Skip to main content

where does your country's flagpole stand [or fall]?

it's not a rorschach blot. it is what you're thinking.
it really shouldn't come as a surprise to me that this exists, but the idea that there is an index of world penis sizes still strikes me as kind of bizarre. i think it strikes me as bizarre because i don't have one, so i've never quite figured out the whole obsession over it. i feel the same way about owning a drill. if it does what i need it to do, isn't too finicky, doesn't crap out when i need it and doesn't come with a case that takes up a lot of space in my closet, i don't feel the need to upgrade every two weeks.

at first when i saw this, i assumed it was bulls**t, but then i realised that the measurements on the interactive map were in centimetres.

but it worries me that this sort of study is a) actually happening, which would indicate it's getting funding of some sort in an era when thousands of people starve to death every day; and b) capable of exacerbating the insecurities about size and masculinity that already seem to drive those in possession of the things.

seriously, no good can come of this.

THERE'S MORE BELOW THE CUT


the ones at the bottom of the list are going to feel the need to prove themselves. which is just great, because the world's two most populous nations are right down there [which in itself should actually reassure men everywhere that virility and length have nothing to do with one another].

a lot of the people in the countries that score highly are going to feel completely inferior, because they're immediately going to assume that they're surrounded by these three-legged freaks of nature, which is how fratricidal wars get started.

america, the world's largest economy and military superpower, clocks in at #98. you just know that's going to cost use a few middle eastern bombing campaigns.

and then you have the troubling nature of the data itself. because, when you look at the results by country, some are "measured" [and you have to think that those who volunteered for measurement were pretty confident in their manhood to begin with, so that probably overstates the results already], whereas others, including #1 democratic republic of congo, are "self-reported".

apparently, the people who put together these statistics have not met men before, or have at least not spoken to them about things like bench pressing strength, fishing or penis size, because taking a guy's word for it is no way to conduct research on national schlong status. seriously, go through the list of countries that self-reported and look at roughly where they fall compared to their more meticulously studied counterparts. sure, you have a few like greenland and ethiopia who seem to believe that honesty is the best policy, but overall, there is a tendency for those who "self-report" to come in well in excess of those submitted to the humiliation of the measuring tape.

and i also have to wonder why the top of the data page is festooned with ads encouraging me to vacation in vermont. what's the link that i'm missing here?

Comments

Biba said…
I don't know, if this is funny or sad...
Martin Rouge said…
The link you posted doesn't work. Just sayin'.
flora_mundi said…
Hm. Just clicked both links and they worked... I'm sure if you watn "world penis size index" in your google search memory, you could find it that way.
nodoors said…
they misspelled length

anyway,(most women i've known in the biblical sense say it's about girth: this study is lacking,)

the transformation has something of the miraculous - it's like a god who rises and dies

and i think the healty among us like our genitals - very much
flora_mundi said…
@nodoors- HA! I hadn't even noticed the "lenght"...

@Biba- I think it's extremely funny, until I start wondering if people take it seriously. Then it seems sad.

as long as you're here, why not read more?

jihadvertising?

i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:



am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

mental health mondays :: the dangers of diagnosing

when you take a look at any reputable online source of information about mental health, it comes with a warning that anything you read on the site should not be considered a substitute for evaluation by a medical professional. so why are so many people jumping on the bandwagon to diagnose donald trump?

it's not uncommon for people to make glib judgments about the mental health of others, because we think that we understand what disorders entail. when i was working in offices, i noticed a lot of this: an immature and garrulous employee being labeled and partially excused because others were certain he had adhd, or a moody and indecisive boss dismissed as bipolar. [as you can imagine, that one struck me as particularly ignorant and, since i was the audience, ironic.] but in the case of trump, even professionals are weighing in on the subject. no fewer than twenty-seven psychiatrists have collaborated on a book called the dangerous case of donald trump. up to now, it's been unde…

making faces :: a winter tale

so this is it. we've reached the final season in our colour year. so far we've looked at spring, with its heart of citrus yellow, summer and its symphony of cool blues and autumn with its spicy bronzes and golds. and i'm still not sure i've found a good place to rest my face. i've chosen seasonal winners in each category, but are they really me?

it's a bit of a rhetorical question, of course, because i already had an inkling that my precocious childhood self might have been onto something when she declared herself a "winter". not that she knew what she was talking about, of course, but sometimes even fools say the right thing without meaning to. even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. [unless you're in europe and use a twenty-four hour clock, which actually makes a lot more sense.]

as with all the other seasons, winter is divided into three parts, the true winter at the centre, flanked by neighbours who carry a hint of the adjacent …