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assimilate this, motherfuckers
as many of you know, i love my spam. not the imitation foodstuff, you realise, but the emails i end up getting for things like imitation watches, cheap drugs and sex videos featuring celebrities about whom i couldn't care less. but this one- copied and pasted, word for word, elevates the spam email to a sort of art form. there was a link provided in the email promising something called "free ciolis", but honestly, who cares? the text is where the action is at. [btw, dom mentioned that if you read this in a growly voice, it sounds exactly like a skinny puppy lyric. he's right.]



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as long as you're here, why not read more?

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…

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