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who throws stuff like this out?

normally, the process of taking down the garbage is only exciting in a bad way. like the time that a bag of cat litter had a leak so there was a trail of pee-soaked sand leading from the garage to our door and i had to sweep basically the entire building because i couldn't exactly claim that someone else had planted a stream of dirty cat litter to frame me. that is really as exciting as garbage day gets in this house.

except today.

because today i took down the garbage and was confronted with something so strange and glorious that i bounded back up four flights of stairs to grab my phone so that it could be committed to the ages. honestly, my first instinct was to grab it and take it back upstairs with me, but since i growl at dom every time he brings a new blu-ray into our overstuffed home, i felt like i might have a hard time justifying the necessity of a bristol board school project about a non-existent religion based on lemons and chuck norris. although really, now that i type that out, it should justify itself.

and it's not like it was even in the real trash, it was just propped up waiting for me to find it.

behold ::











go ahead, click on the pictures. make them big so that you can read every part of this.

i also hope you'll be able to read the "teacher's comments" below ::


that's right, the only bad thing about this is the fact that it's graded by a teacher who apparently believes that content is roughly equivalent to bristol board in the grand scheme of things [something to keep in mind for a future doctoral dissertation] and who likewise can't spell "appealing".

so feel free to worship the lemon in your own way. or worship something else. worship something you find in your own trash.

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jihadvertising?

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am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

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