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who throws stuff like this out?

normally, the process of taking down the garbage is only exciting in a bad way. like the time that a bag of cat litter had a leak so there was a trail of pee-soaked sand leading from the garage to our door and i had to sweep basically the entire building because i couldn't exactly claim that someone else had planted a stream of dirty cat litter to frame me. that is really as exciting as garbage day gets in this house.

except today.

because today i took down the garbage and was confronted with something so strange and glorious that i bounded back up four flights of stairs to grab my phone so that it could be committed to the ages. honestly, my first instinct was to grab it and take it back upstairs with me, but since i growl at dom every time he brings a new blu-ray into our overstuffed home, i felt like i might have a hard time justifying the necessity of a bristol board school project about a non-existent religion based on lemons and chuck norris. although really, now that i type that out, it should justify itself.

and it's not like it was even in the real trash, it was just propped up waiting for me to find it.

behold ::

go ahead, click on the pictures. make them big so that you can read every part of this.

i also hope you'll be able to read the "teacher's comments" below ::

that's right, the only bad thing about this is the fact that it's graded by a teacher who apparently believes that content is roughly equivalent to bristol board in the grand scheme of things [something to keep in mind for a future doctoral dissertation] and who likewise can't spell "appealing".

so feel free to worship the lemon in your own way. or worship something else. worship something you find in your own trash.


as long as you're here, why not read more?


i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:

am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: where even the depressed ones are happy

this past week saw the publication of the annual world happiness report, a look at nations around the world and how people in each of them feel about their lot in life. i started following this a few years ago, and this year it occurred to me that it would be fun to look at how the happy places compared to the crazy places. i mean, what if those countries aren't really all that happy, but just have an extremely high rate of psychotic/ delusional disorders?

so, i set to work putting together a comparison. as it happens, that's a bit trickier than it sounds, because information on any kind of disability is more difficult to come by than you might think. and no type of disability is more controversial than a mental illness, which means that there are even more complications around definitions, seeking treatment, prognoses, record-keeping... it's hard to tell how reliable anything you're looking at is. [not that there aren't some good sources.]

and what sources there …

making faces :: soft touch

ah winter, how my lips hate you. it's too bad, really, because the rest of me likes winter, down to about -12 or so. but there's no arguing that i get dried out. nuxe rĂªve de miel is my super best friend at this time of year, even more so than otherwise. [i gave bite's agave lip mask a try only to find out i'm allergic to something in it.] but our [still] new apartment is somewhat drier than the old one [electric vs hot water heating], which meant that, for a long stretch, virtually every kind of lipstick was uncomfortable. the horror. [i wrote a post a while back about the formulas that are friendliest to chapped lips.]

faced with this dilemma, i decided to try something not exactly new, but [for me], out of the ordinary: being a gloss girl. now, i don't mind glosses. i buy them from time to time, and i used to buy more until i discovered that i just wasn't using them near enough to justify the continued purchases. my issues with glosses are that they feather…