Skip to main content

retroperspective

i started writing an annual "birthday post" here and then realised i had to stop because as much as it was depressing me to write it, there was no way i wanted to inflict it on the rest of the world. it kind of comes down to the fact that my entire year can be represented thus:

the double-edged sword
although now that i think of it, that might not be the best metaphor, because a real double-edged sword is actually just one that's capable of killing you and slicing you like lunch meat from a variety of different angles. and while i find that the last year has been trying, i don't think anything has actually been trying to kill me. [i'm not certain, mind you, and i have been given to think that i've pissed off a few deities, but that's it, really.]

what i mean by the double-edged sword is what people usually mean when they use that expression: that it seems like all of my silver linings have had a pretty thick, smoggy grey cloud around them. i was starting to enumerate the modest accomplishments i've had in the last year and it seemed like each of them could, nay should be followed by the words "yeah, but..."

i'd be tempted to look for the year's silver lining and say that "at least it's over, but then i remember that speech queen elizabeth ii did at the end of the year back in the nineties, where she referred to her family's "annis horribilis" and then the next year was about a thousand times worse. there's no way that i'm inviting that on my head by assuming that i've left the woods.

so i'm simply going to concentrate on positive icons that i'd like to think will represent the coming year for me. like this guy:

 
suck my ash
what would be more fulfilling than rising out of whatever burning mess i've managed to create, reborn as an immortal and powerful being. that can fly.

or something like this:

without the beard
yeah, i want a year i can look back at and think that it was marked by by proud march over the bodies of the stupid, ignorant and generally annoying to ultimate victory.

at the very least, i'd like to be the one holding the sword at the end of next year.

and by the way, clouds don't have silver linings, either. even if i'd never been in a plane, i'd know that because silver is heavy and it would fall right through. so maybe this will just be the year that i stop using inappropriate expressions and i'll have to be happy with that.

oh and dom is playing the theme music to "the omen", while i'm typing this, because life isn't scary enough already.

Comments

Biba said…
I wish you a year that you want and that you'll be the one holding the sword at the same time next year!
flora_mundi said…
thanks very much! i remain hopeful, which is really the only thing one can do...

as long as you're here, why not read more?

presidenting is hard :: these people are not your friends

hello mr. president! a while back, i promised that i would periodically be giving you some advice on how to do your job, since you seem a little unclear on how everything works. i didn't mean to go so long between missives, but the fact is that i've been busy and you're administration has been in overdrive giving me things to write about. what i've realised is that many of those things are ones i can't help you with: if you or anyone in your immediate circle worked with russians to compromise the 2016 election, that shit is done. robert mueller is going to find that out, because he's the kind of person who looks like the theme from dragnet just automatically starts playing every time he enters a room. so that's your problem. i'm just here to talk to you about what you can do now that you are, by law, the president. because, while chief detective mueller is doing his thing, we all need to live with your decisions. i'm even less happy about that than…

write brain

i was talking to a friend of mine about coffee, specifically about our mutual need for coffee, yesterday and, literally as i was in the middle of a thought, an idea occurred to me that i felt like i had to note. so there i am, scribbling a note to myself that was really just a word salad of related terms, which i later transformed into a weird but more comprehensible note that i could refer to later. [i don't want another beatriz coca situation on my hands.] i feel like this idea isn't a story on its own, but something that i could incorporate into a larger project, which is good, because i have a few of those.

now, of course, i need to sit down and do research on this, because it's become terribly important to me that the details of this weird little idea that i'm planning on incorporating into a larger thing be totally plausible, even though no one but me is ever going to care. i'm increasingly convinced that the goal of every writer is to find someone who will t…

luck of the irish?

i like st. patrick's day. i like the fact that there is a holiday that celebrates celtic-ness and drunkeness at once (you could argue they were pretty close to begin with). in fact, it's probably second only to halloween as my favourite publicly recognised holiday.

so every year, i have to have my little ritual and that ritual involves visiting a pub and partaking of the cheer. i've made attempts at watching parades in various cities, but i've more recently given up that practice because a) eight out of ten times, it's freezing cold and/ or snowing in canada on march 17th and b) the parades seem to consist entirely of trucks carrying people who are as drunk as i would be, if i weren't freezing my tush off watching them. so i've backed off the parade in recent years.

however, a visit to the pub, the longer the better, is still an important thing for me.

next year, however, i'm going to have to plan things a little better.

first of all, i didn't …