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is this really what you want?

this actually raises other questions i'm likewise unable to answer
i was just perusing my google analytics to see who's been checking this spot out and how they've come to be here.

the most common ways for people to arrive here are fairly obvious- looking for a picture or review of a particular cosmetic product [happy to oblige], looking for a download of a particular album [sorry] or- less frequently than before but still prevalent- looking for dirt on bell canada and stumbling across details of my epic battle. although that battle has long passed, i'm happy to say horrible things about the company at the least provocation, so feel free to provoke me.

however, there are also some slightly stranger ways in which people find this blog. for instance, every day, i get someone who searched for "hooded figure" stumbling upon this post. and while there's not a lot of sense to most things here, that is an especially strange introduction. i wonder how many of them actually come back. [i should also add that if i search for the words "hooded figure", that post doesn't turn up.]

lately, this post has been getting a shocking amount of traffic, especially when you consider that it has to do with an election that happened in the first half of this year. i suspect that traffic is directed there from people looking for an unbelievably adorable photo of a baby seal and, yes, his photo would win anyone's heart.

back when i was doing mental health mondays, i used to get a lot of hits from people looking for drugs- information on them, yes, but often looking to buy them. i'd like to state officially that i don't sell drugs through this blog. [although it might be a way of boosting my income.] terms related to mental illness are also popular routes here ["anorexia" and "dissociative identity disorder" are the all-time most popular search terms leading to this blog.]

however, there are some methods of getting here that i just don't understand. and some of those make me deeply uncomfortable.


DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?


"been a useless alcoholic since benzos" :: might i suggest that if you continue to consume alcohol and benzodiazepines that you should be checking yourself into a clinic? nothing you find on the internet is going to tell you anything except what a bad idea that combination is. get thy butt to a doctor, pronto.

"boxmate meaning" :: if you find that out, please let me know. this probably isn't a good place to find out the meaning of anything. the host here is crazy, you know.

"blowjob" :: if you can't find a better resource for those on the internet than this blog, you're not trying very hard.

"anorexic toppless" :: well now that is an extremely specific fetish, but god knows there's a site for everything. might i suggest that you would have better luck finding resources if you learned to spell what you're looking for?

"gaysex blogspot" :: ok, is there some reason why all the dyslexic/ illiterate porn seekers are getting directed here? seriously, this will only lead to disappointment. and now i'm probably going to get a hundred hits a week from people looking for dyslexic porn.

"internet epic fail" :: well, it's nice to know that when people are looking for the worst of the internet, this is where they come. way to boost my self-confidence, google. [and no, that isn't a one-time thing. it's shown up many times.]

"heliotrope eyelids" :: i actually realised after a minute that this term led to me because of the wording i used in one of the looks i did in my "passion for purple". personally, i just love the idea that someone was searching for the term "heliotrope eyelids". there should definitely be a hipster band from williamsburg or the rhode island school of design with that name. definitely.

but my personal favourite search term, which comes up at least a few times a week is:

"http://morelikespace.blogspot.com" :: i'd like to put it to you that 1. you really don't need to search for a site when you have the full address or 2. you're unlikely to find another site when the information you enter is so specific.

["more like space kate" is also popular, but a bit more understandable. and it sounds like a wonderful dessert if you say it all in one flow.]

thank you very much to all of you who read posts on this blog this year. i truly appreciate every one of you and it gives me a great sense of satisfaction when i hear that people get something out of the experience of reading things here, whatever they may be. i hope that i'll be able to continue to bring you what you want, but i can't make any promises about the porn, although i did once consider pursuing stick figure porn in order to flex my artistic muscles. i can promise that i'll continue to be here, posting the contents of my addled brain, until the internet shuts me down or my fingers are to arthritic to type [at which point we'll all probably have servant robots anyway].

Comments

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…