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in search of halloween 4

today, i decided to take a stroll through westmount, a decidedly more affluent neighbourhood located adjacent to mine and i have come to the following conclusion: rich people are way more disturbed than poor people. these homes are bedecked in all manner of horrors, which probably means that their psychologists are able to buy a new model lexus every couple of years and people like me are going to have a field day around halloween. i have to say that i got noticed far more than on other days and the level of concern that a stranger was photographing their houses fluttered between "whatever" and "that's cute". i'm assuming they're secure in the knowledge that anyone seeing their lawn decorations would know that they were in for a grisly death if they got caught trying to break in.

so here is halloween, westmount style:

it starts innocently, with a couple of happy scarecrows and cobwebs...


 then there are ghosts in the sky... or something...


i'd be pissed off too, if i were a midget left in a gibbet. in modern-day montreal.


i photographed this the other day, but i swear it's grown...



THERE IS SO MUCH MORE...





ah, the bloody skull-bearing bush...


these guys continue to amuse me. they're so polite-looking, like they're at a tea party... "i say, the weather's been damned vexing lately, wouldn't you say mortimer?"



a hand in the bush is worth... wait, what?


lynchings are a popular motif this year




the garbage bag pumpkin tree? you are so totally not even trying...


ok, points for the severed limb farm, but the garbage bag pumpkins are still kinds lame...





i think the pumpkin in the middle is getting humped by the angry ghost. possibly the pumpkin on the bottom.



squashed by your own gravestone is a horrible way to go...


i'm picturing kids with serious arachnophobia living here...



this is a horrible picture, but i just loved the witch's hat and boots left at the door... like she knew it was rude to be a witch inside the house...


someone's broomstick evidently malfunctioned




more squished witch paraphernalia



i kept feeling like this gal was going to catapult something at me. i love that she's holding an apple. very grimm's fairy tales.


this looks like a pumpkin is being offered to satan.



no kids will ever bother this house...



at this point, a regular jack-o-lantern seems kind of shocking...


i think i literally squeed when i saw this place...


this is the first actual devil i've seen. bravo.


i think the idea here is that a witch just left her hat behind in the graveyard...



come right in...


i love the fact that the axe murderer evidently took the head, but dropped the legs...







it's another crappy photo, but i think the residents live here, so i had to include it...




just call me angel of the morning, angel...


too... much... awesome...



her eyes light up and she makes noises... at least i hope that's what happened, because if not, i need to change my meds...


the lady in this house came to the door when she saw me. when she realised what i was doing, she smiled and waved. some people are so cool...


the human skull tree!


there's something quite voudoun about the guy on the tombstone. he reminds me of the barons.


and forgive me, i don't think i've introduced you to bonesy, who guards our front door during the month of october. [during the rest of the year, i like to place him randomly throughout the building, for shits and giggles...]




the crazy thing is that this represents just a tiny slice of westmount. i'm dying [possibly literally] to see what lurks in some of the larger houses with bigger lawns... more to come...

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jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: hot stuff, comin' through

i don't even know what to say about the weather. the end of september saw temperatures at a scalding 36c/ 97f outside. this is especially annoying because we've had a moderate summer. most days it rained a little in the morning, the temperatures didn't creep into the 30s too often and there wasn't the normal stretch of a few weeks when it felt like we were living on the sun. now, we've receded into more normal fall weather, although it's still on the warm side for mid-october. that climate change thing is a bitch.

trying to think of something positive in the situation, it does put me in a perfect frame of mind to write about urban decay's naked heat palette. it's the latest in what appears to be an endless series of warm neutral and red eyeshadow palettes that have followed in the footsteps of anastasia's modern renaissance. [which i ultimately decided i didn't need after doing a thorough search of my considerable stash.] i do think that it'…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…