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marketing strategies 101

you may have noticed that i don't write about spam nearly as often as i used to. or about nuisance calls. apparently, everyone from bell canada to god to the people who are receiving error messages from my windows computer have all received the alert that it makes my life better to make their lives worse. in fact, i get very few spam messages or nuisance calls any more.

except...

i have been finding a fair amount of spanish spam in my mail filter. which would be interesting targeting, if i actually spoke spanish. but i don't. i speak english and french and enough german to say please and thank you and 'do you speak english or french?' but i've never learned spanish. still, what meagre trickle of spam i get is all in espanol these days.

i'll admit that, while i work in marketing, i never went to school for it, so maybe i missed the course about how it's very modern and edgy and daring to market to people through a text-based medium using a language they don't speak. maybe it's a sort of a lifestyle-lure and i'm supposed to simply feel what they mean when sending me promises of "chorizo grande", but i'm just not a good enough consumer to pick up on their messages.

on the other hand and without sarcasm, my boss showed me this video she found and i think that it's the most interesting marketing document i've ever seen. it also explains the buying habits of everyone i've ever met, instantaneously. and probably everyone i haven't met, too.



what planet are you from?

Comments

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: chanel's velvet realm

who doesn't love velvet? i know when i was younger, i used to, as george costanza longed to, "drape myself in velvet" and although that phase passed with time, i still think that the plush fabric has to be one of the high points of human achievement, up there with interior heating, advanced medicine and vodka. so to me, it's no surprise that one of the most hotly anticipated launches in the cosmetic world is chanel's new "rouge allure velvet" lipstick line, because even the name immediately makes me want to put it on my lips.

on a more concrete level, chanel describes these lipsticks as "luminous matte", which is sort of like the holy grail for lipstick lovers. we all want those intense, come-hither film noir lips, the sort where young men and sunlight are lost and never heard from again, but historically [including during the making of those films], applying a matte lipstick felt sort of like colouring in your lips with an old crayon that had…

long suffering

i've been meaning to write this post for a while, but, every time i get started, something happens that makes me rethink portions of it, to add or subtract or consider a different way of looking at things. the post was originally going to be my take on a #metoo statement, but i ended up making that post on my personal facebook page. [it's not that i don't love you all, but there are a few things i'm not comfortable putting in the entirely public sphere.] but beyond joining the #metoo juggernaut, i wanted to write something about the wave of sexual assault revelations that continues to swell over the north american media landscape that wasn't about me. then i realised that that was a little more complicated than just writing "so, lotta sex rapes happenin' these days, ain't there?" or whatever it was that i was going to say.

so i tried writing something about just a part of it: the media coverage or the entertainment industry or the politicians or …