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marketing strategies 101

you may have noticed that i don't write about spam nearly as often as i used to. or about nuisance calls. apparently, everyone from bell canada to god to the people who are receiving error messages from my windows computer have all received the alert that it makes my life better to make their lives worse. in fact, i get very few spam messages or nuisance calls any more.

except...

i have been finding a fair amount of spanish spam in my mail filter. which would be interesting targeting, if i actually spoke spanish. but i don't. i speak english and french and enough german to say please and thank you and 'do you speak english or french?' but i've never learned spanish. still, what meagre trickle of spam i get is all in espanol these days.

i'll admit that, while i work in marketing, i never went to school for it, so maybe i missed the course about how it's very modern and edgy and daring to market to people through a text-based medium using a language they don't speak. maybe it's a sort of a lifestyle-lure and i'm supposed to simply feel what they mean when sending me promises of "chorizo grande", but i'm just not a good enough consumer to pick up on their messages.

on the other hand and without sarcasm, my boss showed me this video she found and i think that it's the most interesting marketing document i've ever seen. it also explains the buying habits of everyone i've ever met, instantaneously. and probably everyone i haven't met, too.



what planet are you from?

Comments

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…