02 December 2012

killing you loudly

last night i woke dom up about seven times screaming bloody murder. that really has to be some kind of record. 

every time, he'd jostle me until i was awake and tell me i was having a nightmare, to which my initial reaction was "duh" because i was the one having it, so i'm perfectly aware that what was happening wasn't pleasant. it's just that i kept going when i fell back to sleep and gave me more reasons to yell. also, being interrupted meant that i'd actually rewind and start certain bits over again, which means that id end up having to watch the scary parts again almost immediately and... well, you can probably guess what happened. 

now, although i've always had some pretty epic nightmares, i have noticed in the last few years that the waking up screaming thing has become more frequent. kind of alarmingly frequent for me and probably anyone in my general vicinity. so i thought i would try to find some pages on line that might explain why i'm having these episodes and what i might do to avoid them. 

if you've experienced this problem and are thinking of doing the same, let me save you a google: don't. it's among the most useless searches you'll ever do, right up there with "how do i search for something on the internet". 

here are some of the awesome tips of advice on offer: 

"If its bothering you that much and its reoccurring, I wouldn't even bother posting this online. Go see a psychiatrist."

aside from the rather cheap shot of responding to someone's question by telling them they shouldn't bother posting about it when they clearly already have, this answer really falls apart with the first word. what do you mean if it bothers me? well, ok, it honestly doesn't bother me that much at all. i just go back to sleep. it does, however, bother people around me, like dom, my cats and the neighbours. so i guess if i want to be a total dick about it, it isn't really bothering me too much at all, so i should just leave it. 


but that came from yahoo answers, where reasoned discourse goes to die. so i tried a site modestly titled allexperts.com. eat it, internet. we have all the expert. 

this is the response from one of their experts to a woman who complained she had been waking up screaming and feeling as if she couldn't breathe. 

"I you wake up feeling short of breath, it could be because you have sleep apnea, which is sometimes accompanied by snoring, sometimes losing even 5 pounds helps. Also sleep with 2 pillows."

thanks, dr. douchebag, that's really sweet of you. this woman wakes up screaming and panicking, so clearly she is fat. except that she's not really screaming, it's just a unique kind of snoring. also, might i suggest that you consult one of the other experts on your site? one who specialises in grammar and spelling? 

this one from psychcentral.com is definitely one i'm sharing with dom:

"Do not intervene. Let the person scream it out."

because i know that if screams from the person next to me wake me up in the middle of the night, i'll be perfectly happy to let them just keep screaming for however long they want to. after all, isn't everyone just the picture of rationality and patience when they're woken up late at night? 

what's most disturbing to me is that almost every piece i could find was about children between two and six years old having "night terrors", which are distinguished by waking up and not remembering what happened, which isn't what i'm going through at all. i know perfectly well that last night i was having a dream about investigating a murder and coming into contact with a religious group that was an extreme offshoot of mormonism that was conspiring to kill people who had left their flock for reasons i wasn't able to work out because someone kept waking me up to tell me that i was screaming. 

also i am not between two and six years old. 

as far as i can tell, the remedy for this problem is to buy earplugs for both dom and the cats for xmas. because it's not really a problem at all. unless you need sleep.



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