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this post will probably be a waste of your time

so this has been a real waste of a day. more or less. i actually woke up very early, but that's almost a guarantee that i'm going to waste the rest of the day, because i fall into the trap of thinking that i have lots of time to be productive, so that there's absolutely no problem with me procrastinating.

besides, i woke up early this morning because something had gone terribly wrong with my stomach, which is never conducive to productivity, unless you consider lying around and moaning a lot to be a noble pursuit.

what's worse is that it soon became obvious that something was wrong with all of our stomachs. i don't mean just me and dom, either, somehow, something managed to infect the cats as well. what's more fun when you have a touch of stomach flu than caring for cats with tummy issues? everything.

when you're a kid, being sick means that people are going to be checking on you, waiting on you, offering to get things that you want on a regular basis and just generally giving you a break. when you're an adult and you get sick, it means that the laundry and the dishes will be 24 hours more difficult to deal with. and i'd sort of isolated today to be the day that i did housework because i knew it was going to be the one spectacularly crappy day weather-wise this week.

of course, i had dom to make things better, which he did as follows:

dom :: you're going to have to take care of all of us today.

me :: what? why would i have to take care of everyone? i'm sick too. i'm the one who woke up sick at dawn.

dom :: but you're the oldest.

i think he mentioned at that point that i'd probably want him to sleep on the sofa tonight, which really just shows that he wasn't thinking clearly. i'm feeling unwell. why would i want to get up and go into the living room to stab him in his sleep when i can do it from the comfort of bed?

in the meantime, i'm trying to take a little pride in the few things that i got done today. for instance, i did remember to update "a definable moment in time". so go read that and forget what i said about stabbing someone in his sleep. or i'll have to find you and stab you. when i'm feeling better.

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…