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the everyday olympics!

i do not want to see 2 or 1
why should our bi-bi-annual celebration of psychical human achievement be limited to those tests that require strength, commitment and training? surely those of us who go through our lives patting ourselves on the back every time we take the stairs instead of the elevator deserve something to mark our accomplishments. after all, we do these things without trainers, meaning that we have only ourselves to rely on.

here are a few sports i think i'd be a medal contender for:

napping. i kick ass at napping. for someone who has so many problems with insomnia, when i want to sleep, it is really, really difficult to keep me awake. i often annoy dom with my ability to sleep on a dime, including at times when he's trying to talk to me, but i secretly think that he really just envies my ability to nap because he gets all screwed up and either can't relax enough to sleep or sleeps too long.

feline support. i don't mean supporting them by buying them food and litter and that sort of thing [although i'm good at that too], but i've evolved ways of doing all sorts of things while allowing a cat [or cats] to rest on me. like posting blogs. you have no idea how many of these blogs are posted with seth on my lap. obviously, i could combine this with skill #1, but that's almost too easy.

reaching things in high places. it's a fact of life at my size that there are going to be a lot of things out of your reach. like half the stuff in your kitchen, because the kitchen has not been built that can accommodate all of my stuff within an arm's length. and it's funny, because despite my almost cartoonish clumsiness in virtually every other aspect of my life, i have acquired a remarkable skill in getting things down from high places without resorting to the help of another. i drop things that are firmly in my grip, but i can coax a heavy casserole dish off a shelf higher than i am with my arms fully extended, using nought but my fingertips.

tiny, neat writing. of course, you can't tell this from reading stuff i type here, but my writing is kind of like a circus sideshow. people get hypnotised by it, even when they're supposed to be paying attention to something else. the truth is, i've always had tiny writing, ever since i was around eight or nine. when i started university, i tried making myself write larger so that i could work faster, but it felt unnatural and i abandoned the effort. i consider it environmentally responsible, because i use less paper.

"blind" lipstick application. i can get it exactly in the right spot without a mirror. that's right. i know where my lips are without checking, at all times.

so what special sports would you compete in? what would your gold medal events be?


as long as you're here, why not read more?

making faces :: soft touch

ah winter, how my lips hate you. it's too bad, really, because the rest of me likes winter, down to about -12 or so. but there's no arguing that i get dried out. nuxe rĂªve de miel is my super best friend at this time of year, even more so than otherwise. [i gave bite's agave lip mask a try only to find out i'm allergic to something in it.] but our [still] new apartment is somewhat drier than the old one [electric vs hot water heating], which meant that, for a long stretch, virtually every kind of lipstick was uncomfortable. the horror. [i wrote a post a while back about the formulas that are friendliest to chapped lips.]

faced with this dilemma, i decided to try something not exactly new, but [for me], out of the ordinary: being a gloss girl. now, i don't mind glosses. i buy them from time to time, and i used to buy more until i discovered that i just wasn't using them near enough to justify the continued purchases. my issues with glosses are that they feather…


i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:

am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: a lip for all seasons [summer edition]

this may seem like an odd time to think about summer, but not to think about coolness. it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea that summer is considered "cool" in colour analysis terms and, in my opinion, reads as the coolest of the cool, because everything in it is touched with the same chilly grey. winter may have the coldest colours, but its palette is so vivid that it distracts the eye. everything in summer is fresh and misty, like the morning sky before the sun breaks through. in my original post on the season, i compared it to monet's paintings of waterlilies at his garden in giverny and, if i do say so, i think that's an apt characterisation.

finding lip colours touched with summer grey and blue is, as you might expect, kind of tricky. the cosmetic world seems obsessed with bringing warmth, which doesn't recognise that some complexions don't support it well. [also, different complexions support different kinds of warmth, but that's another…