12 July 2011

where does your country's flagpole stand [or fall]?

it's not a rorschach blot. it is what you're thinking.
it really shouldn't come as a surprise to me that this exists, but the idea that there is an index of world penis sizes still strikes me as kind of bizarre. i think it strikes me as bizarre because i don't have one, so i've never quite figured out the whole obsession over it. i feel the same way about owning a drill. if it does what i need it to do, isn't too finicky, doesn't crap out when i need it and doesn't come with a case that takes up a lot of space in my closet, i don't feel the need to upgrade every two weeks.

at first when i saw this, i assumed it was bulls**t, but then i realised that the measurements on the interactive map were in centimetres.

but it worries me that this sort of study is a) actually happening, which would indicate it's getting funding of some sort in an era when thousands of people starve to death every day; and b) capable of exacerbating the insecurities about size and masculinity that already seem to drive those in possession of the things.

seriously, no good can come of this.

THERE'S MORE BELOW THE CUT


the ones at the bottom of the list are going to feel the need to prove themselves. which is just great, because the world's two most populous nations are right down there [which in itself should actually reassure men everywhere that virility and length have nothing to do with one another].

a lot of the people in the countries that score highly are going to feel completely inferior, because they're immediately going to assume that they're surrounded by these three-legged freaks of nature, which is how fratricidal wars get started.

america, the world's largest economy and military superpower, clocks in at #98. you just know that's going to cost use a few middle eastern bombing campaigns.

and then you have the troubling nature of the data itself. because, when you look at the results by country, some are "measured" [and you have to think that those who volunteered for measurement were pretty confident in their manhood to begin with, so that probably overstates the results already], whereas others, including #1 democratic republic of congo, are "self-reported".

apparently, the people who put together these statistics have not met men before, or have at least not spoken to them about things like bench pressing strength, fishing or penis size, because taking a guy's word for it is no way to conduct research on national schlong status. seriously, go through the list of countries that self-reported and look at roughly where they fall compared to their more meticulously studied counterparts. sure, you have a few like greenland and ethiopia who seem to believe that honesty is the best policy, but overall, there is a tendency for those who "self-report" to come in well in excess of those submitted to the humiliation of the measuring tape.

and i also have to wonder why the top of the data page is festooned with ads encouraging me to vacation in vermont. what's the link that i'm missing here?

5 comments:

Biba said...

I don't know, if this is funny or sad...

Martin Rouge said...

The link you posted doesn't work. Just sayin'.

flora_mundi said...

Hm. Just clicked both links and they worked... I'm sure if you watn "world penis size index" in your google search memory, you could find it that way.

nodoors said...

they misspelled length

anyway,(most women i've known in the biblical sense say it's about girth: this study is lacking,)

the transformation has something of the miraculous - it's like a god who rises and dies

and i think the healty among us like our genitals - very much

flora_mundi said...

@nodoors- HA! I hadn't even noticed the "lenght"...

@Biba- I think it's extremely funny, until I start wondering if people take it seriously. Then it seems sad.

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