Skip to main content

women who run with the cows

pretty much any trip i go on with strangers, i eventually end up getting tagged as the one who likes to spend her time with the animals. i'm ok with this, because i figure i'm likely to get tagged as eccentric anywhere and it's better that than "the one who needs heavier medication". 

on this trip, i didn't even start out being that person [the one who loves animals], because it was actually someone else who kept going on about wanting to get pictures of swiss cows with their bells, which can be heard basically everywhere in the country outside of downtown zurich and all this started because i was just pointing out to her where the cows were, which is basically everywhere, including by the side of the highway and in the neighbours' back yards. 

wild wild life

cows are completely ubiquitous in switzerland. and so is their poop. the alps are covered in cow poop. i'm working on a theory that the alps are, in fact, made of cow poop. 

i saw more of this than cheese. and there was a lot of cheese.

because the cows are allowed to wander and poop as they please, it's actually pretty easy to get close to them and i just figured why wouldn't you want to get closer if you could? 

oh, hi there

um, do i know you?
you did not just ask to borrow a cup of milk
instead of standing there, how about grabbing me a fly swatter?
actually, one of my early memories was seeing my father attacked by a cow who objected to us using their field as a picnic ground, so i think i'd have an excuse to keep my distance, but since i wanted to get close, there really wasn't a good excuse for anyone else, since there just aren't that many people with traumatic cow memories. 

and i suppose we're supposed to be cool with you people eating our relatives?

as it turns out, cows seem to like me. they were at least curious enough to come and see me and one even decided to give me a big bovine kiss on the hand, which is sort of wet and slimy and i had to keep reminding myself that it was at least theoretically adorable. 

pucker up, princess

and then i managed to electrocute my right nipple on the almost invisible fence and became "fried nipple lady", which is more original than "the one who likes to spend her time with animals", you have to admit. 

that sounded like it hurt, lady
why would you do that to yourself?

try to look the other way so she can't see us giggling...

Comments

as long as you're here, why not read more?

mental health mondays :: the war at home

what's worse than being sent off to war when you're barely old enough to order a drink in a bar? making it home only to get poisoned by the government that sent you there. 
although it's certainly not a secret, i don't find that the opiate/ opioid crisis happening in america gets nearly the attention it deserves. at least, what attention it gets just seems to repeat "thousands of people are dying, it's terrible", without ever explaining how things got to the state they are now. there's mention of heroin becoming cheaper, of shameful over-prescriptions and dumping of pills in poorly regulated states/ counties, etc. but too much of the media coverage seems content to say that there's a problem and leave it at that.

one of the things that might be hindering debate is that a very big problem likely has a lot of different causes, which means that it's important to break it down into smaller problems to deal with it. and one of those problems conne…

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: a lip for all seasons [summer edition]

this may seem like an odd time to think about summer, but not to think about coolness. it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea that summer is considered "cool" in colour analysis terms and, in my opinion, reads as the coolest of the cool, because everything in it is touched with the same chilly grey. winter may have the coldest colours, but its palette is so vivid that it distracts the eye. everything in summer is fresh and misty, like the morning sky before the sun breaks through. in my original post on the season, i compared it to monet's paintings of waterlilies at his garden in giverny and, if i do say so, i think that's an apt characterisation.

finding lip colours touched with summer grey and blue is, as you might expect, kind of tricky. the cosmetic world seems obsessed with bringing warmth, which doesn't recognise that some complexions don't support it well. [also, different complexions support different kinds of warmth, but that's another…