesterday's was particularly painful, which mine generally aren't [hate me, it's ok] and has left me with what feels like a seasickness and an epic case of the stupids.

a couple of examples:

meant to say :: haha! my hubby sent me a picture of himself wearing a face mask. it's so cute that we're both conscious about our skin.

said :: my husband is at home giving himself a facial.

clearly, there is a meaning to that second one that i didn't intend. and, for what it's worth, no one wants to be the one who asks which meaning you were going for. in fact, no one wants anything to do with you if they think you might have been trying to start a conversation about someone getting spooge on their face.

meant to say :: i have coloured my hair, which is now black, having been light blonde the last time you saw me.

said :: you wouldn't recognise me- i'm black now.

and it doesn't help when you try to clarify by saying "i mean i went black over the weekend".

i'd also like to point out that i've had to rewrite this incredibly short post several times because my spelling, grammar and logic are not working today.

also, this makes me laugh way too much:




Comments

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long suffering

i've been meaning to write this post for a while, but, every time i get started, something happens that makes me rethink portions of it, to add or subtract or consider a different way of looking at things. the post was originally going to be my take on a #metoo statement, but i ended up making that post on my personal facebook page. [it's not that i don't love you all, but there are a few things i'm not comfortable putting in the entirely public sphere.] but beyond joining the #metoo juggernaut, i wanted to write something about the wave of sexual assault revelations that continues to swell over the north american media landscape that wasn't about me. then i realised that that was a little more complicated than just writing "so, lotta sex rapes happenin' these days, ain't there?" or whatever it was that i was going to say.

so i tried writing something about just a part of it: the media coverage or the entertainment industry or the politicians or …

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: getting cheeky

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highlighters are an even trickier lot, since many of the more brilliant ones have a tendency to e…