Skip to main content

who throws stuff like this out?

normally, the process of taking down the garbage is only exciting in a bad way. like the time that a bag of cat litter had a leak so there was a trail of pee-soaked sand leading from the garage to our door and i had to sweep basically the entire building because i couldn't exactly claim that someone else had planted a stream of dirty cat litter to frame me. that is really as exciting as garbage day gets in this house.

except today.

because today i took down the garbage and was confronted with something so strange and glorious that i bounded back up four flights of stairs to grab my phone so that it could be committed to the ages. honestly, my first instinct was to grab it and take it back upstairs with me, but since i growl at dom every time he brings a new blu-ray into our overstuffed home, i felt like i might have a hard time justifying the necessity of a bristol board school project about a non-existent religion based on lemons and chuck norris. although really, now that i type that out, it should justify itself.

and it's not like it was even in the real trash, it was just propped up waiting for me to find it.

behold ::











go ahead, click on the pictures. make them big so that you can read every part of this.

i also hope you'll be able to read the "teacher's comments" below ::


that's right, the only bad thing about this is the fact that it's graded by a teacher who apparently believes that content is roughly equivalent to bristol board in the grand scheme of things [something to keep in mind for a future doctoral dissertation] and who likewise can't spell "appealing".

so feel free to worship the lemon in your own way. or worship something else. worship something you find in your own trash.

Comments

as long as you're here, why not read more?

losers?

just a short time ago, i waxed prosaic about trump supporters who felt betrayed by their candidate pursuing in office the exact things that he said he would. short version: i have no sympathy.

today is a bit different. in the wake of america's bombing of a syrian air strip, in response to a chemical weapons attack by the syrian government, my facebook and twitter feeds were peppered with plaintive shades of "we believed you". these are the people who heard trump say that he wanted the united states to step back and focus on defending its own. indeed, trump did say such things, over and over; america cannot be the policeman of the world. even arch-liberal cynics like me had to admit that this was a refreshing argument to hear from someone outside the paul family, and, could easily have been turned into trump's greatest argument against hillary clinton. [he chose to go another way, which also worked.]

trump also said, repeatedly, that america needed to invest heavily …

don't speak

you might think that it sounds dramatic, but linguistic genocide is something that happens. people in power will go to great lengths to eradicate certain languages, not just for the sheer joy of making the world a lesser place, but as a way of beating down the culture that's associated with it. language has a unique reciprocal bond with culture, and every group that has attempted to break down another has recognised that forbidding a cultural group from communicating in their own language is an extremely effective way to tear apart their culture.

there are lots [and lots and lots and lots] of examples of this sort of thing, some successful, some not, but far too many to cover in one blog post. however, i thought it was worth looking at some languages that have been the subjects of active repression, and what the political consequences of that have been.

devastation :: the native north american languages :: it should come as no surprise that the largest genocide in history [by a ma…

long division

after the united states election last year, there were the usual calls for the country to unite behind the new president. that never happens anymore, because, since george w. bush scored a victory in 2004, having launched the country into a war in iraq for no reason, the people on the losing side of a presidential election have been pretty bloody angry about it. democrats hated bush 43. republicans really hated obama. democrats really hate trump.

it didn't help that trump didn't make the typical conciliatory gestures like including a couple of members of the opposite party in his cabinet, or encouraging his party to proceed slowly with contentious legislation. barack obama arguably wasted at least two and as many as six years of his tenure as president trying to play peacemaker before he felt sufficiently safe to just say "screw you guys" and start governing around the ridiculous congress he was forced to deal with. not-giving-a-shit obama was the best president in …